RvB Reboot
by Star Splice
Summary: What would happen if back in Blood gulch the teams got each got a female teammate? Well for once they might actually get something done and pull their heads out of their asses...Okay maybe not...
1. Chapter 1

Blood Gulch is as boring as it was yesterday… and the day before that… and a week

before that… Hell, probably way back when to whatever this planet passed off as a dinosaur

stormed through here was probably the most interesting thing to have ever happened in Blood

Gulch.

For crying out loud, Blood Gulch is just a box canyon with a military base on either end

that you could memorize in five minutes, tops. There are no animals to speak of, not even mice,

and the only plant life that grows here is grass with the occasional small tree.

And so it's up to the local Red, and Blue army to try to make life interesting there any way

they could. Of course they do that by standing, and yelling...then more standing. At the moment

to person yelling is the leader of the Red Army, Sarge.

"Griff! SImmons! get down here on the double!"

"Coming Sir!" A Maroon soldier says eagerly. Another soldier in Orange armor walks

behind him with a sigh as they approach.

"Hurry up ladies," Sarge says. "This ain't no ice cream social!"

" Ice cream social?" Simmons questions while looking at the orange soldier beside him.

" Quit the pillow talk you two," Sarge waves a warning finger " Does anyone want to

guess why I gathered you here, today?!" Giff looked up from where he was staring at the ground.

" Is it because the wars over and you're letting us go home?" He ask half sarcastic, and

half hopeful. You could just see the blank expression on his face from behind his visor.

"That's exactly it Private," Sarge says slowly. "The war's over, we won. Turns out you're

a big hero, and they're going to hold a parade in your honor! I get to drive the float, and Simmons

here is in charge of CONFETTI!"

"I'm no stranger to sarcasm, Sir," Griff says blandly.

Sarge exclaims, "Goddammit Private! Shut your mouth or else I'll have Simmons here slit

your throat in your sleep!"

"Oh, and I'd do it too," Simmons says happily.

"I know you would Simmons, good man." Sarge crosses his arms, "A couple of things

here Ladies. First off it seems Command has seen fit to increase our ranks here at Blood Gulch

outpost number one."

"Crap," Griff groans. "We're getting a rookie."

"Wrong Dead Man," Sarge says. "We're getting two, and they'll be here within the week.

However, today we received the first part of our shipment from Command. Lopez! Bring up the

vehicle."

Another soldier, this on in dark green, almost black, armor drives up in a jeep with a huge

turret in the back.

Simmons takes one look at it, and calls, "Shotgun!"

"Shotgun," Griff calls a second too late. "Fuck…"

Sarge folds his hands behind his back as he stands next to the jeep, "May I introduce our

new light reconnaissance vehicle! It has four inch armor plating, Mag Buffer suspension, a

mounted machine gunner position, and total seating for three. Gentlemen, this is the ML 12 LRV!

I like to call it the Warthog."

Simmons tilts his head, "Why Warthog, Sir?"

Sarge deadpans, "Because ML 12 LRV is too hard to say in conversation, Son."

Griff pipes up, "No, but why 'Warthog'? It doesn't really look like a pig…"

Sarge looks at him funny, "Say that again."

"I think it looks more like a Puma."

Sarge blinks inside his helmet, "What the Sam Hell is a Puma?!"

Simmons turns to Griff, "What, like the shoe company?"

"No," Griff says slowly. "Like a Puma, it's a Big Cat, like a Lion."

Sarge says, "You're making that up."

Griff protests, "I'm telling you it's a real animal!"

Sarge points at Simmons, "Simmons, I want you to poison Griff's next meal."

"Yes Sir!"

Sarge gestures at the Warthog, "Look, you see these two tow hooks? They look like

tusks, and what kind of animal has tusks?"

Griff stares blankly at him, and deadpans, "A Walrus."

"Didn't I just tell you to stop making up animals?!"

Off on a ridge overlooking the Reds' part of the Gulch are two soldiers in blue armor. One

of them has a sniper rifle, and is using it to spy on the Reds as they look over their vehicle. This

soldier's name is Church, and for those who are wondering he hasn't shot Sarge in the head yet

because he couldn't snipe the broad side of a barn.

" What are they doing?" The teal soldier standing behind Church said. That would be

Tucker. He's sarcastic...very sarcastic. But don't take our word for it, see for yourself.

" What?" Church hisses as he turns towards his teal teammate. " I said, what are they

doing?"

" Goddamn I'm so sick of answering that question!" Church growls angrily. Tucker puts

his hands on his hips and sasses back.

" Dude your the one with the rifle, I can't see shit!"

They stand in silence for a few minutes, and then Tucker gestures at the Warthog, "What

is that thing?"

"I don't know," Church replies. "I don't know, uh, looks like they got some kind of car down

there. We'd better get back to base, and report it."

Tucker gapes as Church stands, holstering the rifle across his back. "A car?! How come

they get a car?"

"What are you complaining about about man? We're about to get a tank in the very next

drop!"

"You can't pick up chicks in a tank," Tucker grumbles, crossing his arms.

Church sighs, "You know, you could bitch about anything, couldn't you? We're about to

get a tank, and you're worried about chicks. What chicks are we going to pick up?! And

secondly, how are you going to pick up chicks in a car that looks like that?!"

Tucker shrugs, "Well what kind of car is it?"

"I don't know," Church replies, a thoughtful tone in his voice. "It looks uh… It looks like

some kind of cat."

"...What, like a Puma?"

"Yeah man, there you go," Church replies, and they start headed for base.

Sarge crosses his arms, "So unless anyone has anymore mythical creatures to suggest

for the name of the new vehicle, we're going to stick with, "The Warthog." How about it Griff?"

"Yes sir, no more suggestions" he says in a defeated voice.

"You sure?" Sarge smiles to himself, "How about Bigfoot?"

"No, it's okay."

"Unicorn?"

"No, really, I'm… I'm good."

"How about Sasquatch?"

"Leprechaun," Simmons suggests, like the kiss ass that he is.

Griff turns to Simmons, "Hey, he doesn't need any help, Man."

"Phoenix," Sarge says, and then turns to Simmons. "Simmons, what's that name of that

Mexican lizard that eats all the goats?"

"Uh...That would be the chupacabra Sir." Sarge turns to Griff and points at him.

" Hey Griff, Chupa thingy how about that?! I like it, has a ring to it."

Griff has had enough by this point, and looks over Sarge's shoulder, "Will you quit picking

on me, and ask them what they think?"

"Them who?" Sarge turns. Two soldiers stand there, one of them in standard issue red

armor reserved for officers, and total rookies. The other in dark gray with red bicep pieces.

" Private Donut reporting Sir!" The red rookie said excitedly. Sarge stares at them, then

turns to Griff.

" Hey Deadman give these two a proper welcome, and tour around red base!" The

orange soldier groans in protest.

" Can't kiss ass over here do it Sir?!" He jerks a thumb at Simmons.

" I'd be happy to Sir!" The maroon soldier says giving Griff a black look from behind his

visor. Griff rolls his eyes and sighs. Sarge looks at the dark gray soldier.

" Come speak up. What's your name?"

" Winchester." is the quick reply. Everyone just stared at the soldier.

" What?"

" Nothing just we haven't had a woman on our team before." Simmons says awkwardly

crossing his arms.

"Not that we're complaining," Griff puts in.

Sarge nods to Winchester, "You just made yourself a valuable member of this team

Private Winchester. I've never hit a girl in my life, and i don't plan to change that anytime soon.

No doubt the Blues have just been waiting for the chance to exploit my one weakness, well now

they can't! Ha!"

Griff steps forward, "C'mon, I'll show you around. Not that hard to remember once you've

gone through the base once."

Over at blue base Tucker, and Church walk up. They spot a ship taking off, and they

watch it go.

"Looks like our tank is here," Tucker muses out loud.

A sharp whistle grabs their attention as two figures walk up. One is in standard blue

armor with a long helmet, and the other has black armor with silver highlights. The second

soldier's helmet is different too as the visor takes up most the space.

The silver faced soldier salutes, "Privates Caboose, and Argent reporting for duty!"

Tucker gapes, "Sweet! We got a chick!"

She offers her hand, "Kate Argent, nice to meet you!"

Church extends his hand and takes it.

" I'm Church this is Tucker." He points at the teal soldier. Tucker nods.

" Sup?"

Caboose looks upwards, "A sky… some clouds… and a few suns… OH! Wait! One

sun…"

" Rookie?" Tucker says blankly " Shut it."

"Alright, moving on." Church claps his hands together " First a tour...I guess...um That's

blue base." He gestures to the base " It has a front and back way inside...also a top. There's the

flag..." He scratched the back of his helmet. " I mean its pretty simple...But it's home." He turns

back towards the two rookies.

" Now on a more Serious note, What's both of your guys training?"

Argent ticks off on her fingers, "Hand to hand, stealth ops, and a specialization in the

Gravity Hammer I brought my own if you guys don't have one."

"I can drive Stick," Caboose says. Church coffs and turns to Tucker.

" Well so far they're much more useful than you." Tucker glares at him.

" I can say the same for you, Mr ' I have a sniper rifle and can't hit shit'." Church stays

quite for a few seconds.

" Shut up..."

" Wow great come back." Tucker says sarcastically. I told you we weren't kidding when

we said he is a sarcastic little shit.

"Now boys, don't fight over me," Argent teases with a giggle. Church sputters as Tucker

points and laughs.

" Don't worry babe if you want the winning side just choose me! And I even have a tank!"

He leans on tank with a smirk. Church sighs

" Well whatever." He looks over at caboose. " You said you could drive stick right? Dose

that also mean you can drive this thing?" He jerks a thumb at the tank.

"Maybe," he runs over, and jumps in. "And be careful around Argent! She speaks softly,

but she has a BIG stick!"

"Bow chicka bow WHOA!" Tucker steps back as Argent lifts a hammer as long as she is

tall out of a crate of supplies. It has a blade on one end, and looks like it could do a LOT OF

HURT! Church jumps back.

" What the hell is that thing?!"

"My baby," she says, hugging it, and securing the head of it to her back. "Ready to roll,

Sir!"

Church shakes himself " uh...right! Rookie have that tank ready?!" He says lifting the

sniper rifle off his back and loading it. Caboose is muttering to himself.

" Okay okay! Um...Here?" The tank jerks forward then back then forward again.

"Whoa, hold up," Argent runs behind the tank, and starts checking the wiring. "...Okay

Caboose, all set to go. I had to turn on the Friendly Fire protocols, now you won't have to worry

about shooting any of us."

Caboose nods " Thank you nice lady!" Church facepalms and sighs.

" Alright...I guess attack?" Tucker stares at him.

" You're horrible at this."

Argent draws her hammer, "Hammer time, eh?" She giggles, and taps it on the side of

the tank. A flash of energy almost flips the whole tank. "Oops! Sorry!" Caboose turns the tank

around.

" Yeah...it's totally okay...Why is there six pedals if there's only four directions?!"

"Two are for turning," Argent explains. "All the hand controls are for the weapons

systems," Argent explains. "Am I the only one who read the training manuals in the training?"

Church stares at her.

" Honestly you have no clue..." Tuckers taps his foot.

" Are we going to do something or sit around and talk?!"

" Well you know what I said att " Church was interrupted by Caboose almost running him

over with the tank.

" Sorry!"

Argent looks over the tank, "Isn't there some kind of training program in this thing? I

suggest we leave Caboose with the tank while we go get the drop on the Reds." Church nods.

" That's works too. " He climbs the side of the tank. "Rookie you're staying here. Try to

figure this thing out." Caboose shakes his head.

" Yeah..uh...I don't know how to do that..."

" Just press some buttons or something!"

" OH! Buttons I love buttons! Beep boop!" Church sighs and hops down.

Argent sighs, and starts running for the Red base. Tucker notices and bolts after her.

" Hey wait up!"

Giff sighs " Simmons I don't care for the last time!" The maroon soldier stopped in mid

rant and glared at him.

" You know you could lea "

" Someone's approaching the base." Winchester said suddenly picking up her rifle and

going to the top of the base. Giff and Simmons blink before following her.

They see someone in black armor running for the base packing a HUGE hammer! Giff

pales.

" What the hell is that thing?!"

"It's a gravity hammer. " Winchester said as if it were the most natural thing.

"Sounds dangerous," Sarge says, passing Winchester a sniper rifle. "Here, you know

how to use this thing?"

" Yes." Winchester takes the rifle and looks through the scope. "Get the Warthog and be

ready." She aims at the black figure and shoots the ground next to her feet. "I'll keep them

occupied."

"Good man, erm… soldier! Griff, you're driving! Simmons get on that turret!" Simmons

quickly hops on the torrent.

Down below Argent hops over the bullets aimed at her feet, and swings her hammer at a

boulder, sending it flying right towards the red base. Giff panics and ducks. Winchester rolls to

the side and shoots two more aimed at her head this time. Argent covers her face with the

hammer, deflecting the bullets.

"Church, how's Caboose doing?"

"Well he's still driving in circles. ..so still not good enough!"

"Has he tried to run you over again?"

"Yes! Twice!"

"Tell him the third time gets him a Gravity Hammer between the legs."

There's muffled talking then the sound of a loud engine and screaming.

"CABOOSE STOP THE DAMN TANK!"

"Oops!"

Argent sighs, and radios Tucker, "Tucker, abort mission, Caboose is trying to kill Church

again."

" Why does that not surprise me?" He sighs

Winchester radios Sarge " Sir, it seems their retreating."

"Already? Damn you're good! We didn't even fasten our seatbelts! Why do they put these

things in here anyways?"

"I don't think it was because of me Sir." She looks though the scope of her rifle at Blue

Base and raises a eyebrow at the sight. " Its seems they retreated because, either one of the

soldiers died, or their tank is going out of whack."

"Hey, a win is a win Winchester, don't diss it. You did better that Griff here, and I say that

counts for something."

" If you say so Sir." She lowers her rifle and helps Griff to his feet.

At the base Church runs from the tank. Argent secures her hammer to her back, and

jumps between them, grabbing the front of the tank, and lifting it over her head so the treads dig

themselves into grooves in the ground.

Caboose jumps out of the cockpit, "You are a very strong "

WHAM!

One solid blow to the crotch with her hammer sends Caboose impossibly high. Tucker

cringes and steps away from her. Church trots up to them and puts his hands on his knees

while he pants heavily. Tucker smirks and slaps him on the back hard.

" Damn you're out of shape!"

Argent puts her hammer on her back, and turns to the guys, "let's all agree from this point

on that Caboose is forbidden from heavy machinery." She looks to Church, "Right Sir?"

Church nods " Uh...Yeah *pant* banned." He sits up and stretches his back. Tucker looks

down at Caboose.

"uh...Dude? Are you still alive?"

Argent looks at the tank, "So… Tucker, wanna give the tank a try next?"

" As long as you promise not to hit me in the nuts afterwards." He climbs in the tank and

turns it on.

" Here goes nothing..."

Argent turns to Church, "If he tries to kill you then maybe we should just put you in the

tank?"


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter Two**_

"Dude! I think I can actually drive a straight line!" Tucker yells happily as he drives by.

"Church I was totally wrong ! We so could pick up chicks in this thing!"

Argent nods, rubbing the shaft of her hammer,

"Alright… now where's Caboose?"

Sarge collects his soldiers on the roof of the base.

"Well men, and lady," he says. "Today has been a life-altering experience for me. I

always thought the phrase "fight like a girl" was, and always would be, an insult. However after

today's battle I see I've been proven wrong."

He turns to Winchester, "Therefore, until further notice, I am tasking you with the most

important task here. I want you to protect the base."

Griff laughs, "Seriously? Sarge, that's all we ever do!"

Simmons perks up, "Hey, you hear that?"

Sarge looks to Simmons, "What?"

Simmons tilts his head, "It sounds like someone screaming…"

They all listen, and look up just in time for Caboose to come down from the sky,

slamming into Griff.

Winchester on complete reflex pulls out her pistol and points it at Caboose. Simmons

blinks. "Where the hell did he come from?!"

On the ground Griff groans in pain.

"Who cares?! Just get him off..."

Simmons sighs and bends down to drag Caboose off him. Griff sits up while rubbing his

back and turns his head to the Blue soldier.

"Seriously though where did he come from!?"

Simmons shrugs and nudges Caboose with a foot. Winchester turns her head towards

Sarge.

"Sir, will we be taking him as a prisoner?"

"Hell no," Sarge says. "Kill him, quickly! If we can bring down the Blues by even one man

we can-"

BOOM!

An explosion rocks the base. Sarge looks over his shoulder, and jumps, "SWEET

JIBBLING GIBLETS!"

_Five minutes earlier…_

"Son of a bitch," Church mutters. "Argent knocked Caboose into Red Base. Well we

should probably call command for a replacement."

Argent steps up, "Bad idea Sir, it'll take Command months to send reinforcements. I say

we have Vic call in a Freelancer or something." Church sighs and clicks on his radio.

" Vic?! You there man?"

"_Yo dude! Blue Command, what can I do for ya?"_

"Do you think you could send a Freeperson...or whatever they're called?"

"_A Freelancer? Sure dude, that I can do. There's one not too far from you so I'll justactivate the call beacon, and they'll be there in maybe an hour."_

"We don't have that long," Argent says. "Sir, permission to take Tucker, and the Tank to

buy us some time?"

" Sure I guess..."

"Let's go Tucker," Argent whoops, and jumps off the base, drawing her hammer. Tucker

turns the tank around and smirks.

" They'll never know what hit'em!"

Argent hops on the tank, and rides on one of the tread covers as Tucker drives the tank.

She looks up as she sees Sarge leveling his shotgun at Caboose.

"Aim for the walls," she shouts, jumping off, and running off to the side of the base.

Tucker aims for the front wall and shoots. Winchester turns her just in time to see the

tank fire.

" GET DOWN!" She barks as she grabs her rifle.

The shot rumbles the base making

Griff lose him balance and fall off the side of the base, he hits the ground with a loud THUD and

groans.

" Damnit!" He curses. He looks to the left and sees the warthog, he smirks and jumps

in the drivers seat.

Someone taps the side of the jeep, and he turns to see Argent, hammer in

hand.

"Hi," she says cheerfully, and slams her hammer in the undercarriage.

Griff is sent arcing over the base to the other side with the jeep. Winchester looks up and narrows her eyes.

" Sarge! Keep the tanks attention! Simmons look to see if Griff is okay! I'll deal with

them!" She jumps off the side of the base and lands with a roll, she stands rifle raised and

ready to fire.

Argent spots her with a smile, and runs at her, ramming into her with a shoulder.

She runs her into a concrete wall, nailing her into the rock.

"Hey Winnry," she giggles.

Winchester grunts as she hits the wall.

" Hello, Argent."

Argent backs up, leaving her in the wall, "Don't go anywhere!" She runs to the side,

running into the base.

Winchester sighs and plucks herself from the rock. Same old Argent. She

picks up her rifle and bolts after her.

On the other side of the base Griff groans from under the jeep. " I hate this place, I hate

it so much..."

Simmons runs up to the wreck, and blinks.

" Are you alive?!" He says nudging Griff with a foot.

Griff looks up at him with a glare.

" What the fuck do you think?!"

Simmons calls over his shoulder, "Still alive Sir!"

"...Are you sure?"

"Yes Sir!"

"Goddammit…"

Caboose runs up, and looks down at Griff under the jeep. He tilts his head, and then rolls

the Warthog off Griff with one hand. "There you go!"

Griff sits up and rubs his back, he then bends down a grabs his rifle from the ground, he

puts it on his back and climbs in the jeep. "Simmons get your ass on the damn torrent before

something else happens!"

"Really? Like what?" Caboose tilts his head.

Suddenly something unseen hits the three of them in the back of the head, and Caboose

is dragged away.

Argent runs outside, hammer at the ready, and pouts when she has nothing to

smash."God-Damnit…"

Winchester, who, by this point is up on a cliff and is out of sight shoots

the hand she's using to drag Caboose.

The air behind Caboose shimmers, and a figure in black armor appears. She looks up

at Winchester, and draws her Magnum pistol, jamming a bullet in the muzzle of Winchester's

sniper rifle.

Winchester curses and throws her rifle down. She jumps down and rolls before drawing

her pistol, she presses a small button on her forearm and disappears. She turns on her

radio. "Sir? Griff, and Simmons have successfully gotten the jeep, any further orders?"

"Yeah, return to base. We've misplaced our prisoner somehow."

" We didn't misplaced him someone came and got him. And I believe they're still here,

they have camouflage so look for any strange glints...just make sure it's not me."

"Why, can you turn invisible too?"

" Yes."

"Alright, Ten-four Winchester. Sarge Out!"

Winchester sighs and heads back inside the base.

Griff drives up in the jeep at the back of the base. " Are we going to attack those bastards back or what?!" He jumps out of the jeep and walks inside the base to meet up with the rest of the team.

Winchester fiddles with her sniper rifle and huffs angrily as she tries to get the bullet out of the barrel, finally getting sick of it she throws it over her shoulder and crosses her arms.

Donut jogs out of the base, "Hey guys, what'd I miss?"

Sarge turns to him, "Where the hell were you?! We were under attack!"

Donut jerks his head back towards the base, "I was looking at the interior, and I think we

can do a lot to spruce the place up. This one nice lady that ran past me suggested we go with

some nice white wall paint to cover up all that ugly cement in there."

Sarge exclaims, "_Great! _First I have one semi-competent soldier, and some cannonfodder

that at least knows how to hold a gun. _Now _I have a _completely _useless soldier with the

best soldier I could have ever hoped for! This means that our force as a team hasn't changed

one damn bit!"

Griff rolls his eyes. Winchester ignores their complaining.

" Sir, may I recommend going on the offensive? I think the wisest thing would be to cut

them from their tank. I can scope out a route."

Sarge nods, "A good idea. And in light of today's performances, I am hereby promoting

Winchester to my second-in-command."

Simmons stutters " B-but Sir! I thought I was your second-in-command! She just got

here less that eight hours ago!"

Griff laughs and points at the maroon soldier.

" Ha! I guess being a kiss-ass isn't always the answer, is it Simmons!?"

" Shut up!"

Sarge cocks his shotgun, "Both of you shut up. Winchester, take Donut, and Griff with

you. With any luck one, or both of them won't come back alive."

Winchester nods and walks out of the base without another word. Griff sighs as he follows behind her. Dount follows the two

happily. Winchester takes them about half-way between the bases, and goes off to the side.

They crouch behind a rock. She yanks Griff's rifle from him and uses the scope on it. "Ow! Hey, you could of asked," he complains.

"Quiet!" She hisses at him.

Off at Blue Base Argent walks up to Caboose. "Okay Caboose, I have an important job

for you, the most important job there is in this army. Okay?"

Caboose perks up. "Yeah, uh...It doesn't involve grenades does it? Church said I'm not

allowed to go anywhere near those..."

Argent shakes her head, and hands him a mop 'n bucket. "Nope, you're in charge of

keeping the base clean as you can, okay? The reason is because if the Reds somehow got in

here they'd be too distracted by how much nicer you make are base than theirs that they won't

even notice when we sneak up on them."

Caboose takes the mop and blinks. "Okay," he says happily, and starts mopping.

Argent turns to Church, "I can't believe that worked."

" Tell me about it, you can get him to do almost anything if you ask nicely."

"No heavy machinery, no explosives," she says. "Best case scenario is he takes a swig

of bleach, and we get to bury him in the back."

" Yeah, most likely."

Caboose walks by them scrubbing the floor. "Clean clean! Scrub, scrub!" he sings.

Argent watches him go, "Think we should tell Tucker to watch out for wet floors?"

The black figure from earlier storms over, and Argent waves, "Thank you Miss…?"

"Tex," she says curtly. "And you called me all the way here… to save your _janitor?"_

Church pales slightly, "Not exactly...the Reds have us out numbered..."

Argent glances between them, "Why do I get the feeling you two know each other?"

" We do...Anyway that's not the point!" he tries to change the subject discreetly. "Do

you think you can take out one of their men?"

Tex scoffs, "I can have them all dead before the sun goes down."

Argent says, "Bad idea Church, better to face the Devil you know than the one you

don't."

" Yeah...I agree with Argent, we can take out their commander."

Argent deadpans, "So he can be replaced with someone smarter?"

Tex crosses her arms, "So what the hell do you need me around for?"

Argent jerks a thumb at Caboose, "Well we're down one man in the field…"

" Basically Caboose is useless during a fight."

" Yeah! You can say that again!" Tucker yells from the top of the base.

Argent calls, "What are you doing up there? Church has the sniper rifle."

" Are you kidding?! He's about as useful with that thing as a baby is with a gun! All shoot

and no aim!"

Tex turns to Church, "Is he talking about you, or Caboose?"

"Alright! I admit I'm not the best with the sniper rifle! But I know how to use it."

" Pff! That's a load of bull!"

" Shut it Tucker."

"I'm pretty sure a melee doesn't count as knowing how to use it," Argent says. Church.

" Yeah okay, whatever." He grumbles.

Argent pats his arm, "Hey it's okay, I can show you what I know, though I'm no hotshot

with long-distance weapons myself." She steps back, talking to everyone this time, "So, since it

will take Red Army a while to get themselves together, I feel like going on a date. You in?"

Tucker jumps through the giant hole in the ceiling, barely missing Caboose on the

landing, "Fuck yeah I'm in!"

Argent sighs, "Not you, I was talking to _this _hot piece of ass." She curls an arm around

Tex's middle.

Tex looks down at the slightly shorter woman, "What?"

Caboose looks up from his cleaning, "What?"

Church snaps his head up, "What?!"

Tucker is too struck dumb for words.

Argent tilts her head to the side, "What? Don't tell me there's Homophobes on Blue

Army." Church shakes himself.

" No! No! We're not...Just kinda surprised us a little, sorry."

Argent shrugs, "It's okay, most everyone is like that when I tell them."

Tex removes her arm, and puts a finger in Argent's face, "Let's get something straight

here, and now. I do not date, not since _this _asshole…" She jerks a thumb at Church, and

continues, "And secondly I'm not your friend. Blue Command paid me to be here, and as soon

as I'm not needed I'm _gone."_

Argent sighs, "Wow, you sound like my mom."

Church sighs, "Guys just calm down."

Tucker snorts, "Are you kidding?! That was hot! Say something else to make them

fight!"

Church stares at him blankly, "You're not helping the situation."

"Does it look like I'm trying too?"

Caboose keeps glancing between all the people in the room, "I do not understand what

is happening right now so I'm just going to go back to cleaning now…"

Tex glares at Tucker, "One more word, and you'll regret it."

" Aw! Come on babe, loosen up! Bow chicka bow wow!"

Argent busts up laughing as

Tex storms out of the room. Then Argent takes off her helmet long enough to wipe away some

tears. She has short wavy raven-black hair that frames her face nicely, and chocolate-brown

eyes.

"Oh wow," she pants as she tries to catch her breath.

Tucker just stares at her then whistles lowly.

She smiles at him as she puts her helmet back on. "Well I guess I can't have every girl I

see. Hey Tucker, wanna show me where you guys put the supplies? My hammer is nice, but it's

no good mid-range unless I throw it." Tucker nods.

"Sure thing." He walks out and gestures for her to follow. She jogs out after him, and

starts playing with a rock like a hacky-sack.

Back with the Reds, Winchester lowers her rifle.

"Which one of you two can go to the other side, and get visual on the other side of Blue base?"

Griff leans against the rock their hiding behind and sighs, "Well you have my rifle, I can't

really do anything."

"Not like you can do anything _With _it..." Winchester mumbles to herself, She looks over

at Dount. "What about you?"

Dount nods, "Absolutely! "

"Good. Circle back to our base so they won't detect you, the only reason we're this close

is because my sniper rifle is broken."

Dount nods and snaps a salute, before running back to the

base and to the other side. When he gets the the other side he crouches and looks though the

scope of his rifle, he hums lightly and turns on his radio.

"I see their tank, it doesn't look like anyone is around it...Oh! Wait! There is...It looks like

the teal one,"

On the other side of the canyon Winchester nods. "Alright, he won't be a problem. I have

a route planned, lets get back to base." She stands and shoves Griff's rifle back to him. "You

_really _need to clean that thing. "

Griff grunts and puts the rifle on his back, "Yeah, okay, whatever."

When everyone's back at base Winchester taps a foot, "Where is Simmons?"

"Probably moping because you just took his job away from him," Griff says snidely.

Sarge walks up,

"Nope! He was just helping me with the new shipment! That new part I

requested for Lopez just came in."

Griff blinks. "Great, what is it this time?" he asks sarcastically.

"I ordered a brand-spanking-new speech module for him," Sarge says, pulling a chip out

of his belt, and loading it into a handheld device. "Now he won't just have to stare blankly at us."

Simmons says, "You should ground yourself sir."

Sarge turns his head to Simmons, "What?"

"It's basic electrical circuitry Sir," Simmons explains. "If you don't ground yourself to

something metal than the static on Lopez, and the chip could do damage to you."

Sarge scoffs, "Yeah right!" He starts putting the chip in, "How bad could it- OW SUNAVA

BITCH!" Sparks fly, and he backtracks fast as Lopez loads the chip.

Griffs snorts and tries to hold his laughter. "That just made my day five times better!" he chuckles.

Dount blinks, "So what does the chip do?"

"It lets him talk," Sarge growls, glaring at Griff.

Lopez turns to face them, "Hello, I am Lopez the Heavy."

Griff looks to Lopez, "What?"

"He's speaking Spanish," Simmons replies.

"I know that, I was asking you what he said."

"How should I know? just because I'm smart doesn't mean I speak Spanish."

" He said 'Hello, I am Lopez the heavy.'" Winchester says blankly, then looks at all of

them. "Do any of you guys even know another language?"

"I know Pig-Latin," Griff says.

"Everyone know Pig-Latin you dumbass," Simmons snorts.

Donut says, "I can speak gibberish!"

Sarge nods, "Good, maybe you can translate Simmons for me sometime."

Griff laughs, "Oh you just got burned by Sarge!"

Winchester sighs, "Is that a 'No' then?"

Griff nods, "Pretty much, don't take it personally but, you almost never get straight

answers around here."

"Even before I could speak I knew that," Lopez says, and turns to Winchester. "I'm

surprised you didn't figure that out in the first five minutes you got here."

"I've learn don't question things you don't understand, kind of like how I got shipped

here with these idjites."

"Idiots," Lopez corrects. "Your Spanish is a bit rusty, but I can help with that."

Sarge clears his throat, "Well if you're done small-talking then I'd like your report Private

Winchester."

"My apologies Sir, from what I studied, their tank is on the right side of the base, and one

soldier is outside, the rest are inside. I'm thinking we take out that one soldier, block all the exits

and use their base against them by trapping them in there."

He nods, "Good idea. Griff, you take Simmons in the Warthog to secure that tank, take

Donut as backup. I saw him tossing some rocks earlier, and I like the idea of what he could do

with a grenade. Winchester, Lopez, and I will go around the other side to box in the base. Any

questions? No? Good, let's move out folks!"


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter Three**_

Argent rummages in a crate behind the tank, bent over, "Now I know I put them

someplace… AHA! Score!" She pulls out a belt of blue grenades, and puts it one, next she pulls

out some weird looking purple pistols with holes in the top. She hums cheerfully to herself as

she start securing clips for them to her legs. Tucker walks up, and stops for a second to check

her rear out before speaking up.

" What the hell are you doing?"

She jumps, and turns, "Oh hey Tuck, just getting some stuff I brought with me. I didn't

really think I'd need it, but during the assault on Red base I figured it's better to have it, and not

need it than it is to not have it when you do need it. Just like a condom!"

" Yeah, okay...But _what _is it?" he gives the Needler a funny look. "I've never seen a gun

like that before."

"Well me, and a friend of mine had connections that got some Covenant weaponry after

Master Chief blew them to Kingdom Come," she explains. "It's kinda what made me decide to

join the army in the first place. So I packed it with my Gravity Hammer after I signed up. I call

these beauties here the Needlers!" She loads a clip into each gun, and crystalline pink spikes jut

from the holes in the top

.

Tucker jumps, "Holy-! Okay… I see how they got their name."

She nods, and flicks a switch. The needles sheath back into the gun as she straps it

to her hip. "Not very lethal, but the tranquilizing drugs in them will help at least slow someone

down. I don't like killing people with guns, it shows at least _some _respect if you do it to their

face."

Tucker nods and tilts his head, "True...Hey think we can get caboose to clean the

tank?...With someone watching him? He finished cleaning the base and now he won't stop

talking, which is why I'm out here."

"Seriously? I put him on janitor duty because it'll never _stay _clean. Tell him to come meet

me out here, I'll watch him."

Tucker goes inside the base, "HEY CABOOSE GET OUT HERE!"

Off in the distance Donut puts down his binoculars, "Um… guys, we might have a

problem. The black one is out by the tank now."

Simmons tilts his head, "The freelancer?"

"No the other black one."

Griff sighs, "Fantastic..."

Donut looks over at him, "Scared of being hammered again?"

Simmons drums his fingers on the turret, "...We can take her, we have the element of

surprise!"

Dount nods, " Yeah, but what about the other two?"

Simmons isn't paying attention, "Come on guys, let's get her! Let's show Sarge that the

new girl isn't better than us!"

"She kinda is though," Griff says.

"Shut up, and drive, Bitch!"

Argent crosses her arms as Caboose walks up. "Alright, you did good with the base, but

you'll want to go back to check it occasionally. For right now we need the tank all clean, that

way when they see us driving in it they'll be too awed by how shiny you've made it to shoot at

us."

Caboose picks up a rag," Okay, mean lady. She will look so shiny!"

Argent is taken aback, "Mean? Caboose, when was I…? Oh right, the hammer to the

crotch. Sorry about that."

Caboose nods. "Its fine...I felt almost nothing."

She snickers, and then hugs him. "There, all better now?"

"Very much yes." He hugs back.

"Dude how the hell did you get to second base before I did?!" Tucker says as he walks

back outside.

Argent laughs, and hugs Tucker too, "It's easy, just ask. I hug all my friends. My

philosophy in life is that every world could use a few extra hugs, and kisses."

Tucker smirks, " Kissing huh?"

She rolls her eyes, and takes off her helmet. She lifts his long enough to peck him on the

cheek, and then puts hers back on.

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

They jump, and turn to see the Warthog parked there, the gun aimed at them. Griff is

gobsmacked, "You mean _your _girl gives out affection like free candy, and ours treats us like

shit?! Simmons, remind me to complain to Sarge later, and see if we can trade."

Argent exclaims, "How did you sneak up on us without us hearing you?!"

Donut climbs back into the shotgun seat, out of breath, "They know we're here… please

turn on the engine… and say I can stop… pushing the jeep…"

Griff turns the key and the jeep roars to life.

"Hey, Simmons...FIRE THE DAMN GUN!"

Argent puts the end of her hammer to the gun as she looks the Warthog over, "Nice ride

fellas! 4-inch plating, 4-by-4 driving, and suspension… how's the radio work?"

Dount points to the button, "Its this one I believe..." He presses it, and the famous song

comes on.

Argent nods to the music, and pats the jeep on its side.

"If you guys want some extra songs I got an Ipod inside," she offers.

Dount perks, "Really?! Sweet!"

"Yeah, I think 'Bring me to Life' by Evanescence makes for some killer battle music. Wait

here please," she says, and runs into the base.

Griff looks at the others, "So… should we wait? I mean, we _are _about to get some free

music, and it's been a while since we heard anything besides that Mexican theme song Lopez

programmed into the radio."

Dount nods, "We are definitely waiting!"

Behind the base Winchester growls " What the hell are they doing?!"

"I saw one of them reach for the radio, they are probably waiting for her to come back with some music or something."

Inside Blue Base Argent runs up to Church, "Hey Church! The Reds are outside showing

off their jeep! You know where I put my luggage?"

Church sputters, "The Reds are outside?!"

"Yeah I was going to have Caboose clean the tank, and they just pulled up, the

showoffs. Anyhow I'm gonna swap some music with them, just thought I'd let you know in case

there was an attack. I got Tucker, and Caboose out there with them."

Church shakes his head, "That's not very reassuring."

"Oh relax, they're with the stupid Reds, and you've got Tex. What could happen?" She

runs off to her room.

" Yeah, she's right what could happen?" Winchester says from behind him, he turns just

in time to get a melee attack to the face. He falls to the ground unconscious. She grabs his legs

and drags him out of the base.

Sarge chuckles, "Great, now it looks like the base… is… our… or something." He

topples forwards, a pink crystal stabbed between his shoulder blades.

Lopez looks down, "Sarge?" A hand turns him around, and Argent puts a grenade in

his hand that smokes, and pulses.

She giggles, and whacks him with the hammer, sending him

flying as she faces Winchester.

Lopez tries to get rid of the grenade, but it's stuck to his hand somehow!

Griff looks up, "Did you hear an explosion?"

"Quiet," Simmons hisses. "I wanna see how this plays out!"

Donut has a buffer in his hands, and is using it on the tank, "Now I know soapy water

does a lot, but waxing is what gives it that special sheen. It'll be hard since the tank is constantly

getting dirty from being outside all the time, and you want it as clean as you can before you

start, but the results are well worth it!"

Caboose looks where Donut has already buffed. "OH MY GOD THE TANK HAS MY

FACE ON IT!"

Simmons shakes his head, "What is taking her so long?!"

Griff sighs, "Who knows?"

"Well you're helpful."

" I know, its part of my job description."

Off back with Argent, and Winchester, the two stare at each other for a while before

Argent throws her arms around Winchester.

"Hey there," she giggles. "Hope I wasn't too _rough _on you yesterday..."

Winchester pats her back awkwardly, "No, not at all."

Argent lets her go, and puts her hands on her hips. "Winryyy," she whines. "We've been

friends since we were born, and you _still _don't like my hugs?"

"No, its not that, it's place and time."

Argent puts a hand on her hip,"What's wrong with now? No one is here…" She looks around, and says. "Well Tex is here, just like Ace said she would be. I'm pretty sure she's occupied watching the idiots over yonder though."

"Yeah...By the way here's your leader." Winchester steps to the side so she can see Church on

the ground unconscious. "Sorry, I was ordered too."

"I don't mind. Oh!" She holds up two data cards. On each is half of a gold ring, and it

looks like they're made to fit together. She hands one to Winchester as she slips the other into

the port in the back of her helmet. "Daddy sent us these in my package."

Winchester takes it with a soft smile, and puts it in the data port in the back of her helmet.

"What are they?"

"Keys to a secure connection in case we have to get in touch pronto," she explains.

"Plus we can use them to call Daddy if we have to, but Ace says it's an absolute last resort."

Winchester nods, "Very well, meet me on the cliff tonight, we can talk more."

Argent nods, and with one last hug she drags Church back into the base.

"Finally!" Simmons throws up his hands as Argent comes out, waving her Ipod in the air.

She walks up to the Warthog, passing it to Griff.

"It's mostly Rock, but take a few minutes to look through what you want off it," she says.

Griff grins like a madman and plugs it in.

" This one...this one...oh! And that!"

Simmons scoffs, "And you said installing an ipod jack was a stupid idea!"

"Shut it Simmons."

Argent looks up at the sky, "It's about noon, why don't we all to lunch, say… one hour in

the middle of the canyon?"

Griff blinks, "Uh. I'm no-" he was interrupted by Dount

"Yes! Absolutely!"

"Great!" Argent waves, "You can return the Ipod to me then, I'll bring a grill if you bring

the drinks!"

"Okay!" Dount agrees.

Winchester stares in shock.

"Sir? The rest of your team just planned a damn dinner date with the Blues!"

Sarge looks surprised, "Why those… those…"

"Idiots?"

"_GENIUSES!"_

Lopez stares at him, "What?"

"It's so perfect," Sarge explains. "We can take out Blue Team in one fell stroke, all we

gotta do is poison 'em! Ha-ha! Why didn't I think of it sooner?"

Winchester crosses her arms, and turns her head away.

" We're surrounded by fucking idiots." She says to Lopez.

"Naw, you think?" His voice drips with sarcasm. Winchester smirks.

"Che include voi robot. That includes you, robot." She says in Italian.

He stares at her, "What? Did you just insult me?"

"No. Of course not."

"Good, because I haven't done anything to deserve it aside from having my arm blown

off." He holds up his missing shoulder after the grenade was done.

" Beh dovreste di schivato è you should've dodge it dumbass."

"If you're going to say something, say it in a language I can understand. I can't help it

because a certain idiot fried my Language Chip."

"Alright. Whatever you say."

"Figures," he mutters. "The one person I can actually talk to in this godforsaken

canyon has to be a heartless witch." He turns, and walks back to the base to start repairing

himself.

Sarge looks to Winchester, "What was all that about?"

"Not important."

"Good point," Sarge concedes. "Well I'm going to go help Lopez fix himself. While the

other yahoos put together the picnic I want you to search the base for anything poisonous."

"Yes Sir." She turns around and heads to the base.

At Blue Base Argent explains to Church what's happening.

"We're what?!" he exclaims.

"We're having lunch with the Reds," she repeats. "Just because we're trying to kill each

other doesn't mean we can't be civil every now, and then. After all, _we _aren't the ones who

started this pointless war."

Church sighs, "Alright well, whatever."

"YAY!" Argent throws her arms around Church, and hugs him.

"Yeah...okay, get off." He wiggles out of her grip.

Tex stands with her arms crossed, and her back pressed to the wall. She won't stop

looking at Argent, and Argent gets the feeling that it's not a pretty look she's giving.

Argent shrugs, "Tell you what Church, why don't I go with Tucker, and Caboose to wait

for the Reds while you back us up in the tank?"

"Sweet! Do I finally get to drive the damn thing?!" He bolts outside like a bullet.

Argent rolls her eyes, and rummages in her suitcase, "I hope Sarge will be there, I got

something for him…"

"What is it?" Tucker asks.

"Just a shotgun catalog, he seems to like that one he's always got. Is Church ready to

go?"

"Yes!" The sound of the tank roars to life outside.

They meet up with Caboose on the

outside, and start walking towards the center of the canyon.

Caboose clears his throat, "Um… yeeah, we might have a small problem."

Argent tilts her head, and Caboose continues, "I was cleaning the tank like you said, and

while I was doing that I noticed I was still wearing some grenades, and since Church told me not

to touch them I took them off, and put them with the rest."

"Okay… so what's the problem?"

"Well while I was putting them away I noticed one was missing, and I went to go look for

it in the tank where I thought it might have come out, and I found it under the seat…" Caboose

holds up a finger with a grenade ring hanging off of it.

"...Ah son of a bitch…"

BOOM!

Behind them the cockpit of the tank explodes, and catches fire.

" AH SON OF A BBBBIIITTTCH!" Church yells as he flies through the air and hits the

ground HARD.

Argent gawks, and then smack Caboose up the back of the head, "SERIOUSLY?! After

all we went through to make sure you DIDN'T kill him?!"

Caboose whimpers, "I'm sorry! I didn't mean too..."

Tucker bolts out, "What the hell was th- never mind..." He takes one look at Caboose,

and ducks back inside the base.

On the ground, Church groans. His armor is almost completely black with dirt and soot.

Tucker walks back outside with a stick and begins to pokes Church with it," Dude?...Are you

alive?"

Church raises a hand, and it drops back to the dirt. "Tucker… I don't think I'm gonna

make it… just in case… I have to tell you something…"

"What is it Church?"

"I… always… hated you most…"

Tuckers lowers his eyelids, and crosses his arms, "Yeah, I got that, now hurry up, and

die you prick."

"Okay… BLEGH!"

Argent walks up, and looks down at Church, "Oh for crap's sake…"

At Red base Griff is finally showing some work ethic by loading some food into the back

of the Warthog. "Hey Simmons, I got hotdogs, burgers, brats… am I forgetting anything?"

"The drinks."

"What drinks? We've been living off ketchup, and whatever else we could find for the last

few months."

"...True."

Donut says, "Don't we have any water?"

Griff shakes his head, "Nope, Sarge used the last of it to put out Lopez when he caught

fire."

"You do realize command send more food, and water when me and Dount arrived right,"

Winchester says as she walks up to them.

Dount blinks then thinks for a second. "Oh, yeah I remember now!"

Griff gets in the driver seat, "Great! So are you guys coming with us?"

" I guess." Winchester sighs and hops on the back on the jeep. Dount hops in the

passenger seat.

Simmons looks the jeep over, "Um… Where am I supposed to sit?" Winchester blinks

then hops down, she goes to the front and sits on top of Dount.

"There, you can have the back."

"Gee, thanks," Simmons says sincerely, and take the machine-gunner position. Griff

starts up the jeep, and turns on the radio as they start pulling out. When they get the the middle

of the canyon Winchester jumps out of the jeep, and looks around.

"It would appear that they're not here yet...obviously."

Donut points, "Hey look!" Off in the distance there's smoke rising. "I thought they said the

barbecue would be out here, why is it so close to their base?"

Simmons looks through the scope on his rifle, "Um… that's not a barbecue, not unless

they tried to make a grill out of their tank."

"Sounds like something Sarge would do," Griff mutters.

"Think we should check it out?" Dount says looking at the smoke, then back to his

teammates.

Griff nods, "Yeah, good idea. If something happened then that might mean no

barbecue."

"Aw...I was looking forward to it..." Dount says sadly. Winchester rolls her eyes and sits

on him again.

"Come on let's go."

The Warthog pulls up to Caboose running around the tank, "STOP BURNING!

NOTHING ELSE CATCH FIRE! I MEAN IT!" He tries to beat out the flames in the cockpit, but

ends up catching his arms on fire. "Oh great, now _I'M _burning! That's so much worse than other

things burning!"

Argent runs up to the Warthog as Caboose starts running in circles, "Hey guys, sorry for

the delay. We had a bit of a situation, and now Church is dead."

"OH GOD WHY DOES IT KEEP CHASING ME?!"

Argent turns, "Hey Tucker, found the fire extinguisher yet?"

"Tch! No! everything so damn unorganized around here!"

Caboose runs by, and Argent shouts, "Stop drop 'n roll Caboose!" He doesn't seem to

hear her so she sighs, and draws her hammer. She slams Caboose with it, sending him rolling

across the ground, putting out the fire.

"Alright, now I'm sorry about that guys. We'll be out in a bit." She nods to them as she

puts her hammer on her back again.

Dount nods, "Okie dokie!"

Argent spots a fire extinguisher in the cabin of the Warthog. "Can I borrow that real

fast?" Dount unclips it, and tosses it to her.

"Here you go!"

She takes it as Caboose trots back up to the Tank. "Okay," he says soothingly. "Let's try

this again, but with less fire on me this time."

Argent elbows him aside as she sprays the cockpit

with the extinguishing powder.

She tosses it back to Donut, "Thanks guys!" Dount nods with a smile,

"No problem!"

"Kay! TUCKER I PUT OUT THE FIRE! READY TO GO?"

"YES!" he runs out of the base and up to the others. " Really? You guys could of just

walked over here."

Argent shrugs, "Whatever. So you wanna set up here, or out in the canyon?" She looks

over to where Caboose is dragging a grill out of the base.

"Out in the canyon." Dount says.

"Canyon's fine." Simmons agrees.

"Okay, AND CABOOSE IF YOU MESS WITH ANY OF THE GRILL'S FUNCTIONS IN

ANY WAY I WILL KNOCK YOU BACK TO EARTH!"


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter Four**_

Argent giggles as she helps unload a cooler of beer from the Warthog. "How did you

guys get clearance for this stuff?"

Winchester waves, "You're welcome."

Argent takes off her helmet as she cracks open a beer, "We're gonna get fucked _up! _Hey

griff, want one?"

"Absolutely. " he slips off his helmet and sets it down. Argent passes him a fresh one like

a football.

Simmons calls, "Hey Tucker, how's the grill coming?"

"The damn thing is being a little bitch!" He growls.

Argent looks over, setting her beer down, "You talkn' to me?" She snorts, and giggles.

"No, but you do have your moments." he grins evilly.

She turns to Winchester, "I think he means you… can I has sugar…?" She droops

herself over Winchester with a laugh, proving that Argent seriously _not _hold her liquor.

Winchester sighs, "You've had ONE beer, and you're already on the high kite?" She

gently pushes her off, and sits back up. Argent tackles her to the ground this time, whimpering.

"Awwwz, pweeze? Tex isa meany, she no date meez!"

Caboose turns to Simmons, "I think our girl has lost her marbles."

" Probably." Simmons says. Winchester shoves her off and takes her helmet off, A long,

thick braid of red hair falls out, her bright green eyes blink a few times to adjust the hot sun. She

shakes her head a little to get strands of hair off her sweaty forehead.

Tucker stares, "Oh wow, please tell me _you're _straight…"

"I am, just not for you." She says with a bit of sass. Argent, now on the ground, and

trying to climb up Winchester by the armor on her hips, and humming tunelessly as she does.

Griff presses a button on the side of his helmet to record the moment, planning to post

this on Facebook at his first chance. Winchester sighs and shoves Argent away with a hand on

her face.

Tucker laughs, "Oh man what I would give for a video camera… Oh yeah, we know

Church is dead, but where's Sarge, and that mexican robot of yours? Aren't they coming?"

Simmons shrugs, "Who knows?"

"Seeexyyyy llaaaaadyyy!"

Tucker sighs, "Argent, we all know you're gay, and we're cool with it, but if you don't

leave their chick alone I'm guessing you're going to get hurt." Winchester sighs and reaches in

the back of the warthog and pulls out some rope and hides it behind her back.

" Ohhhhhh Argent!~"

Mmmmmm-hmmmm..?"

"Come here." She says seductively. Argent giggles, and clumsily gets to her feet,

stumbling over with her lips pursed for a kiss. Winchester grabs her wrist and spins her around

and ties her hands behind her back.

"Ooo! Kinky," Griff whoops. Winchester shoots him a glare and crosses her arms.

Argent leans back into Winchester,

"Kinkyyyyyy…"

"If you think that's kinky I have a pair of handcuffs back at the base." Winchester smirks.

"Oh please do," Griff groans.

"I might, how much are you willing to pay?"

Griff blinks, "...Wait, for real? If I pay you then you'll go all Dominatrix of this chick? Fuck,

you could have my next paycheck for that!"

"Yeah, of course!" Her voice is getting more, and more sarcastic as the conversation

goes on.

Griff stares at her, "...You're cruel." He turns to Tucker, "Hey since you're the Blue

Leader now can we trade Winchester for Argent?"

"Dude...That's actually a hard choice...A hot straight chick, or a lesbo chick that kisses

and hugs you if you ask."

Griff says, "Wanna put it to a coin toss?"

"Nah, we'll keep her, mainly to annoy Tex."

Winchester narrows her eyes, "Do we look like something you can just trade around like

pokamon?"

Caboose says, "Even I know it's Pokémon."

Griff says to Winchester, "You know, despite how lame that reference was, I think that

was the first sign of humanity you've ever shown us. Did it hurt?"

"I will kill you in your sleep," she growls.

"I knew there was a reason I liked you so much," Sarge says as he runs up with Lopez.

"The most important factor any member of the Red Army can have is that they absolutely hate

Griff!"

"Sarge, I know he's an openly lazy fucktard, but what's your beef with him? It's not like

much happens here anyways."

Sarge chuckles, "Heh, good one Lopez!" Winchester facepalms.

" Non posso credere che ti ho chiamare questo idjit Sir. I can't believe I have to call this

Idjit Sir." She grumbles.

Griff pipes up, "Sir, we were just discussing possibly trading Winchester for Argent."

"Wait…" Sarge stares at him, "You mean you want to trade our sniping expert… for a

hammer-happy in-your-face killer?"

Argent slurs from the ground, "Laaaadyyyy kiiiiillerrrr…"

Sarge nods thoughtfully to himself, "As much as I hate to admit it, I have to respect that

the smallest bit of a fraction." Winchester sighs and leans against the tire of the Warthog.

Caboose turns to Winchester, "I don't think you like them very much… or anyone for that

matter Ms. Mean-Lady. Why is that?"

"Because I actually take my job seriously."

"..." Caboose just stares at her blankly.

"Well at least someone around here does," Tex says as she walks over a hill. "I figured

since everyone was here there was no one to protect the base from. Might as well enjoy some

free food."

Caboose says, "I have an idea! ...We trade Chester… for Tex! That way we both still

have one mean lady on each team!"

"It's Winchester moron," she says and takes a drink of her beer.

Tex shrugs, "If Red Command is willing to pick up my paycheck then sure."

Sarge looks them over. "...I like the trade for Argent better, if we were going to trade at

all."

Argent looks up at Winchester, "I been say'n for years… if yer nice… peoples will like

you!"

Tex turns to Winchester, "Years?"

Winchester sighs, "She's drunk."

"Obviously."

Argent tries to stretch, but it's kind of hard with her hands tied. "Wiiiiinryyyyyyy…"

"I barely know her, I spent 8 hours in a ship with her though. That's it."

"Does anyone get the feeling that we're being watched…?" Caboose turns, and looks

around. "Wait, what was that?!"

Winchester puts her helmet on and stands, she looks all around narrows her eyes. She

sees something shimmering in the air headed for Blue Base. Winchester grabs her rifle and

heads for Blue base. Griff blinks,

"Where is she going?"

"Shit," Tex draws her pistol. "If I come back, and anybody who's here now is gone,

expect to wake up with a slit throat." She charges after Winchester.

Argent whines, "Awwz, they left me all tied up with the guys… that's mean!"

Winchester runs towards the shimmery thing with her rifle raised. She sees it turn a

corner into the base, out of sight. She follows and speeds up to catch it, she turns the corner.

"Where the hell is everybody," someone says, and she peeks in… spying a transparent

figure of the one they call Church.

She hears a click of a gun behind her. "Hands in the air," Tex says flatly.

"What the hell?!" Winchester blinks at the figure, "I thought you were dead!"

Tex bashes Winchester in the back of the head with her pistol, "I said hands in the air,

bitch! You honestly think I don't know a Freelancer when I see one in combat? No Red, or Blue

rookie has the skill to snipe me while I'm Cloaked."

Winchester turns around, "Congrats, you figured it out...Somewhat."

"You, and the Lesbo Bimbo out there didn't exactly make it hard," Tex states. "Now..."

Church steps around the corner, "What the-? There you are… wait, what's the Red

doing here?"

"Church, the Reds have the others out in the middle of the canyon," Tex tells him. "Go

see what you can do, I've got this one."

Church nods, and runs off through a wall. Tex stares Winchester down, "Now then, tell

me your Codename, and who you're working for!"

"Alaska. And what makes you think I'm working for someone? I was sent here to help.

With pay of course."

"Well someone has to be paying you," Tex says. "Now tell me who."

"Sorry, that's classified."

Tex looks over her shoulder as a pink crystal pierces it. Argent steps into the light,

hammer in one hand, and Needler in the other.

She giggles, "False drunk, gets them every time."

Tex jerks the crystal out, "You really are a bimbo, that won't work on me."

"

"Oh I know," she says, holstering her Needler. "Agent Tennessee, and all you need to

know Agent Texas is that we're on your side." Winchester nods and lowers her rifle.

Tex glances between them, "...You know, I think I actually believe you. If Alaska here is

anything like North Dakota was she would have taken my head when she had the chance." Tex

holsters her pistol, "So if you're on my side, why didn't you tell me?"

Argent shrugs, "Our leader, codenamed Ace, told us to keep you under surveillance.

We'll see about cluing you in on the plans from here on. On the radios I'm Ten, and Winchester

here is Queen."

"Cards? Seriously?"

"What, like codenames named after the states are any better?" Argent puts her hands on

her hips.

"We're meeting up on the cliff tonight, we can update you then." Winchester says

crossing her arms.

Tex nods, "Alright, I'll be there at 1600 hours."

Argent nods, "Synch!"

Tex stares at her, and then walks out of the base. Winchester turns to Argent, " How did

you get out of the rope?"

"Pfft, trust me, I know how to work knots. Dad was my Scout Leader, and you know what

that means…" Winchester blinks...then blinks again, before turning on her heel and walking out

of the base.

Argent follows her, "Oh come on, I was joking! Honestly sometimes I can't help but

wonder if you were made without a funny-bone…"

Later that evening Tex, and Argent are on night-watch. The others have already turned

in for the night, and at 1530 hours they nod. Then they jump off the base, headed for the cliffs.

Argent turns on her secure channel, "This is Ten logging in. I have Jacks with me. Ace,

Queen, King, you there?"

Another female voice responds, "This is Ace, I'm en route to the rendezvous point."

"This is Queen, I read you loud and clear, I'm on my way."

Tex mutters, "Jacks?"

"It's the only face-card left!"

"Then why isn't your codename Jacks?"

"Because Ten seemed like a clever play on Tennessee."

"Touché…"

Ten minutes later they are on the highest ridge in Blood Gulch. Argent, and Tex switch

on their helmet lights to scan the area for the others.

"Dad wasn't on the radio, so I guess he's busy," Argent says sadly.

"You tried too, huh?" Winchester walks up to them.

Argent sighs, "Oh come on, when was the last time we saw him?! Well… at least we get

to see mom tonight."

"I thought I told you to stop calling me that."

Tex freezes, "That voice… it can't be…"

A motorcycle, which have no clue why it's called that since it has 4 wheels, pulls up with

a single passenger in aqua armor. her visor is thin, and gold, almost like sunglasses as she

looks the group over.

"Hello Texas."

Tex looks stunned, "Carolina… how-?"

"Later," she says firmly. "So how's the mission going Winchester?"

"Excellent, there has been no casualties."

Argent rubs her neck, "Well… one on my side, kinda. Private Caboose has a habit of

team-killing it seems."

"And what would 'Kinda' mean? Is he dead or not?"

"Well… he killed Church… but he's still here. Looks like he was able to get into enough

relays to stay here. He probably thinks he's a ghost or something."

"Figures...Any other news I should know about?"

Tex steps up, "Okay, what the hell is going on here? Carolina, you wouldn't have eyes

on me unless it was for a very good reason."

Argent shifts uncomfortably, and twiddles her thumbs, "...Should we tell her?" Carolina

nods.

Argent sighs, "Well… basically you remember what happened after the Mother of

Invention crashed? Let's just say Maine didn't stop there, and it's only a matter of time before he

comes after you, and Omega."

Tex cracks her knuckles, "So I'm bait, is that it?"

Winchester shakes her head, "No of course not, we're here for backup, he's gotten ahold

oft a lot of high tech equipment."

Argent punches a fist into her hand, "But we've got a haymaker up our sleeve, so no

worries."

Carolina gives her a firm look, "Unfortunately the terms of said 'Haymaker' are that

only me, Ten, and Win know the details. Just know that if Maine shows up, or anything else

happens, you can trust these two."

Tex tilts her head, "Because you do?"

Carolina nods, and revs her vehicle, "That, and let's just say they have one hell of a

legacy to uphold."

With that she drives off into the night. Tex faces them, "Well if you two are Freelancers

then you have A.I. units, right? Maine will be coming for you too."

Argent shakes her head, "Nope, we couldn't risk using them before so we were never

equipped with them."

"But you still have gear, right?" Tex crosses her arms, "If Maine gets Church then he

won't need Fragments like the ones he took from Carolina. He'll have all the processing power

he'll ever need."

"Then let's make sure he doesn't succeed." Winchester says as she uncrosses her

arms, "We shouldn't have a problem if we work as a unit."

Argent nods, "Alright! Girl power! Winry, and I have some basic processors for our gear,

but they're only good for two, or three tries before they burn out. Hey… Maybe if we tell Church

what he really is then he can help one of us. And if something happens to Tex then she can

help the other!"

"I'm right here," Tex deadpans. "And you're starting to sound like those idiots down

below."

"No, let Church figure it out. We need to get him another body, because if by chance the

Meta does succeed, he can't forcefully take him. If Church is in a body he can't be taken unless

he wants to be."

"Okay… How about Lopez? Or you could talk Sarge into building a robot that looks like

Church, say it's a spy drone or something."

Winchester nods, "I will."

Tex nods, "Alright, then let's head back before they suspect anything. And for what it's

worth I suppose I've worked with worse soldiers."

Argent punches her arm, making a clanging sound, "You haven't seen us in a real battle

yet."

"Don't get cocky." Winchester says, and with that she turns on her heel and walks back

to Red base.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter Five**_

After the barbecue both sides decide to keep their battle going… or at least to pretend

to. Even Caboose _almost _understood that it's "better to fight the devil you know than the one

you don't" …After they'd had a long talk with him that convinced him they were not converting to

Satanism.

Lopez stands on Red Base with Winchester, both of them with sniper rifles.

"...Huh? Hey Winchester, I think I see someone headed for Blue Base."

"Where?" She looks to her right, "Never mind I see them." She zooms in on the figure.

"Purple armor? probably someone from Command. I'd… I mean you had better let

Sarge know, he still can't speak Spanish. Thanks again by the way for trying to teach him."

Winchester lowers her rifle, and walks inside the base, "Sir?"

Sarge looks up from his most recent project which involves turning a toaster into cleverly

disguised napalm bomb.

"Yes Private Winchester?"

"We have movement at blue base, someone in purple armor."

"Purple?" Sarge stands, "The color you get when you mix red with blue? You have _got _to

be kidding me… Take Donut, and Simmons in the Warthog to investigate. I'll have Lopez be on

lookout."

"Yes Sir." She walks out of the workshop and down the bunker rooms, "Simmons?

Dount?"

"Donut, for the last time we don't need wallpaper in the barracks! Oh hey Winchester,

what's up?" Simmons turns to face her.

"We have movement at blue base, someone in purple armour. Sarge wants us to go

investigate."

"Got it, I'll drive," Simmons says, and they run out to load up in the Warthog.

Argent sings to herself as she lies under the tank, cranking a ratchet as she tries to fix it.

"La la-la la-la! Imma fixn' a tank!"

Tex is working on wiring in the cockpit, "Yes… for the umpteenth time, you are."

"Doc walks up," Uh? Hello?"

Argent bangs her head on the bottom of the tank in surprise, and Tex looks over.

Doc look around awkwardly, " I was told to report to Blood Gulch alpha."

Argent slides out from under the tank, and rubs her forehead because she'd removed her helmet. "Well you're in the right place buddy…hey, you're a Medic aren't you? Got an ice pack I can borrow?"

Tex ignores Doc, and goes back to fixing the control terminal in the tank.

"Yeah, of cou-" he begins to say before being interrupted by Tucker.

"Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Frank DuFresne, I'm a medic."

"Yeah...Okay, but why are you _here?"_

Argent hops to her feet, and dusts off her behind. "I sent for a Medic in case we could fix Church's body. It's been a month now though so I doubt it. So Doc, what took you so long to get here?"

" Yeah. What did you do, crawl all the way here?" Tucker says rudely.

"No, it's just because command had a hard time finding a medic _to_ send. Now then, where's the patient? "

"Well he's about sixty-feet behind you, and six feet straight down."

Doc slowly turns around, "Oh..."

Argent sighs, "Well since Church is just a ghost haunting this place we should really look at promoting a leader. We all know Caboose couldn't lead a parade so he's out. Tex?"

"No," Tex says flatly. "Not interested, and anyways I'm a Freelancer. As soon as the forces here are balanced then I'm on my way to Command for my paycheck."

Which is utter bullcrap. Tex knows that her best bet is to stay with Winchester, and Argent. They'd purposefully neglected to inform Command that her objective was finished here so they could keep up the mission.

Argent looks up at Tucker, "Guess that just leaves you, and me Tuck!"

Tucker groans, "Can't we leave thing the way they are? I mean its not like anything _ever_ happens In this damn place!"

Tex pauses in her work, "...I think you spoke too soon. Medic, get in the base."

They all listen, and they can hear the sound of approaching Mexican music.

"Son of a bitch...RUN!" Tucker takes off running as does Doc.

"YEAH, SUCK IT BLUE!" Simmons yells happily as he fires at them. Argent covers them by holding up her Gravity hammer as they run, deflecting the bullets.

Tex flips a switch in the tank's console, and the Headlight comes to life. "Thank you for activating the M-80 Battle Tank," it says in a female voice. "You may call me Sheila."

Tex nods, "Sheila, we're under attack from the reds, take defensive measures."

"Affirmative… Firing main cannon."

BOOM!

The jeep is enveloped in a cloud of dust, before Griff drives out of it unharmed, "Ha! Miss bitches!"

Tex growls, and hops in the tank's cockpit. She'd programmed the Sheila's auto-defenses for non-lethal since they were fighting a fake battle to keep Command convinced, but if he was going to patronize her…

She took control of the main cannon, and locks on to the Warthog. "Sayonara, Bitch."

BOOM!

Griff pales then, grunts as Winchester jerks the wheel to the left, they drive behind a rock just as the canon fires. Although they weren't hit directly it still sent the Jeep skidding forward and out of control.

Tex chuckles to herself as she locks on again, and pulls the trigger.

..._click!_

"What the- out of ammo?!" She groans, and hops out of the tank, "Perfect, just perfect…"

Griff finally gets control of the Warthog again, and circles back around. "Whoo-hoo!"

Caboose, who, during all of this just stands in the middle humming to himself.

"CABOOSE GET OVER HERE YOU DUMBASS!" Tucker yells at him.

Argent charges out of the base, into the path of the Warthog. She raises her fists, and brings them down on the hood at the last second. It crumples under her blow like paper, and the rear of the assault-jeep goes skyward, throwing Simmons high into the air. Then the vehicle slams back down to earth, bouncing on its suspension.

She smiles, still not wearing her helmet, "Hey Griff, Winry, what's new?"

"Well what's going to be new is the front of this thing...But other than that not much," he shrugs.

"Alright, tell Lopez I'm sorry… Hey, where's Simmons?"

She looks behind her to where Tex is holding Simmons up by his chest-plate, and is repeatedly bashing him on the helmet with a large wrench.

"Oh there he is," Argent says casually.

Simmons wiggles in her grip, " Ow! * hit* stop it! *hit* *hit*."

Griff points and laughs. Winchester sighs and loads her sniper rifle, before turning towards the Blue base and aim at Tucker. He blinks and then pales, Winchester smirks before shooting him in the foot and arm.

"YOU STUPID BITCH!" He yell as he collapses to the ground clenching his foot.

"Talking to me again?" Argent shakes her head, "Doc it looks like you have a patient on the base!"

Doc looks over at Tucker, "Oh...Okay." he grabs Tucker and helps him inside the base.

"Guys? A little help?!" Simmons pleas.

Argent cups her hands around her mouth, "Tex! Down girl!"

Tex gently responds to this by taking her wrench, and nailing Argent with it in the forehead. Argent cries out in pain, and whimpers as she holds her forehead, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Tex drops Simmons, and starts striding towards the Warthog, "Alright Griff, now you get yours…"

Griff pales and hastily tries to start the Warthog." Come on, come on, come on!" Tex grabs him, and hauls him out of the driver seat. She punches an uppercut into his crotch, and then sends him flying with a kick in his nether regions. Griff makes a high pitched sound and hits the ground with a loud thud. "I hate you..." he huffs out while curling up.

Tex glances at Winchester, and then decides to ignore her presence as she goes back to fixing the tank. Argent still has one hand to her forehead as she sighs. "You guys need help pushing your jeep back to your base?"

Winchester sighs, "Nah, I'll get it started." She grabs her teammates and throws them in the jeep and backs up before taking a running start and kicks the Warthog down the hill. "I think that should give it enough momentum to make it back to base."

"Alright, well I'll go have a talk with Tex about being nice after I have Doc check me for Brain damage," Argent puts the cool back of her armored glove to her forehead. "I'm telling mom…"

Winchester shakes her head and pats her back, "Take care, I have to go." She walks away.

Argent waves after her, "Okay, and let me know if you hear from dad!" She heads into the base to see how the others are.

Caboose is watching Doc curiously, head tilted. Argent walks in, still rubbing her head. "Hey Doc, how about that ice pack?… has anyone _seen _Church lately?"

Caboose shakes his head, "Nope, not me, but then again he's gotten very good at hiding from me. I think he's afraid I'm going to kill him, or something silly like that."

"He's already dead, Nimrod," Argent groans. "Damn… Maybe that's why Tex is so high-strung. She can play the hard-ass all she wants, but she cares about Church, I can feel it in my gut."

"Weren't those two dating at one point?" Tucker asks.

"Exactly, that's how I know," Argent says. "You can never fully stop loving someone, be they friend, family, or ex-lover. When you open yourself up to someone like that they just… leave a piece of them self inside you."

"Bow chicka bow wow." Tucker says snorting.

"I could hurt you for that," she says seriously. "I was being totally sincere!"

Doc stares at Tucker, "You sure do know how to ruin a moment."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

Argent takes her hammer off her back, propping it against a wall, "I speak softly, but I carry _that _thing. Remember that Tucker."

She picks up her helmet, and starts polishing it as Caboose eyes her favorite weapon.

"Don't _even_ think about it," she snarls at him. "That was my first birthday gift from my daddy."

Caboose blinks, "But it's so pretty! And shiny!"

"Dude, I know by boundaries...Sometimes...You don't touch birthday gifts." Tucker says, leaning against the wall.

Caboose pouts like a puppy, "Okay."

Argent picks up the hammer, and hugs it. "I remember watching daddy beat a Covenant Elite to death with his bare hands so I could have it."

"Really? Awesome!" Church runs through a wall and stops when everyone looks at him. "What?"

"Where the hell have you been?!" Tucker yells at him.

Argent nods, and swings her hammer harmlessly through his insubstantial form. "Yeah! Tex goes nuts when you're not around, it's bad enough we have Caboose trying to kill everyone on our team!"

"Would you stop that?...it feels...weird..." He takes a few steps away from Argent." ...And what do you mean going nuts? What did she do?"

"She tries to brain Simmons, and I with a wrench," Argent replies. "Then she pretty much destroyed Griff's man-jewels! She probably would have shot Tucker if Winchester hadn't beat her to it." 

"And I missed it? Damnit!"

"So anyway, where were you?" Tucker questions.

"Well I was in the base's computer." Church turns to Tucker, "You should be ashamed of yourself for what I found on your computer."

"Hey, I didn't ask you to snoop around on my computer, that's on you."

Argent listens, and slowly puts on her helmet. "...Church, can I talk to you in private for a second?"

"Sure, I guess." he goes through the wall and into the next room. Argent follows behind him, and takes a deep breath.

"Hey… remember when you possessed Lopez last week so he'd install that air horn under the Warthog's driver seat?"

"Yes, why?"

"Well… You said you were in the computer… Do you think you could get inside my head, but leave me in control?" She reaches into the back of her helmet, and pulls a chip out. It's partially blackened, and smoking slightly. "I have this thing to help me run my equipment, but I'd rather save it for emergencies. If you can operate the equipment for me I'd really appreciate it… assuming you don't mind living in my noggin."

_Though I'd prefer having Tex in my head… Maybe later though. Church has to learn what he is for himself, but no one ever said i couldn't nudge him in the right direction. _

Church blinks then nods, "Sure...I guess, here goes nothing." he runs at her, and disappears inside her armor. She wiggles as she feels a strange spamming in her armor's shock-absorbing systems, the standard issue implant that can help a Spartan Soldier survive a grenade at close range. Then her helmet feels warmer, and she knows he's locked in. She's grateful that he can't read her mind, or memories still, she can just hear Carolina bawling her out for blowing her cover.

"Comfy?" She adopts an innocent tone of voice as she looks around for him.

"Yeah, actually. It's really roomy in here!" Church says happily

"Hey," she says, slightly offended. "What do you mean it's roomy in my head?!"

"W-well I did mean your head...I'm not in you head am I?"

"Kinda," she says as she starts walking out of the base. "Daddy explained it to me like this. Mjolnir armor that we Spartan Soldiers wear is connected to the brain so our actions are more based on thought than actual movement. For some equipment we can upgrade our armor with is too complex for the average mind. If one has the determination then they can learn to utilize this equipment, but in cases like mine we need some kind of processing program. Some higher-ranking soldiers like the Freelancers use A.I. units, like Tex does for her invisibility."

"Oh I see, so like to use invisibility and other things you need a A.I.? Does that mean that one chick on Red team has one too?"

"Winry?" Argent shakes her head, "Nah, she, and I have basic processors to use our equipment, but they're seriously outdated. They burn out after two or three tries. Luckily you can possess computers, and it looks like you've nestled yourself in my A.I. slot. Now I can use you like an A.I. unit. Maybe if we get another ghost then Winry can have one too. No offense, but I'm hoping Tex gets to be a ghost, and then you can be in Winry's head. I have a feeling that I'd be better off having Tex in my head than she would."

"But we're on different teams. Why the hell would I go to her? She's almost as bad as Tex!"

"Almost, but not quite," Argent agrees. "Plus Winry, and I have a history together, I trust her. Notice how she's never taken a kill-shot at me, or anyone on our team? She knows how I am about my friends. Hell, we'd be sisters I'd bet if she wasn't so damn stubborn about just being friends… I don't think she likes having people close to her for some reason."

"Gee, why don't you go knock on her door and ask?"Church says sarcastically while rolling his eyes.

"Actually now that I have you in my head I can. You see that file in my helmet labeled "Juggz"? Open that would you?"

Suddenly the inside of her helmet is filled with lesbian porn.

"Okay, wrong file!" Her cheeks flame as she squeezes her eyes shut in embarrassment, "I meant the one labeled "Juggerz"! I'm sorry!"

Church sits there for a good twenty seconds before shaking himself,

"U-uh yeah! Opened!"

The pictures, and videos vanish, and her suit vibrates a bit as it whirs to life. She sighs, and smiles, "Thanks for not giving me grief on that file Church, I appreciate it."

"No problem, just glad Tucker wasn't here."

"Cool, now watch this…" She trots over a hill to where Tex is still fixing the tank. "Church, I need you to trust me okay? No matter what I need you to stay right where you are, and keep that program running."

"Yeah, alright." he crosses his arms.

Argent pulls one of her Needlers off her hip, and shoots a crystal right into Tex's ass. She jerks, jumping, and whirling to see Argent waving at her. Tex yanks the pink spike out before jumping in the tank cockpit, turning the cannon towards them.

Argent plants her feet, and crosses her arms. "Ooooh, this is going to be fun. If only we could see her face…"

"Do you have a damn death wish?!" Church yells at her.

"Just watch, and stay put," she says, and Tex fires the tank. The shell hits Argent square in the visor, and envelopes her in smoke… when it clears she's not even moved an inch.

Argent thumps a fist to her chest, "Awesome! The Juggernaut upgrade works! Perfect invulnerability."

"Don't ever do that again!" Church hyperventilates and disappears back into her helmet.

"Church, we just got shot in the face with a fucking tank, and we're not even bruised. Can't you take a minute to reflect how awesome that is? Tex can come after us all she wants, but as soon as she touches us she's as weak as a kitten. Her punches might as well be feathers to us!"

"Still...The thought kinda scares me..."

"Right, ex-girlfriend... How about I promise not to do that without letting you in on all the details first?"

"Deal."

She giggles to herself, and heads back into the hills. So far so good…


	6. Chapter 6

_**Chapter Six**_

"...I think I'm due for a tune-up Winchester. I could have sworn I saw Tex shoot Argent with the tank, but she's unharmed." Winchester stops for a moment, then narrows her eyes.

" Yes, I suppose you are. I could do it, that is if you don't mind a girl working on you." She says.

_Next time mother sees Argent she's going to be so pissed..._

"Given the choice between you, and Sarge I'd rather have you in my wiring. Thank you." Lopez puts his sniper rifle on his back. Winchester nods and turns around,

"I'll be back with the tools." She runs in the base, and into the workshop. Sarge glances up at her, and then goes back to building his chainsaw-launcher. Winchester blinks, then shakes her head before walking past him and getting the necessary tools.

" Sir, where the hell are you going to get all the chainsaws at?"

"I'll build them of course," he says obviously. "I learned how to do that when I was a child…" He sighs with a nostalgic look. Winchester sighs,

" Of course...Why would I expect any different? " She grabs a wrench and screwdriver, "Why do you build half this stuff if you never use It? It seems like a waste to me."

"In case we _do _need it of course," she says simply. "Who knows? Maybe someday we'll be forced to fight these Blues in deep forest terrain. Then this Chainsaw Launcher will help us cut our way through to them in record time… and possibly fuck them up… and Griff if we're lucky."

"Highly unlikely. But whatever." She picks out a couple more tools and walks out, she gets back to the top of the base, and looks around, "Lopez?"

Off to the side Griff states at the gray freelancer, " Is it just me or is Lopez and Win _always_ together?"

Simmons turns to him, "Why is that surprising? She's the only one here he can talk to."

"Well yeah...But it's still kinda creepy. She doesn't have to talk to him twenty-four seven!"

Simmons looks dejectedly at the busted jeep, "Well considering…"

"Hey man, that was _not_ my fault."

"It kinda was though!" Winchester yells at him from the other side of the base while she works inside a panel on Lopezs back.

"Nobody asked you!" Griff yells back.

"Well I answered anyway! So sue me!"

Simmons sighs, "Well, back to what I was saying… you, and I are pretty obsolete. I mean I don't expect you to feel to bad about since you never do anything anyways, but me… ever since I got demoted, what have I accomplished? If anything my only role on this team is the gunner position on this jeep I can't even fix! Even Sarge does stuff!"

"Tell me about it! I know I barely do anything, but I feel I do even less now!"

"I don't even know if that's possible," Simmons mutters. "But you see my point. Why are we even here, these three can take care of themselves… what are we good for?"

"Sitting around like a bag of potatoes is about it anymore." Griff sighs, then coughs heavily.

Simmons looks down, and then looks up at Griff, "Think they'd even notice if we just left?"

"Probably not." Griff looks up at the pair on the other side and blinks when he doesn't see Winchester over there. He turns to Simmons, then jumps when he sees her there.

"Do you guys really have that low of a opinion of yourselves on this team?"

Simmons turns to her, and says bitterly, "Well I didn't, not until _you _showed up. I had it made, I was Sarge's favorite, the one he could rely on when Griff was being Griff. Now he's got you doing everything I used to."

"I don't mean to be a complete bitch to you guys, its just the way I am. And if it makes you feel any better I think this team would fall apart if it wasn't for you guys. Simmons, you the only one here who knows how to aim with the turret. Griff, you're the only one who knows how to drive a jeep!"

_Damn, I never thought I could lie so much to someone...This team would be perfectly fine without them!_

They glance at each other, and Simmons says to Winchester, "Look, we're not total idiots so we know you're totally blowing smoke… but thanks for trying anyways. And for what it's worth I don't think you're a complete bitch. I think you just need to relax sometimes."

Winchester blinks in surprize before taking off her helmet and nods, "Thank you." She puts an arm around him in an awkward some-what kind of hug. Simmons coughs, and looks away, not having much girl experience.

"Uh… you're welcome… Hey, maybe you can translate Lopez for me so I can learn how to fix the Jeep?"

"Yes, of course." She waves a hands for him to follow and begins to walk away.

Griff stares in shock, "What the hell just happened?"

Winchester stops and looks over her shoulder and winks at him. Giff stutters.

"There's no way that's Winchester. .." he mumbles to himself.

Simmons shrugs, "You know… I don't think we ever gave her a fair chance. I mean, you can't say you haven't felt like she was treading on our turf ever since she, and Donut… Wait, where _is _Donut?" He looks around.

Griff looks around, "Ya know? I kinda have to agree with you on that one...And how should I know? I don't keep tabs on him."

"Oh man… hold on, what am I worried about? We're in the middle of a boxed canyon, and our only enemies had over for a pot-luck for crying out loud! He probably just got lost looking for the store, he'll be back eventually."

"Guess you're right. Oh well." Griff shrugs. "Well I'm hungry, have fun with Winchester...just not to much fun." he snickers as he walks away.

"Oh you're just jealous," Simmons scoffs, and jogs to go follow Winchester into the base.

"Yeah, maybe a little!" Griff yells back. Winchester rolls her eyes.

"So where would you like to start?"

"Well since I don't know much about mechanics could we start at the basics?"

"Well, this is called the filter." She points to a ziggy-circle thing. "This is the oil filter, it keeps sediment out of the oil. And cleans it."

Simmons nods, and actually takes out a notepad to take notes…

An hour later Simmons slides out from a newly repaired jeep. "Okay Griff, fire it up!"

Griff presses the clutch down and turns the engine roars to life. Simmons stands, and backs

up beside Winchester, "So far no smoke, fire, or explosions… I call that progress."

"Excellent work. Want to take it for a test drive?"

"Sure," Simmons says, and hops in the gunner position. "Coming with Win?"

" Yeah." She walk around the jeep and hops in the passenger seat. Griff slams on the gas and the jeep jumps forward.

"Woo-hoo!" He drives around the base a few times before heading out in the canyon.

Simmons whoops, "Yeah, this is awesome! Great to have you onboard Win!"

Winchester nods, "Thank you Simmons."

Griff laughs, "Oh great! Now you're going to start kissing _her _ass?!" Simmons clears his throat, and doesn't reply. Griff laughs even harder as Winchester crosses her arms and looks away shaking her head. Griff does a sharp turn the the left then right.

Simmons clears his throat again, "You know Win, it's very important for every member of Red Army to hate Griff so if we were to have an accident, and Griff didn't come back… I'm just saying, it'd be worth fixing the jeep again."

Winchester smirks, "Tempting, very tempting. .." she gives Griff a evil look. Simmons tries to point the turret at Griff, but sadly the mounting isn't that flexible.

Griff looks at them, "Oh get off my case, I was just having a little fun. You two wouldn't be so pissed if it wasn't true."

"It isn't true."

"Are you kidding? Simmons was totally kissing your ass just now," Girff says.

Simmons glares at him, "Griff, now i see why Sarge hates you, you ruin everything!"

Grif stops the jeep, and turns in the seat to glare right back at him. "Oh sure, just a little while ago you were ready to flee the base with me, but now that something with tits touched you you're all loyal again. Now offense Win, it's _this _guy that's pissing me off."

"You guys were really going to leave?"

Simmons looks down, "Well… I was just feeling… in the way, useless. But now I have a way to contribute to the team unlike this lazy fuck."

"Up yours, Dipshit," Griff retorts.

"That's enough you two." Winchester has her usual snappy tone, "We're a team, act like it."

Simmons sighs, and nods. "Right, okay… but how are we going to get griff to do anything? His daily exercise consists of walking from his room to the breakfast, lunch, and dinner table."

"I have a few." She smirks evilly, "But later though."

Griff groans, and presses his head to the steering wheel. Then he gets out of the jeep, "Have fun driving home."

"Okay." Winchester hops in the drivers seat and pats the passenger seat, "Simmons you're up front."

"Um… you sure? I mean, what if we need the turret? This thing never runs out of ammo."

"Guess you're right." She presses the pedal, and the jeep flies forward.

"WOAH! Okay I changed my mind! Let me up front!" Simmons panics as he struggles to hold on to the turret. "Remind me to put a security harness on this thing or something when we get home."

" Alright." Winchester nods and circles around Griff, before speeding back to the base.

Griff sighs, and starts walking down the canyon towards Blue Base, rifle on his back. "Maybe they'll be willing to trade after all..."

Winchester puts the jeep in park and hops out. "You did excellent on the jeep Simmons."

"Thanks Win!" he hops off too. "Hey, if you don't mind me asking, what was with the mean attitude at first? I mean, we hadn't done anything to insult you yet then."

"Its just the way I am. It's how I was trained." Winchester looks away slightly, " And I have my reason also."

"Okay," Simmons says. "Well, i won't pry, but you know you can trust us right? I mean, I get the impression you could take us all on at once if we came at you… which is pretty sad now that I said it out loud…" Winchester smirks,

"Yeah, probably...You I haven't worked on by hand-to hand combat in a while. Do you guys have a training room?"

"Not really," Simmons replies. "Unless the space behind the base counts. I don't know if you've noticed, probably have, but there's not much room inside."

"I guess it'll do." She sighs.

"Why? Wait… you mean you're going to spar with me?!"

"If you want, I'll go easy, that is if you like it rough." She smirks.

Simmons sputters, and drops his rifle in surprise. He scrambles to pick it up, "I-I-I… Oh Christ…"

Winchester chuckles lightly, "I was kidding calm down."

He puts a hand to his chest, "Okay… um… I'd rather not if it's all the same to you. I don't mean any offense, but I just don't feel right even making a fist at a girl."

"Alright then, I'll talk Sarge into it." She turns and heads back down to the workshop. "Sarge?"

"Yeah?" He doesn't look up from his last modifications on the Chainsaw launcher.

"I need someone to spar with, would you be willing to do so?"

"Um… Did you ask Griff? I'm sure Lopez wouldn't mind."

"Griff is gone, and Lopez is upgrading right now. And I already asked Simmons."

Sarge looks up, "Griff is gone? Where in the same-hell did he go? Wait, did you kill him?"

"No...He, and Simmons got into a argument, and Griff was going to walk back to the base. Although he should be back by now."

Sarge stands, "Those diabolical… I knew I couldn't trust that Argent girl, but I had hoped… They took Griff! And as much as I'd like to let them keep him, we can't afford to have out numbers here outmatched." Sarge turns on his radio, "Lopez, Simmons, saddle up. We're going to storm Blue Base!"

"Yeah, um… no. They finally fixed that tank, and I'm not keen on fixing the jeep again, or myself."

Simmons says, "I don't know if that's a good idea Sir. They have that tank after all, and they had the cannon on it online the last time we tried that."

Sarge nods, "Good point… Stealth Operation it is then! Everyone meet up behind the base to discuss rescuing Griff."

"Is this asshole serious?"

"Apparently so." Winchester sighs."Sir I could just go, getting the idiot back isn't a problem."

"Sorry Winchester, but as much as I value your input we need to show these Blues we mean business." He loads his shotgun, and stocks up on extra rounds, "No one, not even Griff, can be counted as expendable when numbers decide the winning factor. We need to make sure they know that when we surround them by leaping from the shadows, and lam a gun in every one of their faces!"

" Very well." She shakes her head and loads her sniper rifle and pistols.

Dount runs in the room, "Hey guys!...What are you doing?"

"Where the hell have you been," Sarge demands.

"I was cleaning our rooms! A clean base is a nice base!"

"And before today I'd say any base without Griff is a good base," Sarge retorts. "Now you stay to watch the base. The rest of us are going to attack Blue Base to get out missing man back!"

Griff groans as he trudges up to Blue base, "Hello? Is anyone here?"

"Goddamnit Red give it a rest!" Tucker yells and trudges out." What the fuck do you want?!"

Griff drops his gun on the ground, "Hey I know it's kinda sudden, but… is it too late to join Blue Army?"

Tucker stares at him, "Uh...What? Is this a trick?!"

"No man," Griff replies. "I am being straight-up honest here. Everyone on Red Army wants me dead, even Simmons, and Win do. The way i figure it you'd either let me join so I'd only have to watch my back for Caboose, or you'd just put me out of my misery, at this point I don't even care anymore."

Argent squats at the edge of the Blue base roof, "He sounds suicidal to me, eh Church?"

"A little bit yeah." Church agrees.

Tucker looks up at Argent, "What do you think?"

Argent glances at the little Church on her shoulder, and says, "Maybe we can trade Caboose out? I'd bet that Sarge will be coming at some point to keep the armies even."

Tucker shrugs, "Fine whatever. Anything to get rid of Caboose. Welcome to Blue Team! Hey, Caboose get over here!"

Caboose runs over, "You might want to watch your step in the hall on the left, I just waxed it."

"Yeah, whatever. Your now on Red team."

Caboose stares at him, "No, I'm Blue."

Griff walks up, "Wanna trade armor then? Then you can be Red. Trust me, Red Team is a LOT of fun."

"But, I'm Blue, _your_ Red."

Griff shrugs, "Not anymore I'm not. C'mon!" He jogs inside the base.

Caboose follows slowly, and turns to Tucker, "Take care of my Sheila."

Argent glances over to where Tex is fixing the treads on the tank. "Uh-oh… Church, you thinking what I'm thinking?"

" Uh-huh..." he nods.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Chapter Seven**_

Winchester sighs, "So basically we're just going to charge in there, and point a gun a their faces and get Griff back?" She raises an eyebrow and glances at the rest of the team.

Sarge nods, "Basically, but we have to sneak in all… sneaky."

"Yeah, this has smart written _all_ over it..." She says sarcastically, and puts her rifle on her back.

Sarge chuckles, "I'm glad you think so. So now we gotta split into teams. Simmons you'll go with me. Winchester go around the other side with Lopez, try to see if you can get that tank back offline."

"It's amazing what he can ignore, or make up when he doesn't feel like listening," Lopez confides to Winchester.

Sarge sighs, "I'm starting to wonder why we're even doing this… good soldiers are all around me, planning tactics as soon as orders are given. I salute you Amigo, and in the case that you don't come back, I swear each, and every one of us will be honored daily back at base once this is over."

"See?"

Winchester shakes her head, "Quit being so dramatic. The mission is simple." She says and shoves past them. "Come on Lopez." She takes her rifle off her back and takes off running towards Blue base. Lopez runs after her as they take their assigned side of the base.

"Figures he'd give us the hard side, Tex is on this side."

"She won't be a problem." she says and stops behind a rock to look through the scope on her sniper rifle. " Okay. I'll take the front you take the back." She creeps her way to the front of the tank. Lopez moves in sync with her, moving quietly so Tex can't hear them over the sound of her ratchet.

Tex nods, "Alright Sheila, try to move now."

Winchester crouches in front of the tank and peeks around the corner.

"Affirmative," Sheila says, and moves backwards.

"Madre de Dojos!"

Tex jumps, "What the…?" She spots Lopez's hand under Sheila's tread, and turns to see Winchester. "What are you doing here?"

Winchester sighs, "To get Griff back." She says simply, "Have you seen him?"

"Well the others were talking about letting him join the Blues in exchange for sending Caboose to the Reds."

"Oh, hell no." Winchester growls to herself, "Thank you," she walks to Lopez, "Sheila, can you move up please?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," Sheila says, rolling forward. Most of Lopez is damaged except his head.

"You're kidding, right?! I just got a tune-up!"

Winchester picks up his head," And now you need a new body...Oh well, we can worry about that later." She tucks his head under her arm and walks inside the base, "Griff!?"

Griff walks over in Caboose's armor, "Huh? What the hell are you doing here?" He levels his rifle at her.

Winchester narrows her eyes, "I'm here for you. Why else would I be here?"

"Oh great, you guys came here to kill me, didn't you? Well it's technically not desertion because you guy are still getting a guy to replace me." He snorts, "Like you care anyways."

"No, I didn't come here to kill you, I came here to get my team mate back. And I do care."

"Bullshit," Griff says. "You, Simmons, and especially Sarge want me dead. Hell I bet even Lopez wants me dead!"

"He's not wrong. Maybe we just take the trade? Donut, and Caboose could keep each other occupied for hours."

Winchester ignores him, "What makes you think _I _want you dead?! Yeah, I may torture you guys, but that's how I show I care." She puts her rifle on her back and crosses her arms.

"Yeah? Well it sucks!" Griff shoots the ground between her legs, "I'm sick of you! I'm sick of Sarge! I'm sick of Simmons! Hell, the only reason I joined the goddamn army was to kill some aliens, but no! Because of fucking Master Chief I'm stuck here with _you losers!"_

"...Wow…"

Winchester suddenly grips the end of his rifle and crushes it in her fist, "If anyone's the loser it's you. I came over here to clear things up between us and to say sorry! And you know what? I'm not sorry!" She kicks him against the wall leaving a dent.

"OOF!" He slides to the ground, and stares at his rifle, "...That's why I can't stand you. You gotta scare people into doing what you want, and there's not one thing you can say that will convince me you _ever _cared." He stands, and turns his back to her, "So just leave already."

"Humph." She turns and picks up Lopez's head and stomps out of the base.

Tucker munches popcorn from where he was watching. "Dude that was awesome."

Griff sighs in relief, "Wow, I'm really glad I got that off my chest back there."

Argent glances at him, and then jogs out after Winchester. Winchester strides back to base at a steady pace, and clenches her fists.

"Winry," Argent calls as she runs up. "Hey, it's okay, it's just stupid Griff! They don't know you like I do."

Winchester stops and turns to face her. "You told me to try and be a bit nicer, and I did. I tried to go and apologize," she scoffs. "And looked what happened!"

"Yeah, a stupid man let his pride, and ego get in the way of seeing that you were sincere," Argent says, pulling Winchester into a gentle, almost sisterly, hug. "Like I said, they just don't know you. Don't let him get under your skin Winry, we still have a mission." Winchester sighs and hugs her back,

" You're right, I just need to calm my nerves. Bye the bye, the reason I kicked him against the wall is because he was talking about dad."

Argent giggles as she lets her go, "I kinda… figured… ah shit." She face palms, "Church, you heard every word of that, didn't you?"

"Heard what? I was trying to figure out how you got all the porn in here," he says shrugging as he appears next to them.

"Nevermind," Argent replies. "And I have a subscription to most lesbian porn sites, premium membership comes with free downloads for only fifty bucks a month."

Winchester clears her throat, "Guys, I'm right here. Please stop talking about porn."

"Why?" Argent turns to her, "It's just a fact of life Winry. I'm no pervert, but everyone watches porn, and everyone masturbates. It's just natural, no need to be shy about it."

Winchester shrugs, "I don't."

Argent turns to Church, "You buying that?"

"...No comment."

"Oh my god, seriously you two? Church I get since he's dead, but how can you have absolutely no sex drive Winry?! I need to talk to Tucker about giving you an intervention… Wait a minute, Tucker? Didn't you say to Griff that the Reds were attacking the base?"

"We're weren't attacking, we're just here to recues Griff...and well, you see how that turned out." Winchester says.

Tucker speaks up on the radio, "I don't know where they are now...I don't know how they _ couldn't _ have heard you guys arguing."

"We're right here!" Sarge walks up with Simmons, and Caboose. Tex trails along behind them, gun leveled at their backs. "You see, Blue Team has been very persuasive in making this trade. As of today Private Caboose is now on Red Army, and griff's lazy dumbass is a Blue. Ready to go Winchester? Hey, what happened to Lopez?"

"Oh be still my oil circulation system," Lopez says sarcastically. "He really does care."

He got ran over by the tank." Winchester says and holds up his head," This was the only part not damaged."

"I see," Sarge says nodding. "Don't worry Lopez, we should have enough spare parts back at the base to fix you up. Well Reds, let's move out!"

Tex joins Argent as they watch the Reds trudge back towards their base. She chuckles, "Hey Church, I think you're going to like what comes next. I asked Sheila to send the Reds a little present…"

"Firing main cannon," Sheila says from the base.

BOOM!

The shell flies… right into Tex, sending her skywards, "AGH! SON OF A BITCH!"

Church looks up and watches her body fall to the ground, "Yeah, it hurts, doesn't it?!"

Argent turns to Church, "Why are you rubbing it in? I thought it was Caboose that killed you."

"Because, she kept patronizing me about it."

"Touché… Wait, does this mean I can have Tex in my head now?!" She squeals in delight. Church face palms.

Caboose groans, putting a hand to his head as they approach Red base.

"What's wrong with you?" Simmons asks, looking at him over his shoulder.

"I don't know," Caboose replies. "I have a headache…"

Sarge snorts, "How can a headache have a headache?"

Caboose looks up at him, "That is a very good question…" Then his voice gets deeper, more threatening, _"Sleep with one eye open tonight if you value your life…" _

Simmons stares at him, "Okay...uh, What the hell?"

Caboose looks at him, "What?"

" N-nothing! " he says quickly and walks a little faster.

"_Yes you had better run," _Caboose growls. Then in a normal voice he says, "It's food time! We'd better see what the Reds have for lunch."

"Oreos, and Asparagus, is about it." Simmons grumbles as they reach the base. Donut waves at them from up top.

"Hey guys! Welcome back! How'd it go?"

"Donut, we got you a new friend," Sarge yells back. "You, and Private Caboose here are new best friends!"

"Oh man I love making new friends!" Caboose runs into the base.

"Okay Win, what the hell is wrong with Caboose? He always seemed supernaturally stupid, but never aggressive to me."

"Your guess is as good as mine...Maybe we should scan him or something."

"How?"

"Oh you have got to be kidding me," Tex mumbles as her transparent form appears nearby.

Winchester turns and takes her helmet off, "Tex? What the hell happened to you?"

"Well I was going to have Sheila shoot Caboose as you guys were walking away, but somehow she got me instead," she groans.

"That's strange...Need a place to stay? She taps her helmet as she hands Lopez to Sarge. Sarge jogs off to repair Lopez, much to the robot's protests, as Tex puts a hand on Winchester's helmet before vanishing. Winchester puts her helmet back on. "So? Comfortable?"

"Actually… yeah, it's surprisingly cozy in here," Tex replies as she appears in the air beside Winchester.

"Good, I want to try something. Do you see a file named I.T.?"

"Just a sec… okay, here it is."

"Excellent, open it."

"Wait, what's this going to do?" Tex turns her head towards her. They share a flat stare, and Tex sighs, "Fine, whatever..." Winchester's armor feels a bit warmer as Tex opens the file.

"Program the location of the top of the base, please."

"Alright, since you asked nicely-WOAH!"

Tex vanishes as Winchester dissolves into thin air. Then from the head down she reforms on top of the base, Tex appearing beside her.

"Okay… that was actually kinda impressive," Tex tells her.

"Thank you, but couldn't of done it without you." She says sincerely.

"I bet not, without an A.I. unit you could've just been random pieces scattered who-knows-where," Tex says. "But given you're a sniper I think this equipment suits you. I can also think of a few ways to use it in a fist-fight."

"Well this is only my second time using this equipment, I'll need more practice before I do anything too big."

"No time like the present," Tex says. "Setting Coordinates for Blue Base."

…

Griff walks up to Tucker, "Hey man, I think something's wrong with Argent."

"Why would you think that? So seems f-i-n-e ." he purrs then blinks at him." That spells fine by the way."

"I know man, I'm lazy, not stupid like Caboose." Griff jerks a thumb over his shoulder, "Anyways, I'm saying that because I think she's moping out by the tank. Does she usually mope? She seems a bit too chipper for that in my opinion."

Tucker shrugs, "Go talk to her or something...I'm not in feeling and stuff."

"Pfft, neither am I, that's what we had Donut for back at Red Base." Griff shrugs, "Only reason I'm concerned at all is because she's the best fighter here, right? What if we need her?"

"I'm sure she'll bounce back, probably PMSing or something."

"Good point," Griff says. "I'm not going near that."

"Good move dude. Bye the way, what the hell made you come over here in the first place? I mean besides all the yelling."

"Mostly how I was the target of them wanting to kill someone," Griff replies. "This way if they start targeting Caboose, or Donut… no real loss there, y'know?"

"Good point." Tucker shrugs..

Outside Argent sits on Sheila's tread with her legs tucked to her chest, and sighs. Winchester walks up to her and sits beside her, "Hey."

"Hey," she replies half-heartedly.

"What's wrong." Its not a question.

"...How long have we been in the army?"

" ...Practically all our lives."

"And in all that time we've hardly even heard from dad," she says, sounding on the edge of tears. "We've given our everything to the military, and to put icing on the cake the first girl I can date in years dies on me in just a few days. "Tex doesn't want anything to do with me, you've always been my sister-like best friend so dating you would just be weird, and the only thing remotely female left in this canyon is Sheila." She pats the tank fondly, "No offense Sheila, but I don't see how it could work between us."

"Affirmative."

Winchester puts an arm around her and sighs, "I know I might not be the friend you want, but, I'm sure as hell am the friend you need. I'll always be there, remember that. "

Argent nods, "I know Winry… and I do want you as a friend, sometimes I don't know what I'd do without you."

A moment of silence, and then Tex appears, "Alright, I give up. Fine."

Winchester blinks, "What?"

"I'm standing firm on that I don't date, but I don't see why I can't keep her company. "Come on Church, let's swap… Church?"

Argent taps her helmet, "Church, are you going through my private folder again?"

Church appears looking back and forth between them, "What?! Pff! No!"

"If you want you can make a copy to take with you," Argent says, brightening up a bit.

"Nah, I was just looking at how old you were."

Winchester raises an eyebrow, "Why?"

" ...No reason."

Argent rolls her eyes, "He asked how old I was, and I told him it wasn't polite to ask a lady that."

"Take a hint," Tex says, walking over to Argent's helmet. "Now move before I move you."

"Alright, alright!" He huffs and disappears into Winchesters helmet, "Damn! There's no porn in here!" Winchester sighs and shakes her head.

Argent giggles, "I told you to make a copy of my collection. Tex, feel free to have a look whenever you want."

"Okay," she says casually.

Church stares at her, "Uh...Nevermind."

Tex looks at him, "What? We're all adults here so act like one."

"I am. That's why I didn't say anything!"

"You said nevermind," Argent points out. "You want a copy or not?"

"Maybe."

Winchester narrows her eyes, "No, because then you'll have to store it in my helmet."

"Just label it something so she knows what it is," Argent suggests. "I don't see it in my visor whenever Church takes a peek."

"Fine, whatever." She sighs and crosses her flickers for a moment and nods, "Done."

"Fantastic," Winchester says sarcastically.

Argent giggles, and hugs her, "I know I may not be the friend you want, but I'm always here for you. You know that, right?"

Winchester hugs back with a small smile, "I know."

Griff pokes his head out of the base, "Looks like the storm has passed."

Winchester looks up as does looks around the corner also. "Its about time!"

Griff asks, "Why do you say that, it's not like we were doing anything anyways… that's what I like about this place so much."

"Eh, grumpy woman are bad." He shrugs and walks up to them. "So what was your problem?"

"None of your concern," Winchester says coldly

"What's got your panties in a bunch? Besides me? Bow chicka bow wow!"

He laughs, and Winchester gives him a hard look that has him cringing back, "I suggest you shut your mouth before I shut it for you."

Argent slides off Sheila, "Aw c'mon guys! Why can't we all just get along?"

Winchester crosses her arms, "As soon as he stops being a pervert."

"That's like asking you to stop being a girl," Argent deadpans. "It's not going to happen without serious surgery."

"Can't help it, Its in the jeans." Tucker smirks, "Bow chick bow wow..."

"Oh my god..." Winchester sighs and turns back around towards Red base. "I hate all of you."

"Well duh...That's because we're fighting each other."

Argent sniffles, "Even me...?"

Winchester hugs her tightly, " No, never you. I mean these idjits." She ponitd at Tucker and Griff.

"Hey, they're MY idiots, lay off," she giggles, hugging her back.

Griff turn his head to Tucker, "Should I be offended?"

Winchester chuckles and shakes her head. Tucker shrugs, "Probably."

Suddenly Dount runs up to them. "Hey! Win!"

"Okay, fuck this," Griff runs back into the base entrance, and stops. "Wait a sec, I'm Blue now! Can I shoot him?"

"Come on Griff! I only came over here to get Winchester!" He grabs her arm and drags her away from Argent.

Griff levels his gun at them, and pulls the trigger.

CLICK!

"Goddamn it! I'm out!"

Winchester smirks as they walk away and holds up the magazine. " Looking for this?"

"You PMSing bitch," he complains, sulking. "I've been waiting forever to make Swiss Cheese out of Donut!"

"Sorry, guess it'll have to wait. Sorry for the disappointment!" She says as they disappear over the hill. Tucker bursts out laughing

"You just got owned! "

"We have more bullets around here," Griff points out.

"Why not beat him with the rifle," Argent suggests.

"Nah, too much work," Griff replies.

Tucker rolls his eyes, "Of course."

"Maybe we should look at getting some more Gravity Hammers," Argent suggests. "They make their own energy field on impact, making maximum hit for minimum effort."

"I like that second bit," Griff says fondly.

"You mean there's more of those things!? Awesome!" Tucker says excitedly

"Nope my hammer is not one of a kind but no one can use it like I can... Except possibly my dad."

"Sweet." Tucker says simply.

…

Winchester sighs," You wanted to see me sir?"

"There you are Winchester!" Sarge nods, "now got one very important question for you today... What is the date?"

"Uh. The 20th?"

"And what month is it?"

" April."

Sarge sighs, "Alright then Winchester, let me make this ridiculously easy, though I thought you were smarter than that... What holiday is in April?"

Winchester blinks and plays with her sniper rifle a little, "Um..."

"Fer cryin' out loud, today's EASTER!" Sarge throws his hands up in the air.

Winchester nods, "Oh, okay..." She shrugs.

"What, that's it?! Winchester this is a sacred time of year for all of us!"

"How come?"

"Well Donut, and Simmons love the egg hunt, and Griff loves the free candy... which now goes to Caboose I guess..." He looks down, missing Griff in his own sadistic way.

Winchester tilts her head, "So its a day committed to finding eggs?"

"Nope, supposedly it's the day Jesus Christ rose from the dead, but some people say it was another time in the rear so we just stick to finding eggs, and eating candy," Sarge says a little sadly. "But... on the bright side I get to lay my booby traps!"

"Yeah, sure okay." Winchester agrees nodding.

"Great! Why don't you go help the other two while I pull together the supplies for the traps?"

" Alright." She turns and walks out of the workshop and goes down the hall to Dount's room.

"Dammit Donut, I just told you that's the green dye! Not the blue! And Caboose I already told you that's water with red dye, NOT KOOLAID!"

Winchester blinks and walks inside, "Uh. Guys? What are you doing?"

"_I am going to paint these eggs with blood! _Right after I finish my Kool-Aid."

Simmons whines , "Winchester, for the love of God, help me with these idiots!"

"Help with what?" She walks up to them and puts her rifle on her back.

Simmons sighs, "We're supposed to let these eggs sit in Dye Water for a few minutes to color them, but Donut here wants them all pink-!"

"It's lightish red!"

"And Caboose keeps thinking the dye water is different flavors of Kool-Aid!" Winchester sighs,

"What do you want me to do?"

"ANYTHING! PLEASE!"

Winchester sighs and cocks her pistol, "Alright, anyone who tries to drink the dye gets shot." She looks at Caboose, "And anyone who tries to dye them all pink gets shot." She looks at Dount. "Do I make myself clear?"

"LIGHTISH RED!"

Caboose turns to her, _"You will not rise three days from now, _you'll be too sleepy!"

Simmons sighs gratefully, "Thanks Win!"

Winchester nods, "No problem...Simmons." she gives a small smile.

Donut holds up an egg, "Just one more lightish red one…?"

"Very well. But just one." Dount cheers, and puts a egg in the pink dye.

Simmons turns to Winchester, "And after we hide the eggs, and collect them, we can eat them!"

"Why not eat them now?" Winchester says in confusion.

"It's… uh… it's kind of a tradition," Simmons explains. "Like opening presents on Christmas, or shooting fireworks on the 4th of July."

"Oh...Alright." Winchester nods a little unsure about everyone'ssanity.

Simmons shrugs, "I don't know how it got started to be perfectly honest, but we all did get those." He jerks a thumb over at some colorful wicker baskets filled with plastic eggs in a variety of colors. On each of them is a team member's name, one even for her.

"Okay, so hide them and find basically?"

"Pretty much, but that's just these real eggs." He walks over, and offers her the basket with her name on it. "Here, pop one of these plastics open." Winchester takes in and grabs a purple one and opens it.

A few small bars of chocolate fall into her hands, and Simmons nods. "That's for you from Command, happy Easter!"

Winchester blinks, "Uh...Happy Easter?"

Caboose eyes the chocolate, and he glances at the baskets. "Which one is mine?" Dount points to a oranges one, "That one...Wait, you really think its a good idea to give him chocolate? "

"_I dare you to try and stop me!"_

Simmons takes a step back, "Wow, no wonder the Blues were in such a hurry to get rid of him…" Winchester takes off her helmet and sets in down. She tilts her head, then shakes it," Man, I either need a bigger helmet or a hair cut."

Dount perks, "I could do it, I know _all_ the latest styles." he begins to rant on. Winchester drowns him out and sighs. She turns towards the door, "I'll be in my room if you need me."

Simmons glances at her, and stares at his feet. After a minute he runs after her. "Hey Winchester, got a minute?"

She stops and looks over her shoulder," Yes, Simmons?"

"I... Um..." He sounds awkward, "We're... Friends... Right?"

" Yes, of course. Why?"

"Well... Um, w-when the egg hunt... Begins... Would you... With me...?" Winchester tilts her head, "With you what?"

He blurts,

"WouldyouliketogoEasterEggHuntingwithme?!"

Winchester turns fully around and nods," Sure."

Great! Uh... Sorry if that was weird... I never had many friends growing up, let alone any girls... Or girlfriends..." You can almost see steam coming off his helmet because he's blushing so hard.

Winchester chuckles softly," Yeah, I can relate, the only real friends I have are Argent, and well the other, I rather not go into details."

"Okay... Uh, if you don't mind me asking, how long have you known Argent? Are you two like BFFs or something?"

" I've known her all my life, we grew up together. "

"wow… So how did you to end up on opposite armies then?" Simmons tilts his head curiously.

" It was just how we were assigned. " Winchester sighs.

"...Life's a b***," he mutters, and then perks. "But it's not all bad! I mean yeah you guys had to fight, but look at us now! No more Red vs. Blue fighting, and we're actually getting to live a little in this pointless war."

"Yeah...Pointless, Winchester thinks to herself. Before nodding," Yeah, its not all bad." She agrees.

Simmons nods, "I mean, don't tell anyone I said this because I don't want Sarge calling me insubordinate, but our battle with the Blues here was just... I guess 'pointless' is the only word for it. The only reason we have bases here is because the other army has a base here. What's the advantage of capturing a boxed canyon in the middle of nowhere?"

Winchester's door to her room opens as they approach." Your not the only one who thinks that, and don't worry I won't tell Sarge."

"Phew! Thanks... Uh..." He stands awkwardly outside her door, eyeing the threshold with apprehension.

" You can come in, I'm not going to rip your head off if you do." She teases with a small smile.

"I-I-I-I!" He trips over his own tongue repeatedly as he tries to reply. Eventually he gulps, and takes one step into the room.

Winchester rolls her eyes" What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?"

When he speaks it's in a high-pitched, choked voice. "Well... I never went in a girl's room before, it's like sacred ground... I feel like I'm trespassing..."

" Do I look like I care?" She sets her helmet and rifle down on a small table, "As long as you don't just barge in like Griff always did..." she mumbles.

"He what?!" His awkward tone changes to one indignant... Defensive almost.

" He didn't bother knocking," she said off handily while taking apart her rifle to clean it." Dount I can handle...Because...well he's Dount."

Simmons grumbles to himself, "Lousy, lazy, disgusting Griff... At least now I have a perfectly good reason to shoot him since he's Blue now."

" He tried to shot me and Dount when I was speaking with Argent...I took his magazine. " she holds up the said magazine of bullets with two fingers" I myself can't wait to shoot him."

"You want me to lure him out into the canyon where he'll be an easy target? I'm pretty sure Sarge would condone that mission."

" Go ask Sarge." She says as she puts her rifle back together and reloads it.

"Okay, hold on, I'll call him on the radio... Simmons to Sarge, come in Sarge! ...Winchester, and I have a plan to take out Griff! ...Oh...okay, um, can it be a plan B then? ...Yes sir, I'll tell her. Over 'n out!" Winchester looks over at him and wait patiently for a answer."He says he's already got a plan in place, no big surprise there."

" Well then what's his plan?"

"He said he was going to brief us in a little while," Simmons replies as he looks around the room.

Winchester nods, "Very well." She sits on her cot and discreetly looks him up and down.

"Huh... Not much in here. I always pictured a girls room to be more… Girly."

" Why? Because I'm a woman I automatically have to be in too girly things?" Winchester crosses her arms.

Simmons stutters, "N-no! Of course not! Just... Letting a boyhood fantasy out in The open. I never would have thought my first friend, who happens to be a girl, would be a master with a sniper rifle either."

Suddenly Church appears next the Winchester's helmet," Dude, enough with stuttering already!"

" I'm really your very first friend?" Winchester asks.

Simmons jumps, "Jesus Christ! You were there the whole time?!"1h ago" Duh, its not I have anywhere else to go." He disappears and reappears next to Winchester. Simmons stairs… And can't say anything. He thought they were having a moment, a private moment between friends… And he thinks a deep part of him is wishing for more. But that's just stupid!

Winchester sighs, "Church go away, we had a three hour conversation I'd like to talk to Simmons more."

" But I'm bored!"

" Your acting like a child."

Simmons shifts his weight from foot to foot, "well we were pretty much done anyway, weren't we?" He starts to back for the door."

" You can still talk to me. Its just this jerk interrupted." She glares at Church, then looks back up at Simmons with a small smile.

Simmons stops when he realizes that she actually wants him there, "… Yeah, why don't you go haunt cave or something?"

Church turns to him," Nobody asked you tomato can."

"Go die in a fire... Again," Simmons retorts.

Church rolls his eyes," I can't still a ghost!" He disappears.

Simmons smiles to himself, and takes off his helmet. "Well that was easier than expected."

" Yeah, Church is pretty easy going." She scoots over so he can sit. He sits on the bed, but puts some pointed distance between them.

"So what did you wanna talk about?"

" Well I think weather is out of the question since nothing ever happens here...Favorite songs?"

"Mostly classical music, I find it soothing. I personal favorite is Beethoven's Fer Elise."

" My favorites are Kansas and Foghat...I'm kind of a geek when it comes to 80's and 90's music..." she rubs the back of her head.

Simmons chuckles lightly, "well… I honestly don't know what those are so I really can't judge. I will admit though I have heard some of the more modern rock bands, and some of them aren't as bad as others."

" Some of them are okay...But, I have to say Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen is my favorite of all time. "she leans back against the wall.

Simmons smiles and sets his helmet to the side,

"… So how old are you?"

" That's classified. " she smirks.

He laughs and processes arms "okay then, favorite movie."

Winchester pales slightly..._She's been in the military her whole life, what does she say?!_ " Uh..."

Simmons chuckles, "Yeah it's been a while huh? I've been in this army so long I've forgotten most of the movies I enjoyed back home."

" Yeah, It sucks." She sighs and wipes her forehead," Hey...um, could you do something for me?"

"Uh... That may, or may not depend on what it is..."

" Could you press this button? Its on my back towards the middle, I'd do it...But I can't reach it." She stands and turns so her backs facing him.

"Oh, okay," he says innocently, and reaches over, pushing the button. The button clinks and Winchesters armor hisses before the chest and back piece fall to the ground. Simmons sputters, and like a gentleman he looks directly away from her.

Winchester rolls her eyes," Calm down it was just my armor release, I'm not naked."

"Oh... Sorry..." He turns to her again, a heavy blush on his cheeks.

Winchester smiles," But thanks for considering." She picks up the armor and takes them to a strange looking rack, she puts the chest and back pieces on it. Then begins to take off the other pieces of amour. Simmons can't help but glance at her occasionally... And he feels guilty for it. Winchester puts the last piece of amour on the rack and hook up a wire to it the amour buzzes. She turns back around, standing in nothing but the skin tight suit the amour connects to.

Simmons clears his throat, "Ah... Would it upset you if I said you were attractive?"

" No, not at all." She grabs her hair and takes the rubber band out and un-weaves her hair.

Simmons smiles, "Okay... And I don't think you should cut your hair. It hasn't stopped you yet has it?"

" No..." She grabs a brush and runs it though her thick hair.

He swallows, and clasps his hands in his lap. "...I think you're very beautiful Winchester, and I, Richard Simmons, would like... To take you... Out." He winces as the last words leave his mouth.

Winchester blinks in surprise," I...I don't know what to say."

Simmons looks sheepishly up at her, "...Please say yes?" Winchester stares at the wall her mind at war_, It won't compromise the mission will it? What if he finds out?_...Screw if she'll figure it out later." U-uh yes."

Simmons cleans an ear out with his little finger, did she just stutter?"Okay... Wanna go... Hunt Griff? Not much else to do here."

" Yes...But later though, my amour is malfunctioning. "

"Really? How come? Do you think Lopez would look at it for you."

" I don't know, and I'm sure he would." She sits next to him again...this time a little closer.

Simmons smiles, "Cool, well I better go find Sarge, see what he's up to."He stands, and picks up his helmet.

Winchester nods," Okay." She smiles at him.

"Great! See you later!" He picks up his rifle, and jogs out of the room


	8. Chapter 8

_**Chapter eight.**_

Griff walks up to Tucker, "Dude, we got a problem."

Tucker groans," If you're going to bitch that we're out of Oreos, I will punch you in the face."

"Huh? Oh no, I won a lifetime supply on the internet just now," Griff assures him. "Our problem is that there's a lot of activity over at Red Base, I saw it through the sniper rifle. That means Sarge has an idea in his head, and trust me, that means trouble for everyone."

" So? Se now have a functioning tank! We'll just shot them and then problem solved."

"I don't know, I saw Sarge digging holes out in the canyon. My guess is he's planting landmines, and everybody knows those blow the s*** out of tanks every day."

" True..." Tucker shrugs," Oh well, they're still not that smart."

"Well for Sarge, Caboose, and Donut yeah. But they got Winchester, and Simmons. Look, I don't wanna sound paranoid, I'm just saying, watch your step out there."

Argent runs over, "Hey guys, I think Red team has gone crazy."

"No shit Sherlock," Griff mutters.

Argent ignores him, and continues, "I saw Caboose, and Donut walking around with baskets of painted eggs, and hiring them. Are they storing food for winter or something because I bet those eggs will spoil before then."

Tucker facepalms," I completely forgot! Today's Easter!"

Griff straightens, "Oh yeah!"Argent looks between them, "Say what now?"

Tucker stares at her," Easter."

"Which 'her' do I get to eat?"Tex appears, "For the love of God, are you fucking serious? It's a holiday!"

" How could you not know what Easter is?!" Tucker exclaims.

Argent looks down, "Daddy was never big on holidays... Except the Fourth of July, when we would celebrate our independence by invading a Covenant ship, and blowing the shit out of it."

Griff moans, "Oh you depraved girl, all those years without the free chocolate..."Argent perks, "Chocolate?"

" Yeah you put chocolate in eggs, then hide them, and then witch ever ones you find you get to keep and eat."

Argent smiles, "Cool! So the Reds are setting them up for us? That's nice of them."

" Yeah...But they put mines down."

Griff turns, "Well more than likely since it's Easter Sarge is burying grenades with fishing wire connecting the egg to the ring. It's the kind of stunt he'd pull."

" Figures..." Tucker mumbles and crosses his arm. Tex says, "Then just cut the fucking wire, no big deal."

Tucker rolls his eyes," Hey, maybe if we're lucky Caboose will pick one up."

Griff snorts, "yeah, let's hope!"

" Think we should go over there?" Tucker asks.

Argent suggests, "maybe I should call Winchester, and ask if that's okay."

Tucker nods," Do it. I'd rather not be shot to bits."

"Alright then… Argent to Winchester, come in Winchester…"

Church answers," Argent? Hey what's up?"

"Hey Winry, we were just wondering if we can come over and join you for the egg search… How come we never heard about this Easter thing earlier?"

"...Um..." Church clears his throat," Wins in the shower room right now, can I take a message?"

"Church? Exhalation point which winery? Never mind, you just said she was in the shower. So what's going on? Can we come over for the egg hunt?"

"I guess, they just got done hiding them."

"Thank you! Will be right over." Argent shuts off her radio, and Turns to the others. "They said it's okay."

" What was that part about Winchester being I'm the shower? I'm ready to go!" Tucker says happily.

Griff shakes his head, "Dude, trust me, bad idea!"

" Ah who cares? I'll be worth it!" He takes off running while being mindful of the mines.

Argent is close behind him, "Let's hurry, the chocolate will melt in this heat!"

Griff follows her, "Finally, logic I can get behind!"

Tucker rolls his eyes," You can get behind my logic way better...Bow chicka bow wow." He mutters

Argent deadpans, "Dude, if you're going to switch teams then that's fine, but I hate people making gay jokes."

"Yeah, seriously, you sound like Donut right now," Griff grumbles.

" Oh please, like you've never made at lest one in your life."

Argent tilts her head, "So really want Griff to do you in the rear?"

"No way," Griff says. "No offense to any homosexuals, but I am straight as a ruler."

" I was talking about Winchester!"

"In that case you're still a pig," Tex says.

" Eh, it was worth it." He shrugs as they weaves though the freshly buried mines.

...

On top of Red Base Simmons snickers, "Perfect, now how are we doing this Winchester? A simple headshot, or shoot a mine close enough to kill Griff? ...Wow, I'm thinking a lot like Sarge these days..."

"Or we could make him dance," she smirks and looks though the scope on her rifle and aims at Grif's feet and pulls the trigger.

"Whoa!" Griff jumps, and just barely manages NOT to step on a landline by planting his feet on either side of it. Simmons laughs, "Nice one! Why kill him when we can just make him miserable?"

Argent waves, "Later Griff, we'll save you some chocolate... Maybe..."

Winchester laughs," I found my favorite pass time!" She reloads and shoots again. Tucker laughs and points.

Sarge sniffles, "I am so proud of all of you... Except Griff."

Winchester stops shooting and turns to Sarge," Have you seen Lopez anywhere?"

"Um... No, why?"In his head he's thinking about how Lopez is still a head sitting on his work table while he had been occupied with building a laser-guided napalm shark... He's just missing the shark.

" I need him to look at my armor. "

"Why? What's wrong with it? And why'd you stop shooting at Griff?"

Winchester sighs and continues shooting while talking," My shields keep draining, it like my suit is using the energy for the shield to power the other functions. "

Argent frowns, "Hey mine was doing the same thing until we..."Tex appears, "Where the hell is Church?"

Winchester narrows her eyes," Church..."

Nothing.

" Church!"

Still nothing.

"CHURCH!"

He appears next to Winchester, " What woman?!"

Tex vanishes, and appears near Winchester, "Hey, just remember if there is one person who can still kick your ass it's me. So show some respect before I evict you."

" What am I doing?" His voice sounds nervous.

"That's what we'd like to know," Tex replies. "Argent was having power trouble in her armor before we switched. Now suddenly Winchester is having power issues. Coincidence? I think not."

Church glance between Winchester and Tex," I don't know want I'm doing wrong."

"Well whatever you're doing when we don't see you, it's draining the batteries in Winchesters armor." Tex puts her hands on her hips. Griff finally makes it out of the minefield, "Phew! Wait, what's going on here?"

" The only thing I'm doing is playing Gallaca!"

Tex turns to Winchester, "When did you download that?"

" I didn't."Winchester sighs and reloads her rifle and puts it on her back.

Argent pleads, "Can we get on with the chocolate please?"

Winchester rolls her eyes. Dount perks," Alright! Everyone pick a partner!"

Argent loops her arm through Tucker's

"Dibs!"

Simmons runs up beside Winchester, "Dibs!"

Sarge glances between Griff, and Donut. "...I got dibs on Lopez!"

Griff glances over at Donut, "...I fucking hate all of you, Red AND Blue!"

Argent looks around, "Um, where's Caboose...? And where's Doc?"

Tucker smirks smugly at Griff. Winchester looks around," You know I haven't see them for a couple of hours..."

"Jelly rabbit droppings," Sarge curses. "Alright, let's fan out in our pairs, and search for candy... And those other two idiots."

Winchester jumps off the side off the base and lands with a roll.

Tucker looks over at Argent.

She smiles, and let's go of his arm. She eyes the minefield, and draws her Gravity Hammer, "Hm..."

Tucker blinks," Your not going to do what I think your gonna do are you?"

"Are you thinking that I'm going to throw my hammer into the field, and blow all the mines at once?"

" Yup."

"Then yeah, I am, "she says, throwing her hammer like a spear.

Tucker takes a few steps back And watches as the hammer hits the ground causing a series of explosions. " Dude! Awesome!"

"Thanks... Now take two steps back. Tucker takes two more steps back.

Argent's hammer lands handle-down in the ground where he used to be standing.

Tucker pales," That thing still scares the shit out of me."

She puts it on her back, "Let's go see if that unearthed any candy!"

" Or blowed it straight to hell." Tucker shrugs.

"… I hadn't thought of that," Argent says sadly, and hangs her head

Tucker shrugs," Oh, well come on lets go!" He jumps off the side of the base. Argent follows him closely, and Symonds turns to Winchester. "Well… That didn't go as well as expected… Or hoped…"

" Yeah, I think they blew up half of the candy." She shrugs and walks around the back of the base.

"Huh? Oh yeah, shame about the candy, but Easter comes every year. We don't get a prime chance to kill Griff like that even that often though." He follows her with his gun on his back.

Winchester nods and looks around their surroundings, looking for anything out of place. Simmons is walking when, without him noticing he kicks a light blue plastic Easter egg out of some tall grass. Winchester stops and looks down at it, before picking it up.

"Oh hey, you found one!"

" Well technically you did, your foot hit it and it rolled out of the grass" she holds the egg out to him. Simmons looks at it, "oh… Well you can have it if you want it."

" No, take it." She shoves it to his chest and turns back around to continue walking. Simmons looks down at the plastic egg, and then back up at her as she follows her. "Don't you like chocolate?"

" I'm more of a caramel fan. " she folds her arms over her chest and sighs.

"What's wrong?"" I'm just getting bored with all this..."

"...Is there anything you feel like doing?"

"I could train...But Argents always busy with something else."

"Wow, don't you ever relax?"

" I don't have time to relax, " Winchester says.

Church appears next to her," Man, I have to go with Simmons on this one Win."

"It's a holiday Winchester, it's like the entire government dedicated today as a day to relax."

" Yeah, well you never know when someone or something might attack." She says frimly.

" We're in the middle of now where inside a boxed canyon!" Church exclaims," Who the fuck will attack?!"

" More people than you know..." Winchester grumbles to herself.

"Really? So you have old enemies? I think I heard through the grapevine that Argent came from a military family, and if you two have known each other for so long then so have you, right?"

"Yes." Winchester says simply.

"Well what are the odds that they're going to be looking for you in a boxed canyon in the middle of nowhere?" Simmons looks around for more eggs.

" It's not the matter of where I am, It's what they're using to find me." She slides her foot though more grass.

"Like what? Maybe I can help think of a way to undo it."

" Don't worry about it, it's my problem, I'll take care of it. "her words sere a little harsh at the end.

Simmons pauses, "Winchester, if that's what you really want then fine, but friends look out for one another."

Winchester stays silent, then sighs lightly," I'm sorry."

Simmons puts a hand on her shoulder, "Hey, I'm here for you, okay? No matter what."

Winchester puts her hand over his," Thank you, Simmons...I needed to hear that."

"And it felt pretty good to say."

Winchester smiles from behind her helmet, and pats his hand before continuing walking. Simmons glances around, "Hey Winchester-I mean... What's your first name again?"

" Avaline."

Simmons extends his hand, "Richard, but my friends call me Dick."

Winchester looks down at his hand, before taking it." For the love of God...You guys act like you've never meet before!" Church complains.

"Hey butt out, Pixel Pixie!" Simmons groans, and mutters, "Twenty-five years old, and I'm still getting cock-blocked... Uh, did I say that out loud?"

Winchester tilts her head, " You're still being what?"

Church laughs,"Oh, man you got lucky on this one!"

Simmons rounds on him, finally at his wits end. "You know what, fuck you Church!" He turns to Winchester, "Avaline, I have a huge crush on you. You're smart, reliable, and drop-dead gorgeous to boot!"

"Hey! You finally grow a pair!" Church says

Winchester ignores Church," Really?"

Simmons sighs, "Yeah... Really... I just lost my cool for a minute there because of that asshole in your helmet, sorry."

" No, no, it's fine... Its not your fault." She glares at Church,

" Hey! You should thank me! If it wasn't for me he wouldn't have told you!"

"Actually I was about to get around to it," Simmons grumbles. "Now can we have some privacy PLEASE?!"

Church sighs," Fine..." he disappears back in her helmet.

Simmons looks away from Winchester, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you, but that's how I feel."

"I'm not embarrassed...I thought it was kinda hot and cute at the same time."

Simmons blushes, and slowly takes off his

helmet. "...Really?"

"Yes."

"Then... can we date?" He looks up at her hopefully.

Winchester blinks...then blinks again before answering, "...Yes..." she sounds the slightest bit unsure.

Simmons smiles, "Great! Uh, I mean, that's great. Wanna smoke these guys in… the…" He looks over her shoulder at a cave entrance, "What the-? I thought I saw Caboose just now."

Winchester turns towards the cave," He's probably looking around in there for eggs. Want to follow him?"

"Uh… nah, let's just tell Sarge we know he's still breathing." Simmons puts on his helmet, "By the way Church, how did you keep him in line? I figured he was stupid beyond all reason if they wanted Griff for him, but I never thought he was so aggressive."

"He's not, he started that right before he went with you guys." Church says as he appears between the two soldiers.

"Actually it was more like right after he joined us, about the same time Tex got shot by the tank," Simmons muses.

Church shrugs, "Oh well, not my problem. "

"Well technically since you're in Avaline's head, and she's on red team… yeah, he is."

Church stays silent for a moment, "I meant I don't have to deal with him physically. Just let me know when he kills your leader...He has a habit of doing that."


	9. Chapter 9

_**Chapter Nine**_

Argent looks down the scope on her magnum, "... Hey Tucker, there's one behind you about three feet!"

Tucker turns and looks," What the hells with all the pink ones?!" He picks it up.

"Probably the one in pink armor, I think his name is Donut. My Gaydar goes off around him a lot." She holds up their basket, filled with a bunch of eggs. "Either way we still have a lot of goodies!"

"True...Hey, how much time do we have left on the timer?"

Argent checks the readout in her helmet, and sighs, "Thirty seconds… Well we found way more in the minefield than we were expecting!"

"Yeah, its pretty obvious which ones those were..."

"I said sorry…" She hangs her head. "At least they're edible. Apparently Sarge wasn't willing to sacrifice chocolate for killing Griff because he put them in these shiny metal eggs!"

"Can you blame him? We only get these once a year," he sighs sadly.

Argent shakes her head, "Nah, if anything I'm grateful. Let's head back for the egg count now!"

Tex appears, "Hey guys, Church says that he saw Caboose headed into the caves. Oh, and that Winchester is an item with Simmons now."

Tucker sputters, "He's what?!"

Argent looks just as shocked, "What?! I thought Caboose was afraid of the dark!"

"Who cares about him! Since when did Sim-"

Church appears, "Dude, shut up already, its not like you were going to get anywhere with Win anyway."

Tex turns to Church, "Well we're headed in to do the egg count. Did you already radio Caboose, and Doc?"

"No..."

"Good, let's go," Tex replies. "He'd probably eat it all before we got a chance to count it."

Argent frowns, "That's mean!" Tex just stares at her until Argent sighs, "Well let's go back to Red base..."

Tucker shrugs," Alright, whatever."

Back at base Sarge is waiting when they all get there… well, almost everyone.

"I'd ask where Caboose is, but frankly I just don't care," Sarge says. "I never thought it possible, but he's a worse soldier than you Griff."

"Whatever…"

Argent holds up their basket, "Here's ours!"

Winchester holds up hers and Simmons basket, the basket is about half-full.

Sarge nods, "great job you two! Sadly the whole time I couldn't find Lopez so I never got any!"

Griff turns to Donut, "And _someone,_ who remain nameless *cough*Donut*cough* was eating ours the whole time!"

Sarge sighs, "Well… I suppose the best we can do then is call it a draw! Now let's divde up the candy evenly among everyone here! Except Donut, and Caboose… and Church, and Tex since they don't eat it."

Suddenly Tex shouts, "DUCK!" The proximity sensors in Argent's, and Winchester's helmets go off as someone fires a rocket launcher at the roof of Red Base from the cliffs. Winchester immediately ducks and whirls to face the person who shot at them, pointing her sniper rifle at them.

"_Mwahahahaha!" _Caboose reloads the rocket launcher, and aims it at them, _"Happy Easter you foolish fools!"_

Tex jerks her head up as Argent draws her hammer, "I know that voice! Omega!"

Winchester looks over, "You know him? Can I shoot him?"

"He's the AI that was in my head," Tex replies. "And that's Caboose he's in, I'm pretty sure a headshot won't work."

Omega laughs again, _"Oh don't worry, I'm not here to destroy you, that was just a parting gift. But before I go I just want to show you just how foolish you idiots are! Either that or all of you are hopelessly blind!"_

Griff looks up, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"_You imbeciles are so stupid I'm surprised you're even alive! Even THIS idiot has more brainpower than all of you put together!"_

Winchester growls, "How about you tell us before I shoot you off that cliff?!"

"_You fools really think these 'rookies' you've associated with are really rookies? They waltz in here with training, and weaponry far more superior to your own, and you buy some bullshit story of a military family? Open your eyes you disgusting fools, THEY'RE FREELANCERS!"_

Winchester narrows her eyes and throws a grenade at him, it lands perfectly between his feet before blowing up.

"_AGH! SATAN'S BUNION!" _Caboose is sent flying, and lands in the canyon floor. The others are still. Argent looks over her shoulder at them.

Griff is the first to speak, "So...is it true? Now that I think about it you guys only fought Tex once when we weren't around, and she never tried to mess with you guys since."

Winchester looks over at Argent, nodding slightly. "Yes, its true."

Sarge sounds dumbstruck, "I don't believe it… you two were playing us for fools the whole time!"

Tex turns, "Well if the boot fits-"

"NO!" Argent whirls, and takes off her helmet, "Guys, it wasn't like that! We had to keep our cover, we had orders!"

Griff stares at her, "So it was all pretend huh? You Freelancers are a sneaky bunch, and here I thought we had actually made some friends."

Sarge sniffles, "And here you had made me begin to believe that reds, and blues could live together in harmony… that maybe we could be a little… purple."

Argent looks at them with wet eyes, "I can't fake a friendship! Tucker… Church… please…"

Tucker looks to the side a little, before looking back at her, "...I'll forgive you."

Argent drops her hammer, and hugs him tightly. Simmons looks down, and then up at Winchester, "You were going to tell me right? I know you had orders, but still…"

Winchester stays silent for a few seconds, and nods,"...Yes, I was."

_That's complete bullshit. _Her subconscious growls. She looks at her team and sighs.

Sarge shakes his head sadly, "Winchester… I'm sorry, but it's clear you're not a Red. I'm afraid that I can't have you as my second in command anymore."

Out in the canyon Caboose gets to his feet, and hits a transponder on his wrist. A Ghost drives by, and he quickly jumps on, driving for Blue base. Winchester snaps her head up towards the middle of the canyon, and listens carefully, she snaps at Sarge to stop his rant.

Argent picks up her helmet, and uses the binocular function. "...Well Caboose is tenacious if nothing else, he's headed for Blue Base. I don't see what he can accomplish there though." She turns towards the group, "Reintroductions are in order I think. I'm Kate Argent, Agent Tennessee, but you can call me Ten if you want. Most everyone does."

Winchester speaks up," Avaline Winchester, Agent Alaska."

Tex nods, "Allison Tex, Agent Texas. Now if I know Omega then he'll have some way out of here, and he's probably headed for it now. Church, you go with Alaska to cut him off. We'll back you up with whatever firepower we can."

"Alright." Church agrees, he disappears back in Winchester's helmet." Ready?"

"Ready." Winchester's form begins to disappear.

Argent turns to the others, "Tex, tell Sheila to stop Caboose, disable his vehicle. Tucker, take the Red's teleporter into the canyon, try to get to her so you can assist. Whichever of you Reds is best at sniping head for the cliffs, the other two saddle up with me in the Warthog. Shotgun!" She turns, and jumps off the base, running for the jeep with her hammer in hand.

Tucker groans as he stares at the teleporter.

Griff sighs as he head for the jeep and hops in the drivers seat. Sarge takes the sniper rifle, and heads for the cliffs as Simmons hops on the gun. Argent gets in the shotgun seat as the engine starts. "Tex, "I'm going to need you help here. I'm good at hand to hand, but I hear you're the best. Caboose is easily the strongest guy in this canyon, and he's got Omega in his head."

Tex scoffs, "Please, I'll drop him like a bitch."

Griff rolls his eyes," Yeah okay...What's the plan once we catch up to him?" He slams on the gas and speeds into the canyon.

Tex replies, "Omega can jump between armors with an open radio so we need to make sure everyone has theirs off. Then we either kill Caboose, or I get in his head to go after Omega myself. If I can kill him, and he has no place to go then he'll be deleted."

" Oh...Sounds easy enough." He says sarcastically.

Simmons looks down the sights of his turret, "Guys, he has that purple guy all tied up, and he's dragging him to the teleporter! He probably reset it to go anywhere! And… wow he's strong, he's doing with one hand while he's got Lopez under one arm."

Winchester runs up the ramp to the top of blue base, "Halt!"she levels her sniper rifle at his head.

"_Agent Alaska… you are going to lower that gun, and let me go. Why?" _He looks up at her, _"Because we have a war to win… so says your father!"_ He shoves Doc through the teleporter, and jumps in.

Winchester narrows her eyes and quickly jumps in after him," Get back here you son of bitch!" She growls.

" Win wait we don't-!" Church reasoning fell on deaf ears as she disappears.

They pull up a little too late, and Argent runs up the ramp, pausing in front of the teleporter. She knows Omega's reputation, and won't risk a trap.

"Simmons, get up here, and take a look at this thing. The rest of you fall in towards my position," Argent says into her radio.

"Does that mean just go where you are?" Tucker asks over the radio.

"Yeah, sorry, it does," she says while putting her hammer on her back.

" Okay!" A couple minutes later Dount and Tucker run up the ramp and up to them. Sarge comes up the other side of the base with Griff, and Simmons.

"Alright Argent, what's going on?"

"We're going hunting," she replies. "Simmons needs to look at the teleporter first though, knowing Omega he could have programmed it to send anyone who tried to follow him into deep space." Simmons nods, and kneels by the teleporter with a tool kit.

Argent continues, "Sarge, I need you to build a couple robots, make one of them for Tex. We're going to need all the fist power we can get for this. Tucker, I need to borrow your laptop… it has updated anti-virus software, right?"

"Yes...But..." He says unsurely, "I have some pretty messed up stuff on there..."

"Hey, I'm not judging, I just need a couple hardlines." She puts a finger to her helmet, and says, "This is Agent Tennessee to the Righteous Indignation, come in Travis… Not so good, Zero is on the loose, Queens just went after him… Lock onto her beacon, we need coordinates… Synch!" She nods, and cuts connection. "How's it looking Simmons?"

"Uh… it looks like it has a cycle of specific coordinates built into it that change every few seconds. My guess is if we wait long enough it'll cycle back to the place it took Caboose… but I don't think Avaline is with them."

"So she could be in the middle of Space for all we know?" Dount asks panicking slightly.

Simmons shakes his head, "No, from what I can tell the teleporter just goes to different parts of this planet. One goes up into the cold north, another goes to a canyon a few hundred miles west of here, one sends you out in the middle of the desert, one goes out to the shore of the sea off to the east, and another… that's weird, it's programmed for underground, right underneath us."

Argent sighs in relief, "Well at least they're on this planet still."

"...Maybe not, there's one more set of coordinates that doesn't revolve in the cycle as often, definitely off-planet."

" What do you mean by that?..." Tucker asks unsure, "A _completely_ different plant?!"

Simmons stands, "No Tucker, I mean the planet that used to be on this one, but then it decided they needed some time apart so she went across the galaxy. YES A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PLANET!"

"I was just making sure, didn't have to be an asshole about it..."

Argent puts a hand on his shoulder, "No worries Simmons, she's been through tougher things than Omega."

"Yeah, like what?"

"Sarge how are those robots coming?"

"Hey don't ignore me!"

Sarge sighs, "I just finished building the feet Argent, keep your chestplate on!"

Tucker sighs, "Is there anyway to get her back here?"

"We go through, and bring her back," Argent says, a compartment on her leg opening up. She pulls out a thick metal disk. She presses a button on it, and tosses it out into the canyon. "You guys stay away from that thing."

"Why? What's it do?" Dount asks.

"It's a beacon," Argent replies as something falls from the sky, slamming into the ground hard enough to made the base tremble. She run over to find what looks like a smooth half of an egg. She smiles, and secures the flat side to her back before running back to the group. The "egg" opens, unfolding into a portable weapons rack. "Extra rounds, and a few fun weapons. Nothing super special sadly, but it should help." She tosses Donut a few belts of grenades.

_Hang on Win, we're coming…_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Chapter Ten**_

"_Mwahahahaha! This is perfect! absolutely perfect! now we have a party being set up- _A PARTY?! OH I LOVE PARTIES! Do we get to wear those pointed hats?! _Oh shut up you fool! Don't you know it's rude to interrupt a villain while they're monologueing?! _Sorry…"

Doc has been watching those two bicker for some time now, ever since they got to this frozen wasteland.

"Please, someone kill me now," Lopez says.

"_You shut up too! I have big plans for you! Anyways, as I was saying, what's a party without inviting a few friends? Mwahahahaha… haha….ha… haha…"_

…

Winchester fades into sight in the middle of a grassy field. She shakes head head a little and looks around, "Church? You still there?"

"Yeah… still here," he says, appearing in the air beside her. "Where are we?"

"...I'm not sure..." She walks to a cliff that the field ends at," Holy..." Over the cliff is a city, it's cluttered with people and vehicles.

"Well… I gotta say that it's good to see civilization again," Church says, already programming coordinates into her suit for the city.

Winchester takes another look at the city before she disappears. Little does she know she has eyes on her already…

…

"Hey Rocket Whore, CATCH!" Argent tosses Simmons a rocket launcher.

Simmons barely catches it and looks up at her, you could just see the offended expression on his face, "Rocket Whore...?"

"It's a nickname Spartan Soldiers give soldiers that specialize in a rocket launcher," Argent explains. "That one has heat seeking so you might have some fun with that."

" Oh...Well alright." He shrugs and puts It over his shoulder.

Argent nods as she roots through her weapons rack, "We have other nicknames too. We call Snipers "Campers," and the grenade-happy people "Fruit"... though that has a double meaning in this case…" She looks at Donut, "Not judging though, since I'm straight as a pretzel."

Tucker picks up a plasma rifle, "What's this one?" He pulls the trigger and jumps when a bolt of blue energy shoots out.

"A bit of Covenant weaponry I got once upon a Fourth of July. I think there's a plasma sword in there too, but it doesn't have much of a charge. My buddy Crunchbite told me their kind has legends of a sword with eternal power, but no one has ever managed to find it." She pulls out a box of shotgun shells, and slides them across the roof to Sarge.

He picks it up and loads his shotgun and cocks it," Alright lets kick some A.I. ass."

Tex flexes the fingers of her new body, and punches a fist into a palm while cracking her neck. "Alright then. She picks up a Spartan Laser, "Where did you get this thing?"

"I made it," Argent says. "It was my idea of a science fair project. Think of it as a laser pointer… that points things INTO OBLIVION! It takes three seconds to charge a shot, and only has five per ammo battery though."

"Some of these are pretty kick-ass!" Tucker puts his battle rifle on his back and goes with the plasma rifle.

Argent shrugs, "I guess that's what happens when you dad… uh… really knows guns!"

Griff picks up a pistol with a bulky cylinder on the end, "What's this thing?"

"Oh we just call that the Hand Buster."

Griff gulps, and holds his finger as far away from the trigger as possible, "Why…?"

"Because it shoots a delayed magnetic grenade. The longer you hold the trigger the longer the delay. Also when it finally goes off it can destroy a tank… speaking of which." She walks over to the laptop on the ground, and after looking at the screen she pulls out a chip, inserting it into her helmet. "How is it in there Sheila? I hope the conversion process wasn't too rough."

"Not nearly as roomy as the tank, but it will do."

"Aw, tell you what, once we get rid of Omega then I'll send you to my ship, you can help Travis as the onboard computer AI, he's been begging for one forever."

" Oh yes! That would be wonderful, thank you."

"Don't mention it Sheila, what are lady-friends for?" She turns to the group, "Alright, everyone locked, and loaded?"

" Yup!" They all say at the same time.

"Alright, then let's try going through in pairs. We can't know for sure where they went so we need to try every location on this planet first. I already called my superior, and she's going to get back to us on the off-world location. Simmons, you go with Sarge. Tucker, you go with Griff. Donut, you come with me. Tex will you be fine on your own?"

"Of course," Tex says.

Tucker goes over to Griff, and Simmons goes to Sarge. One by one the pairs go through the teleporter until Blood Gulch is empty as a tomb.

…

Church looks around, "Well damn, this place is kinda nice."

Winchester nods," Yeah...It really is..."

_So this is what me, Argent, and dad protect?...Mmmmmmm..._

Church is an image inside her visor, figuring he might scare people if they could see right through him. Suddenly his head jerks to the side as a hand grabs Winchester by the chestplate. The next thing she knows she's dragged out of sight faster than one might think possible, and slammed against a wall.

"What the hell are you doing here," Carolina hisses at her.

Winchester reflex kicks in and she flips them with a knife to her neck." Who-Carolina?" She back away," I was going after Omega, and ended up here."

Church appears, "Who is this?"

Carolina glances at him, and then burns holes in Winchester with her eyes, "You brought the Alpha _here?!" _She glances around quickly.

"It's not like I planned this!" Winchester growls

"Planned or not you have a huge target on your back now," Carolina growls right back. "_HE _is here, I've been leading him on a false trail!"

" I'll figure something out." Winchester sighs angrily.

Church glances between them, "He who? And why did she call me Alpha?"

Winchester sighs and glances and Carolina, " Do you want me to tell him?"

"No, I want you off of Reach this minute," Carolina replies. "If we can get you enough power into your suit you may be able to teleport back to Blood Gulch."

"Where would we get enough power to do that?"

"There's a power plant south of the city, that should do," Carolina replies. "Now we need to get out of here before he decides to storm the city."

"WHO'S 'HE'?! For the love of God, can you at least tell me that?!" Church flickers red for a moment.

" I'm sorry Church, I can't tell you." Winchester says sincerely.

"...I think I liked being in Argent's head better. I hope Tex is doing okay."

"Tex?" Carolina turns to Winchester, "You can tell me what happened as we move." She hits a transponder on her wrist, and a Mongoose rides up to the end of the alley.

Winchester stays silent and climbs on the back of the Mongoose. Carolina revs the engine, and they start driving for the south end of the city.

Church says, "I'm not helping until you tell me who 'He' is supposed to be."

" Lets just say...he's a bad guy, and wants us dead." Winchester says.

"Yeah, like you'd be running from someone who wants to give you a BIIIIIG hug! How about a straight answer now?"

Carolina groans, "Fine, his name is Agent Maine, he's a rogue Freelancer that attacks other Freelancers for their AI units, and equipment."

"Now that is a real answer!" Church pauses, "...Wait, a freelancer hunting other freelancers? Scary…"

"You don't know the half of it," Carolina replies.

Winchester takes a deep breath and looks around her. She doesn't see any sign of him yet though…

They eventually get to the power station, without incident thankfully. Carolina checks the fuel gage, "Fuck, needs gas now…"

Winchester hops off the back and walks to the gate and kicks it down, "Alright."

Suddenly there's an explosion that knocks Winchester to the right. She looks over her shoulder in time to see a figure in white armor with orange highlights jump off a cliff. He has a Brute Shot in his hands, and his helmet is mostly visor, almost like a dome. When he hits the ground it cracks under him, and his makes a growling hiss in his throat.

Church gulps, "Maine?"

Winchester rolls to her feet and narrows her eyes, "Church, whatever you do, _please_ do not show yourself." She cocks her sniper rifle.

"Trust me, _not _a problem!"

Carolina draws her pistol, and blasts it at Maine a few times, "GO! GO!" Maine calmly turns to her, and blows up her Mongoose.

Winchester bolts inside the power plant and looks for a hook up, she growls when she doesn't find one and bolts down another hall. Outside there is a ton of gunfire, and explosions that spur her on even faster.

She finally finds one and yanks the wire from the wall and hooks it to her armor, " Church get ready."

"Right, where to?"

Maine's fist slams through a three-inch metal door.

"HOLY HELL!" Church starts to panic

"Blood gulch!"

"On it!" The world fades just as Agent Maine unloads his weapon into the door, blowing it to shrapnel.

…

Argent appear in a large room filled with portals. SHe looks around for Donut, but doesn't see him. "...Sheila, any idea where we are?"

"Negative."

"Perfect," she says. "Can you help me try to patch in to the others?"

"Negative, but you could do something with the teleporter."

"Good idea, these things probably go just about anywhere so if I send a radio signal on the same frequency as the teleporter I might get a signal through," she says, and kneels by one of them. "I just hope the others can hold on long enough for me to find them."

"Affirmative, and I'm sure they will be okay."

"I'm not so sure Sheila, I assigned pairs based on efficiency. Since Donut isn't here the others could be anywhere, in any order. That could spell trouble six out of ten times." She opens a panel, and starts messing with the wiring.

" Mmmmmmm...I suppose you are right. Oh well."

"I guess I can see why you don't care much, the only ones that really treated you like a person were Caboose, Win, and me, right?"

"...And Agent Texas. And thank you for that."

"No problem," Argent sparks a few wires together. "If my daddy taught me anything it's that just because you don't have blood in your veins that doesn't make you any less of a person. Well, that, and how to rip apart eight different species with your bare hands."

"Your father sounds like a smart man, may I ask what his name is?"

Argent smiles, "...Alright, but it has to remain top-secret okay?"

"Affirmative."

Argent giggles, "...His name is John-117."

Sheila stays quiet for a moment," You mean _the_ John- 117, AKA Master Chief?!"

"The one, and only," Argent replies. "Kinda fills a few plotholes, huh? And how many dads would beat a Covenant Brute to death so he could give a 13-year-old a Gravity Hammer for her birthday?"

" I'm guessing only one."

"Exactly. After the first Covenants were taken down the UNSC decided to try and replicate that particular super-soldier. So they took his DNA from the field Medics, and cloned him. What they got was me, and Winchester. We out of a few hundred clones survived, and somehow she's more keen on being BFFs than sisters." She hooks some wires into her suit, "Hold on a sec Sheila. YO! Anyone over there?!"

No answer…

"Hm...Sheila, try alternating the signal frequency, see if we get a lucky hit."

There's a bit of static before Simmons voice sounds, "Sir I don't know where we are for the last fucking time."

"Simmons? This is Argent, do you read me?"

"Huh? Argent? Is that you?"

"Yeah I just said it was me. Is Sarge there with you?"

"Oh, sorry. Yeah he's here."

"Good, where are you guys? I mean, what can you see?"

"We're standing in a river...there's a bunch of dead Blues a blue base...that's about it."

Argent's blood runs cold, "Guys, get to higher ground NOW! If you hear a bugle, RUN FASTER!"

" Wait! Why?!"

Too late...

" CHARGE!"

"It was a failed experiment for a self-healing unit," Argent explains quickly. "The subjects all suffered massive mental deterioration! Short version, they're stupider than Caboose, and they can't die! So the army locked them all into Battle Creek!"

Simmons pales, and turns to Sarge" Oh...Sir we need to find higher ground...NOW..."

"SWEET GIBBLING GIBLETS!"Through the noise of combat Argent talks to them as she works with more wires, "I doubt Omega is there, he would have recruited those Nimrods, and they wouldn't be there. I'm going to reworks a teleported to bring you to me, just hang tight!"

Simmons takes off running toward s the cliffs." These people are nuts!"

"I know," Argent says testily. "Since they can't die they think they're living in a video game, playing round after round of Capture the Flag."

Simmons and Sarge finally make it to the cliff. "...Hey, um...Have you heard any thing from Avaline?..."

"Nothing yet, but she's a tough one. Don't worry Simmons she'll be fine."

" Alright..." he sighs sadly.

"Sheila, I need a layout of Battle Creek!"

"Affirmative." A map appears inside of her visor.

"… Okay guys, there's a teleporter on the back of either base, if you too can make it way too one of them and I will be able to make it from my end to bring you over." As an afterthought she adds, "Thank you Sheila."

" Your welcome."Simmons nods at Sarge," Okay, we need to get to a teleporter, there's one at every base."

Argent hesitates before connecting two wires, "Tell me when you guys get there, and I'll open the portal as soon as you give the signal."

" Alright!" Simmons nods and jumps off the cliff and heads to the closest base," Alright we're there. " Simmons says as they stop in front of the teleporter.

She connects the wires, "Alright, come through now!"

Simmons jumps though and stumbles when he gets though," Ah, Damnit who's idea was to put a step there?!"

"Don't ask me, I didn't build this place," Argent says as Sarge jumps through.

" Yeah well, it fucking sucks." He huffs.

"If you wanna see something that sucks then YOU go get chased by a homicidal Anti-Freelancer!"They turn to see Church griping on Winchester's shoulder.

Simmons perks up and runs over to her," Are you alright?!"

" Yes, I'm fine." She replies.

Argent tilts her head, "Anti-Freelancer? ...Oh my god, you ran into Maine?!"

" Yes, when I went though the teleporter, it took me to Reach. Carolina was there leading him on a false trail."

"Carolina?" Sarge looks between them, "You guys are seriously named after the states?"

Winchester nods," Also cards."

"I thought that was just us."

" No..."

"Ah, okay. Just an update, we put Sheila in my head, and gave Tex a robot body."

Winchester nods," Good, any word of where the others went? "

"Just yanked these two out of Battle Creek so we know where he's not," Argent replies, and heads for another teleporter. "Now let's see if we can't make contact with the others. Ready Sheila?"

" Yes." Sheila answers.

Winchester looks over at Church," Hey, I'm sorry about earlier. "

"Just do me a favor… Let's not talk about it, I would like to repress those memories if I can." Church shutters, and blinks out of sight.

" Very well." Winchester says. Simmons inches closer to her," So...What happened on Reach?"

" That's classified. "

"Naughty Winry, keeping secrets from your boyfriend," Argent teases.

Winchester rolls her eyes. Simmons blushes and fidgets with his rifle.

Argent notices his weapon, "Hey what happened to your... Oh, never mind!" She spots the rocket launcher on his back.

Simmons tilts his head," Okay...Uh, any luck on the teleporter?"

"Give me a minute Rocket Whore, we need to find the right one..."

Simmons grumbles and goes to stand by Winchester.

"Donut didn't get through with me for some reason," Argent reports as she plugs some wires into her armor. "It looks like you two were fine, but I think the others might be mixed up."

Simmons laughs," Good, maybe Griff go stuck with Dount!"

"And if Tucker got landed with Tex we might have an issue," Sarge comments. "We can't afford to be down a man, even a Blue man."

" True..." Simmons sighs,

"But I hold out hope that Griff landed with Tex, we can afford to lose him since he's less than half a man," Sarge continues,

" You can say that again Sir." Simmons says.

Church snarks, "Can it, Private Bitch."

" Shut up Church, no one asked you." Simmons says lowly.

Argent sighs, "Both of you can it, I need to concentrate... I hope they're okay..."

...

Donut chatters excitedly as he runs through the desert with Griff. "Wow this place is huge! And look at all the sun! Great time to work on our ya lines, eh Griff?"

Griff walks slowly behind him," Dear god...Someone kill me now..." he groans," How the fuck did I end up with you?"

"Oh come on Griff, it could be worse!"

" Oh really?! How?"

"We could be stuck out here with nothing! At least our suits are air-conditioned, and I have some water we can ration."

" Easy for you to say, the fans in your suit still work. I sweated so much they short-circuited."

"Wow, you sweat pretty easily then, don't you? Wait... You hear that?" He looks up.

" Hear what?" He also looks up. A spot of black appears in the sky, and steadily gets larger... Turning into a ship. A normal troop carrier from the looks of it. The pilot expertly lands with the rear ramp facing the pair, and a solider in light green armor steps into view.

"Hey there, names?"

" Dexter Griff...Um...Who the hell are you?"

"George," he replies. "George Travis. Kate sent a transmission not too long ago that some of her friends might have appeared out here. You two want a ride?"

"Do we ever!" Donut bolts for the transport.

Griff quickly follows," As long as we get away from this place I don't care!"

George touches a button on his helmet jaw, "Agent Georgia to Tennessee, and Alaska. Do you copy? Package has been retrieved intact."

"Copy that." Winchester answers.

"Thanks Travis!"

"No prob Kate, where should I drop these guys off at?"

"Let's see, we know he's not in Battle Creek, Blood Gulch, or the desert. Winry, what's that leave?"

" Sidewinder."

"Alright," Travis says. "We're on our way to the frozen north. Any gear I should bring from the Righteous Indignation?"

" Yes, bring pod 467. I have everything need in there." Winchester says.

"Roger that, Georgia out!" He turns to the other two, "Alright, strap in tight, we gotta take a quick detour into space."

Griff blinks," Space?...What's there?"

"A ship with a shitload of goodies," Travis responds, taking the pilots seat

...

Argent smiles, "Well we found Griff, and Donut in the desert guys. I guess that means Tex, and Tucker are in the north."

" Good, are you almost finished?" Winchester asks and crosses her arms

"Sheila, can you tell which of these heads to Sidewinder?"

" The on the left, two down."

"Got it, let's move people!" Argent jogs down the aforementioned teleporter.

Winchester follows behind her.

Simmons sighs, "Is it sad that two girls have more balls than us?"

"Simmons!" Sarge turns to him sharply, "You fuck, you should know better than to use that Knox of language in front of a lady!"

Church scoffs, "Oh please, if these two are ladies then I'm the fuck president!"

" Sir, I honestly think they could care less." Simmons turns to follow after the two Spartans, and switches to his rocket launcher.

Argent rolls out Into the snow, her Needlers pointed at her sides as she uses proximity scanners to search for enemies. "... Clear!"

Winchester lowers her rifle," Alright, we'll split into teams, Argent go with Sarge, I'll go with Simmons."

"If you wanted some alone time with him you could have just asked," Argent quips. "But okay. Sage and I will go security a landing point for Griff, and Donut."

"I knew I shoulda brought land mines," Sarge grumbles.

Winchester rolls her eyes and turns," Yeah...Come on Simmons, we'll check the bases first." She runs towards the said bases.

" Sure thing!" He takes off after her.

They've taken all of two steps when suddenly a sniper shot rips through Argent's midsection. "ARGH!"

Sarge raises his shotgun, looking in a circle, "Jumping James Bond, what was that?!"

Winchester shoves Sarge and Simmons behind a wall, and hisses at them," Stay down." She picks Argent up and carries her to cover." Church, set up my motion tracker. "

"Got it," Church whines, visions of Maine flashing before his eyes.

"Well well," a British voice calls. "Kate, Avaline, it has been too long!"

Argent's head jerks up, "That voice..."

"Wyoming..." Winchester growls as she narrows her eyes and cocks her sniper rifle

Argent tries to stand, her blood boiling, "Sheila, activate special equipment!"

" Church activate I.T." Winchester helps Argent to her feet.

"Activate what?"

Argent runs into the open, and a bullet bounces off he helmet."Oh bullocks... Got to go, TAH!"

"Get back here you British son of a bitch." Argent roars. "I'm going to rip out your guts, and fold you fifty-two times the wrong way while you're still twitching!"

Sarge stares at her, and then turns to Simmons, "Uh... I think they know each other..."

" The file!" Winchester snaps," We've been though this!"Simmons nods," Gee, ya think?"

"What?" Sarge turns to Simmons with a warning in his voice.

Simmons sighs," Gee, you think SIR."

"That's better!"

Church gets it ready, "What coordinates?"

Simmons rolls his eyes.

" In front of Wyoming, lets give a him a surprise. " Winchester says" Sure thing," Church replies, using proximity sensors to home in on Wyoming's position. A second later she's standing in the snow with him running right for her.

He skids to a stop a few feet away."Oh bloodly hell..."

Winchester smirks" Surprise bitch." She opens fire on him.

He rolls out of the way, tumbling down a snow bank. Suddenly the world fuzzes out of sight for a moment as Church teleports her to the top of a high rock, a steaming crater where she used to be standing."Damn, Winchester your suit is starting to get low on power. We have maybe three more jumps left!"

" Then lets make them count." She pulls out a fragment grenade and throws in down the snow back Wyoming fell down.

Wyoming rolls into a crouch, spotting the grenade. A quick shot from his sniper rifle sends it high into the air, making it explode as he takes cover behind a rock. Church shouts, "On your right!" A rocket flies at her.

Winchester rolls under it and slides behind rock. She reloads her rifle. Simmons turns to Sarge," We need to help her!"

"Sure, any ideas?"

Travis comes in on the radio, "Alaska, package is ready to send, but I need a beacon!"

" Well. We could draw them out, so I can blow them straight to hell." He waves the rocket launcher. Winchester pulls a disc out of one of the compartments in her armor and throws it out in the open." Alright Travis."

"Incoming!"Another pod, this one larger, slams into the cliff face, making a fissure. Then it cracks, and falls to pieces. Wyoming tumbles into sight, and then gets to his elbows. He freezes when he sees a pair of black boots in front of him."Today just isn't your day," Argent growls.

"Nor yours dear Kate," he chuckles, watching as Omega lines up a rocket on her from a vantage point high above. She looks over her shoulder just as he fires it.

Another rocket slams into and explodes, Simmons reloads," Fire in the hole!" He shoots at Omega. Winchester bolts to the pod and smirks, she sets her sniper rifle down and picks up another one. This one however was different, it was slightly longer at the barrel and had a bigger body and scope, although the biggest difference was the blade that was attached to the barrel. She picks up two more things and puts them on her hips." Church how long can we use the camouflage for?"

"Not sure, but since they have a pretty good distraction I think your good."

Wyoming raises to a crouch, putting his gun into Argent's gut, and pulling the trigger. The gun explodes in his hand, and only his own armor saves him from injury."I... See you have a new AI," Wyoming notes. "But you can't even hit me with it activated."

"No, but I can," Tex says as she shuts off he invisibility, and grabs him by the throat.

Sarge nods to Simmons, "Lock on to that Omega guy, and let her rip!"

Winchester runs over to Argent and helps her stand," Can you handle him for a bit?" She asks Tex.

" On it Sir." Simmons aims at the said A.I. and waits a few seconds and shoots.

"I am not some amateur," Tex replies as she picks Wyoming up off the ground, and kicks him a few yards away in the snow. She then struts after him, her fists balled, and ready to use them.

Omega sees the rocket coming, and throws a sticky frag grenade on it before dodging it. As it circles around to nail him the grenade explodes, and Omega lands on the next story down of the fortress. Winchester sets Argent down gently, " Are you only hit once?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," she snaps, itching for a to at Wyoming.

Omega laughs, /"Ah you absolute idiots! I have contaminated this bafoon's mind completely! There is no hope of saving him!/ I just hope someone saved me some cookies at the big windmill. /Oh shut up you fool!/

"

"Alright then, that's all I needed to hear." She hands her hammer to her," As much as I want to kill him, you and Tex can take care of Wyoming. I'll get Omega."

" Yeah, It sure sounds like." Simmons says sarcastically as he reloads.

Argent nods, "Synch?"

Omega groans, /Well he's obedient if nothing else, and much stronger then YOU my dear Tex!/"

"WHAT?!" She turns sharply to Omega, dropping Wyoming.

" Synch." Winchester turns to Omega and leavls her sniper rifle," Don't listen to him Tex, he's trying to get under your skin." She shoots him though the shoulder and arm.

"Ow." Caboose complains /"Oh be quiet you fool! A little orange juice, and you'll be fine!"

Argent ignores the pain in her gut as she shouts, "Hey Tex, PULL!"Tex hefts Wyoming, and throws him high in the air. Argent rears back her hammer like a spear, and throws it, hitting him dead on. There's an explosion of blue energy, and the white Freelancer is sent flying out of sight.

Winchester throws a grenade at Omega," Simmons shoot!". Simmons does just that and locks on on, he pulls the trigger, the rocket flies at omega.

Omega swings his rocket launcher at the grenade, batting it into the rocket so they both explode. "Lopez! Activate the Weather Control device!"

" Okay." The ground shakes slightly as wierd symbols appear around Omeaga.

Sarge curses, "By the power of Odin! He discovered our secret weapon! I built a weather machine into Lopez, but I was missing one crucial piece of technology to make it work!"

"Yes, and now that I have those D batteries nothing will stop me!"

Simmons stares at him," You made one of the most powerful devices of all time,... AND WAS MISSING D BATTERIES!?"

"I could find them at the gas stations, and they're so dang expensive there!"

Tex stares at him, "...I'm just going to pretend that makes sense."

" The device is in Lopez right? What if I just shoot him?" Winchester asks.

"Won't work," Sarge replies. "It heats his body to such an extent that your bullets would vaporize on contact!"

Winchester lower her rifle and puts it on her back," How can we stop it?"

Sarge chuckles, "Luckily I brought a failsafe, just in case..." He pulls a bomb the size of a bowling ball out from behind his back, "Now I just need Donut to... Wait, where IS Donut?"

Donut groans as he climbs out of the pod that Winchester's new rifle was in. "That is the last time I fly coach..."

Winchester turns to him, "Found him."

Donut waves, "I'm okay! Griff is still unconscious though..."

" Oh well, who cares." Simmons says flatly

Sarge hands Donut the bomb, "Donut this hear is a fifty megaton nuclear explosive, and I need you to throw it at Lopez!"

Dount nods," Sure thing Sarge!" He takes a step forward and grunts as he throws it with all his might. Winchester nods in approval," Nice arm."

" Thanks!"

Tex deadpans, "You just threw... A nuclear bomb... While we're still IN RANGE?!"

" Relax! I'm sure Sarge has a remote detonator...Right?" Dount slowly turns to him.

"Uh... A what now?"

" Goddamnit." Winchester curses before the bomb goes off.

Argent reaches for Winchester moments before the world turns white...


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter eleven**

When the light fades Sarge sits up with a groan, "Oh Docs, and Deloreans, what happened...?" He looks around at the sandy desert, and gasps, "Holy Moses!"

Donut grouns from where he landed on top of Griff and looks up slightly.

Winchester sits up and looks around.

Simmons does a quick head count. "Uh... Where's Tex, and Argent? And what about Tucker?Winchester slow gets to her feet ," I'm not sure, its possible we got separated. "

Sarge stumbles to his feet, "Forget them, did we get Omega?!"

Winchester fades into sight in the middle of a grassy field. She shakes head head a little and looks around, "Church? You still there?"

"Yeah… still here," he says, appearing in the air beside her. "Where are we?"

"...I'm not sure..." She walks to a cliff that the field ends at," Holy..." Over the cliff is a city, it's cluttered with people and vehicles.

"Well… I gotta say that it's good to see civilization again," Church says, already programming coordinates into her suit for the city.

Winchester takes another look at the city before she disappears. Little does she know she has eyes on her already…

…

"Hey Rocket Whore, CATCH!" Argent tosses Simmons a rocket launcher.

Simmons barely catches it and looks up at her, you could just see the offended expression on his face, "Rocket Whore...?"

"It's a nickname Spartan Soldiers give soldiers that specialize in a rocket launcher," Argent explains. "That one has heat seeking so you might have some fun with that."

" Oh...Well alright." He shrugs and puts It over his shoulder.

Argent nods as she roots through her weapons rack, "We have other nicknames too. We call Snipers "Campers," and the grenade-happy people "Fruit"... though that has a double meaning in this case…" She looks at Donut, "Not judging though, since I'm straight as a pretzel."

Tucker picks up a plasma rifle, "What's this one?" He pulls the trigger and jumps when a bolt of blue energy shoots out.

"A bit of Covenant weaponry I got once upon a Fourth of July. I think there's a plasma sword in there too, but it doesn't have much of a charge. My buddy Crunchbite told me their kind has legends of a sword with eternal power, but no one has ever managed to find it." She pulls out a box of shotgun shells, and slides them across the roof to Sarge.

He picks it up and loads his shotgun and cocks it," Alright lets kick some A.I. ass."

Tex flexes the fingers of her new body, and punches a fist into a palm while cracking her neck. "Alright then. She picks up a Spartan Laser, "Where did you get this thing?"

"I made it," Argent says. "It was my idea of a science fair project. Think of it as a laser pointer… that points things INTO OBLIVION! It takes three seconds to charge a shot, and only has five per ammo battery though."

"Some of these are pretty kick-ass!" Tucker puts his battle rifle on his back and goes with the plasma rifle.

Argent shrugs, "I guess that's what happens when you dad… uh… really knows guns!"

Griff picks up a pistol with a bulky cylinder on the end, "What's this thing?"

"Oh we just call that the Hand Buster."

Griff gulps, and holds his finger as far away from the trigger as possible, "Why…?"

"Because it shoots a delayed magnetic grenade. The longer you hold the trigger the longer the delay. Also when it finally goes off it can destroy a tank… speaking of which." She walks over to the laptop on the ground, and after looking at the screen she pulls out a chip, inserting it into her helmet. "How is it in there Sheila? I hope the conversion process wasn't too rough."

"Not nearly as roomie as the tank, but it will do."

"Aw, tell you what, once we get rid of Omega then I'll send you to my ship, you can help travis as the onboard computer AI, he's been begging for one forever."

" Oh yes! That would be wonderful, thank you."

"Don't mention it Sheila, what are lady-friends for?" She turns to the group, "Alright, everyone locked, and loaded?"

" Yup!" They all say at the same time.

"Alright, then let's try going through in pairs. We can't know for sure where they went so we need to try every location on this planet first. I already called my superior, and she's going to get back to us on the off-world location. Simmons, you go with Sarge. Tucker, you go with Griff. Donut, you come with me. Tex will you be fine on your own?"

"Of course," Tex says.

Tucker goes over to Griff, and Simmons goes to Sarge. One by one the pairs go through the teleporter until Blood Gulch is empty as a tomb.

…

Church looks around, "Well damn, this place is kinda nice."

Winchester nods," Yeah...It really is..."

_So this is what me, Argent, and dad protect?...Mmmmmmm..._

Church is an image inside her visor, figuring he might scare people if they could see right through him. Suddenly his head jerks to the side as a hand grabs Winchester by the chestplate. The next thing she knows she's dragged out of sight faster than one might think possible, and slammed against a wall.

"What the hell are you doing here," Carolina hisses at her.

Winchester reflex kicks in and she flips them with a knife to her neck." Who-Carolina?" She back away," I was going after Omega, and ended up here."

Church appears, "Who is this?"

Carolina glances at him, and then burns holes in Winchester with her eyes, "You brought the Alpha _here?!" _She glances around quickly.

"It's not like I planned this!" Winchester growls

"Planned or not you have a huge target on your back now," Carolina growls right back. "_HE _is here, I've been leading him on a false trail!"

" I'll figure something out." Winchester sighs angrily.

Church glances between them, "He who? And why did she call me Alpha?"

Winchester sighs and glances and Carolina, " Do you want me to tell him?"

"No, I want you off of Reach this minute," Carolina replies. "If we can get you enough power into your suit you may be able to teleport back to Blood Gulch."

"Where would we get enough power to do that?"

"There's a power plant south of the city, that should do," Carolina replies. "Now we need to get out of here before he decides to storm the city."

"WHO'S 'HE'?! For the love of God, can you at least tell me that?!" Church flickers red for a moment.

" I'm sorry Church, I can't tell you." Winchester says sincerely.

"...I think I liked being in Argent's head better. I hope Tex is doing okay."

"Tex?" Carolina turns to Winchester, "You can tell me what happened as we move." She hits a transponder on her wrist, and a Mongoose rides up to the end of the alley.

Winchester stays silent and climbs on the back of the Mongoose. Carolina revs the engine, and they start driving for the south end of the city.

Church says, "I'm not helping until you tell me who 'He' is supposed to be."

" Lets just say...he's a bad guy, and wants us dead." Winchester says.

"Yeah, like you'd be running from someone who wants to give you a BIIIIIG hug! How about a straight answer now?"

Carolina groans, "Fine, his name is Agent Maine, he's a rogue Freelancer that attacks other Freelancers for their AI units, and equipment."

"Now that is a real answer!" Church pauses, "...Wait, a freelancer hunting other freelancers? Scary…"

"You don't know the half of it," Carolina replies.

Winchester takes a deep breath and looks around her. She doesn't see any sign of him yet though…

They eventually get to the power station, without incident thankfully. Carolina checks the fuel gage, "Fuck, needs gas now…"

Winchester hops off the back and walks to the gate and kicks it down, "Alright."

Suddenly there's an explosion that knocks Winchester to the right. She looks over her shoulder in time to see a figure in white armor with orange highlights jump off a cliff. He has a Brute Shot in his hands, and his helmet is mostly visor, almost like a dome. When he hits the ground it cracks under him, and his makes a growling hiss in his throat.

Church gulps, "Maine?"

Winchester rolls to her feet and narrows her eyes, "Church, whatever you do, _please_ do not show yourself." She cocks her sniper rifle.

"Trust me, _not _a problem!"

Carolina draws her pistol, and blasts it at Maine a few times, "GO! GO!" Maine calmly turns to her, and blows up her Mongoose.

Winchester bolts inside the power plant and looks for a hook up, she growls when she doesn't find one and bolts down another hall. Outside there is a ton of gunfire, and explosions that spur her on even faster.

She finally finds one and yanks the wire from the wall and hooks it to her armor, " Church get ready."

"Right, where to?"

Maine's fist slams through a three-inch metal door.

"HOLY HELL!" Church starts to panic

"Blood gulch!"

"On it!" The world fades just as Agent Maine unloads his weapon into the door, blowing it to shrapnel.

…

Argent appear in a large room filled with portals. SHe looks around for Donut, but doesn't see him. "...Sheila, any idea where we are?"

"Negative."

"Perfect," she says. "Can you help me try to patch in to the others?"

"Negative, but you could do something with the teleporter."

"Good idea, these things probably go just about anywhere so if I send a radio signal on the same frequency as the teleporter I might get a signal through," she says, and kneels by one of them. "I just hope the others can hold on long enough for me to find them."

"Affirmative, and I'm sure they will be okay."

"I'm not so sure Sheila, I assigned pairs based on efficiency. Since Donut isn't here the others could be anywhere, in any order. That could spell trouble six out of ten times." She opens a panel, and starts messing with the wiring.

" Mmmmmm...I suppose you are right. Oh well."

"I guess I can see why you don't care much, the only ones that really treated you like a person were Caboose, Win, and me, right?"

"...And Agent Texas. And thank you for that."

"No problem," Argent sparks a few wires together. "If my daddy taught me anything it's that just because you don't have blood in your veins that doesn't make you any less of a person. Well, that, and how to rip apart eight different species with your bare hands."

"Your father sounds like a smart man, may I ask what his name is?"

Argent smiles, "...Alright, but it has to remain top-secret okay?"

"Affirmative."

Argent giggles, "...His name is John-117."

Sheila stays quiet for a moment," You mean _the_ John- 117, AKA Master Chief?!"

"The one, and only," Argent replies. "Kinda fills a few plotholes, huh? And how many dads would beat a Covenant Brute to death so he could give a 13-year-old a Gravity Hammer for her birthday?"

" I'm guessing only one."

"Exactly. After the first Covenants were taken down the UNSC decided to try and replicate that particular super-soldier. So they took his DNA from the field Medics, and cloned him. What they got was me, and Winchester. We out of a few hundred clones survived, and somehow she's more keen on being BFFs than sisters." She hooks some wires into her suit, "Hold on a sec Sheila. YO! Anyone over there?!"

No answer…

"Hm...Sheila, try alternating the signal frequency, see if we get a lucky hit."

There's a bit of static before Simmons voice sounds, "Sir I don't know where we are for the last fucking time."

"Simmons? This is Argent, do you read me?"

"Huh? Argent? Is that you?"

"Yeah I just said it was me. Is Sarge there with you?"

"Oh, sorry. Yeah he's here."

"Good, where are you guys? I mean, what can you see?"

"We're standing in a river...there's a bunch of dead Blues a blue base...that's about it."

Argent's blood runs cold, "Guys, get to higher ground NOW! If you hear a bugle, RUN FASTER!"

" Wait! Why?!"

Too late...

" CHARGE!"

"It was a failed experiment for a self-healing unit," Argent explains quickly. "The subjects all suffered massive mental deterioration! Short version, they're stupider than Caboose, and they can't die! So the army locked them all into Battle Creek!"

Simmons pales, and turns to Sarge" Oh...Sir we need to find higher ground...NOW..."

"SWEET GIBBLING GIBLETS!"Through the noise of combat Argent talks to them as she works with more wires, "I doubt Omega is there, he would have recruited those Nimrods, and they wouldn't be there. I'm going to reworks a teleported to bring you to me, just hang tight!"

Simmons takes off running toward s the cliffs." These people are nuts!"

"I know," Argent says testily. "Since they can't die they think they're living in a video game, playing round after round of Capture the Flag."

Simmons and Sarge finilly make it to the cliff. "...Hey, um...Have you heard any thing from Avaline?..."

"Nothing yet, but she's a tough one. Don't worry Simmons she'll be fine."

" Alright..." he sighs sadly.

"Sheila, I need a layout of Battle Creek!"

"Affermitive." A map appears inside of her visor.

"… Okay guys, there's a teleporter on the back of either base, if you too can make it way too one of them and I will be able to make it from my end to bring you over." As an afterthought she adds, "Thank you Sheila."

" Your welcome."Simmons nods at Sarge," Okay, we need to get to a teliporter, there's one at every base."

Argent hesitates before connecting two wires, "Tell me when you guys get there, and I'll open the portal as soon as you give the signal."

" Alright!" Simmons nods and jumps off the cliff and heads the the closest base," Alright we're there. " Simmons says as they stop in front of the teliporter.

She connects the wires, "Alright, come through now!"

Simmons jumps though and stumbles when he gets though," Ah, damnit whos idea was to put a step there?!"

"Don't ask me, I didn't build this place," Argent says as Sarge jumps through.

" Yeah well, it fucking sucks." He huffs.

"If you wanna see something that sucks then YOU go get chased by a homicidal Anti-Freelancer!"They turn to see Chruch griping on Winchester's shoulder.

Simmons perks up and runs over to her," Are you alright?!"

" Yes, I'm fine." She replies.

Argent tilts her head, "Anti-Freelancer? ...Oh my god, you ran into Maine?!"

" Yes, when I went though the teliporter, it took me to Reach. Carolina was there leading him on a false trail."

"Carolina?" Sarge looks between them, "You guys are seriously named after the states?"

Winchester nods," Also cards."

"I thought that was just us."

" No..."

"Ah, okay. Just an update, we put Sheila in my head, and gave Tex a robot body."

Winchester nods," Good, any word of where the others went? "

"Just yanked these two out of Battle Creek so we know where he's not," Argent replies, and heads for another teleporter. "Now let's see if we can't make contact with the others. Ready Sheila?"

" Yes." Sheila anwsers.

Winchester looks over at Church," Hey, I'm sorry about earlier. "

"Just do me a favor… Let's not talk about it, I would like to repress those memories if I can." Church shutters, and blinks out of sight.

" Very well." Winchester inches closer to her her," So...What happened on Reach?"

" That's classified. "

"Naughty Winry, keeping secrets from your boyfriend," Argent teases.

Winchester rolls her eyes. Simmons blushes and fidgets with his rifle.

Argent notices his weapon, "Hey what happened to your... Oh, never mind!" She spots the rocket launcher on his back.

Simmons tilts his head," Okay...Uh, any luck on the teliporter?"

"Give me a minute Rocket Whore, we need to find the right one..."

Simmons grumbles and goes to stand by Winchester.

"Donut didn't get through with me for some reason," Argent reports as she plugs some wires into her armor. "It looks like you two were fine, but I think the others might be mixed up."

Simmons laughs," Good, maybe Griff go stuck with Dount!"

"And if Tucker got landed with Tex we might have an issue," Sarge comments. "We can't afford to be down a man, even a Blue man."

" True..." Simmons sighs,

"But I hold out hope that Griff landed wih Tex, we can afford to lose him since he's less than half a man," Sarge continues,

" You can say that again Sir." Simmons says.

Church snarks, "Can it, Private Bitch."

" Shut up Church, no one asked you." Simmons says lowly.

Argent sighs, "Both of you can it, I need to concentrate... I hope they're okay..."

...

Donut chatters excitedly as he runs through the desert with Griff. "Wow this place is huge! And look at all the sun! Great time to work on our ya lines, eh Griff?"

Griff walks slowly behind him," Dear god...Someone kill me now..." he grouns," How the fuck did I end up with you?"

"Oh come on Griff, it could be worse!"

" Oh really?! How?"

"We could be stuck out here with nothing! At least our suits are air-conditioned, and I have some water we can ration."

" Easy for you to say, the fans in your suit still work. I sweated so much they short-circuited."

"Wow, you sweat pretty easily then, don't you? Wait... You hear that?" He looks up.

" Hear what?" He also looks up. A spot of black appears in the sky, and steadily gets larger... Turning into a ship. A normal troop carrier from the looks of it. The pilot expertly lands with the rear ramp facing the pair, and a solider in light green armor steps into view.

"Hey there, names?"

" Dexter Grif...Um...Who the hell are you?"

"George," he replies. "George Travis. Kate sent a transmission not too long ago that some of her friends might have appeared out here. You two want a ride?"

"Do we ever!" Donut bolts for the transport.

Griff quickly follows," As long as we get away from this place I don't care!"

George touches a button on his helmet jaw, "Agent Georgia to Tennessee, and Alaska. Do you copy? Package has been retrieved intact."

"Copy that." Winchester anwsers.

"Thanks Travis!"

"No prob Kate, where should I drop these guys off at?"

"Let's see, we know he's not in Battle Creek, Blood Gulch, or the desert. Winry, what's that leave?"

" Sidewinder."

"Alright," Travis says. "We're on our way to the frozen north. Any gear I should bring from the Righteous Indignation?"

" Yes, bring pod 467. I have everythingI need in there." Winchester says.

"Roger that, Georgia out!" He turns to the other two, "Alright, strap in tight, we gotta take a quick detour into space."

Griff blinks," Space?...What's there?"

"A ship with a shitload of goodies," Travis responds, taking the pilots seat

...

Argent smiles, "Well we found Griff, and Donut in the desert guys. I guess that means Tex, and Tucker are in the north."

" Good, are you almost finished?" Winchester asks and crosses her arms

"Sheila, can you tell which of these heads to Sidewinder?"

" The on the left, two down."

"Got it, let's move people!" Argent jogs down the aforementioned teleporter.

Winchester follows behind her.

Simmons sighs, "Is it sad that two girls have more balls than us?"

"Simmons!" Sarge turns to him sharply, "You fuck, you should know better than to use that Knox of language in front of a lady!"

Church scoffs, "Oh please, if these two are ladies then I'm the fuck president!"

" Sir, I honestly think they could care less." Simmons turns to follow after the two spartans, and switchs to his rocket launcher.

Argent rolls out Into the snow, her needlers pointed at her sides as she uses proximity scanners to search for enemies. "... Clear!"

Winchester lowers her rifle," Alright, we'll split into teams, Argent go with Sarge, I'll go with Simmons."

"If you wanted some alone time with him you could have just asked," Argent quips. "But okay. Sage and I will go security a landing point for Griff, and Donut."

"I knew I shoulda brought land mines," Sarge grumbles.

Winchester rolls her eyes and turns,"Yeah...Come on Simmons, we'll check the bases first." She runs towards the said bases.

" Sure thing!" He takes off after her.

They've taken all of two steps when suddenly a sniper shot rips through Argent's midsection. "ARGH!"

Sarge raises his shotgun, looking in a circle, "Jumping James Bond, what was that?!"

Winchester shoves Sarge and Simmons behind a wall, and hisses at them," Stay down." She picks Argent up and carries her to cover." Church, set up my motion tracker. "

"Got it," Church whines, visions of Maine flashing before his eyes.

"Well well," a British voice calls. "Kate, Avaline, it has been too long!"

Argent's head jerks up, "That voice..."

"Wyoming..." Winchester growls as she narrows her eyes and cocks her sniper rifle

Argent tries to stand, her blood boiling, "Sheila, activate special equipment!"

" Church activate I.T." Winchester helps Argent to her feet.

"Activate what?"

Argent runs into the open, and a bullet bounces off he helmet."Oh ballocks... Got to go, TAH!"

"Get back here you British son of a bitch." Argent roars. "I'm going to rip out your guts, and fold you fifty-two times the wrong way while you're still twitching!"

Sarge stares at her, and then turns to Simmons, "Uh... I think they know each other..."

" The file!" Winchester snaps," We've been though this!"Simmons nods," Gee, ya think?"

"What?" Sarge turns to Simmons with a warning in his voice.

Simmons sighs," Gee, you think SIR."

"That's better!"

Church gets it ready, "What coordinates?"

Simmons rolls his eyes.

" In front of Wyoming, lets give a him a surprise. " Winchester says"Sure thing," Church replies, using proximity sensors to home in on Wyoming's position. A second later she's standing in the snow with him running right for her.

He skids to a stop a few feet away."Oh bloodly hell..."

Winchester smirks" Surprise bitch." She opens fire on him.

He rolls out of the way, tumbling down a snow bank. Suddenly the world fuzzes out of sight for a moment as Church teleports her to the top of a high rock, a steaming crater where she used to be standing."Damn, Winchester your suit is starting to get low on power. We have maybe three more jumps left!"

" Then lets make them count." She pulls out a fragment grenade and throws in down the snow back Wyoming fell down.

Wyoming rolls into a crouch, spotting the grenade. A quick shot from his sniper rifle sends it high into the air, making it explode as he takes cover behind a shouts, "On your right!" A rocket flies at her.

Winchester rolls under it and slides behind rock. She reloads her turns to Sarge," We need to help her!"

"Sure, any ideas?"

Travis comes in on the radio, "Alaska, package is ready to send, but I need a beacon!"

" Well. We could draw them out, so I can blow them straight to hell." He waves the rocket pulls a disc out of one of the compartments in her armor and throws it out in the open." Alright Travis."

"Incoming!"Another pod, this one larger, slams into the cliff face, making a fissure. Then it cracks, and falls to pieces. Wyoming tumbles into sight, and then gets to his elbows. He freezes when he sees a pair of black boots in front of him."Today just isn't your day," Argent growls.

"Nor yours dear Kate," he chuckles, watching as Omega lines up a rocket on her from a vantage point high above. She looks over her shoulder just as he fires it.

Anouther rocket slams into and explodes, Simmons reloads," Fire in the hole!" He shoots at Omaga. Winchester bolts to the pod and smirks, she sets her sniper rifle down and picks up another one. This one however was different, it was slightly longer at the barrel and had a bigger body and scope, although the biggest difference was the blade that was attached to the barral. She picks up two more things and puts them on her hips." Church how long can we use the ccamouflage for?"

"Not sure, but since they have a pretty good distraction I think your good."

Wyoming raises to a crouch, putting his gun into Argent's gut, and pulling the trigger. The gun explodes in his hand, and only his own armor saves him from injury."I... See you have a new AI," Wyoming notes. "But you can't even hit me with it activated."

"No, but I can," Tex says as she shuts off he invisibility, and grabs him by the throat.

Sarge nods to Simmons, "Lock on to that Omega guy, and let her rip!"

Winchester runs over to Argent and helps her stand," Can you handle him for a bit?" She asks Tex.

" On it Sir." Simmons aims at the said A.I. and waits a few seconds and shoots.

"I am not some amateur," Tex replies as she picks Wyoming up off the ground, and kicks him a few yards away in the snow. She then struts after him, her fists balled, and ready to use them.

Omega sees the rocket coming, and throws a sticky frag grenade on it before dodging it. As it circles around to nail him the grenade explodes, and Omega lands on the next story down of the sets Argent down gently, " Are you only hit once?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," she snaps, itching for a to at Wyoming.

Omega laughs, /"Ah you absolute idiots! I have contaminated this bafoon's mind completely! There is no hope of saving him!/ I just hope someone saved me some cookies at the big windmill. /Oh shut up you fool!/

"

"Alright then, that's all I needed to hear." She hands her hammer to her," As much as I want to kill him, you and Tex can take care of Wyoming. I'll get Omega."

" Yeah, It sure sounds like." Simmons says sarcastically as he reloads.

Argent nods, "Synch?"

Omega groans, /Well he's obedient if nothing else, and much stronger then YOU my dear Tex!/"

"WHAT?!" She turns sharply to Omega, dropping Wyoming.

" Synch." Winchester turns to Omega and leavls her sniper rifle," Don't listen to him Tex, he's trying to get under your skin." She shoots him though the shoulder and arm.

"Ow." Caboose complains /"Oh be quiet you fool! A little orange juice, and you'll be fine!"

Argent ignores the pain in her gut as she shouts, "Hey Tex, PULL!"Tex hefts Wyoming, and throws him high in the air. Argent rears back her hammer like a spear, and throws it, hitting him dead on. There's an explosion of blue energy, and the white Freelancer is sent flying out of sight.

Winchester throws a grenade at Omega," Simmons shoot!". Simmons does just that and locks on on, he pulls the trigger, the rocket flies at omega.

Omega swings his rocket launcher at the grenade, batting it into the rocket so they both explode. "Lopez! Activate the Weather Control device!"

" Okay." The ground shakes slightly as wierd symbols appear around Omeaga.

Sarge curses, "By the power of Odin! He discovered our secret weapon! I built a weather machine into Lopez, but I was missing one crucial piece of technology to make it work!"

"Yes, and now that I have those D batteries nothing will stop me!"

Simmons stares at him," You made one of the most powerful devices of all time,... AND WAS MISSING D BATTERIES!?"

"I could find them at the gass stations, and they're so dang expensive there!"

Tex stares at him, "...I'm just going to pretend that makes sense."

" The device is in lopez right? What if I just shoot him?" Winchester asks.

"Won't work," Sarge replies. "It heats his body to such an extent that your bullets would vaporize on contact!"

Winchester lower her rifle and puts it on her back," How can we stop it?"

Sarge chuckles, "Luckily I brought a failsafe, just in case..." He pulls a bomb the size of a bowling ball out from behind his back, "Now I just need Donut to... Wait, where IS Donut?"

Donut groans as he climbs out of the pod that Winchester's new rifle was in. "That is the last time I fly coach..."

Winchester turns to him,"Found him."

Donut waves, "I'm okay! Griff is still unconscious though..."

" Oh well, who cares." Simmons says flatly

Sarge hands Donut the bomb, "Donut this hear is a fifty megaton nuclear explosive, and I need you to throw it at Lopez!"

Dount nods," Sure thing Sarge!" He takes a steo forward and grunts as he throws it with all his nods in approval," Nice arm."

" Thanks!"

Tex deadpans, "You just threw... A nuclear bomb... While we're still IN RANGE?!"

" Relax! I'm sure Sarge has a remote detonator...Right?" Dount slowly turns to him.

"Uh... A what now?"

" Goddamnit." Winchester curses before the bomb gose off.

Argent reaches for Winchester moments before the world turns white...

mega? What about Lopez, and Caboose? Are they dead yet?"

" Let me try the radio." Winchester says," Lopez, do you copy, Lopez? This is Winchester. "

Silence...

Winchester sighs," I've got nothing...Although we could try the long distance radio, but I'd need a vehicle for that."

Griff groans, "Ow... Donut how long have you been there?"

Dount looks down at the Orange soldier under him," Oh! Hey Griff!"

"GET OFF ME!" Griff shoves him to the side.

" OMPH! Hey! You could of just asked." He gets up and dusts himself off.

Winchester ignores them and taps her helmet," Church?"

" Y-Yesh, I'm s-still h-here..." Churchs staicing form appears. Winchester pulls out a chip from the back of her helment and looks at it. It sparks slightly and blinks. Winchester sighs,"Great...My A.I. chip is damaged. "

Sarge turns to her, "AI chip? Why should that matter? He's a ghost ain't he?"

" Yes...But its what he's using to live in my head..So..." She lies though her teeth. She turns to Simmons," Can you fix it?"

"Hey I may be smart, but I don't know squat about AI tech," Simmons replies. "Besides, there's nothing here for me to to use on it."

Sarge studies the chip, "Hey hang on, don't we all have one of these in our armor?"

" Very well...And yes you should, but I belive command removed them from lower ranking officers. ."

Sarge pulls a chip out of his helmet, "Here, take mine. We can't have Church passing on just yet."

Simmons takes the chip from Sarge, and walks over to Winchester.

Winchester holds out her chip and presses a small button, Church's small form jumps to the new chip and appears over it," Man, lets not do that again, all I saw was stadic and I thought I died again..."

" No worries Church, I've got your back." Winchester says.

Griff appears over a dune, "Hey guys! I snuck off to find a place to nap, and look what I found!"

" What is it?" Winchester turns to him as Church dissappears in her helment.

"Just come check it out!" He turns, and runs out of sight.

Sarge chases after him, "It must be good, Griff doesn't even run when it's chow-time."

Winchester follows with her rifle rasied.

Griff stands next to a busted up pair of Warthogs, "Awesome, right?"

Winchester walks up to one and picks it up like a slice of bread," Sarge start working on getting one of these running,Simmons help him. Griff, Dount, your with me." She sets the jeep down away from the rest a little bit," Will this one do?"

"Help... Me..."

"Okay," Simmons says, and starts walking over to Winchester.

Suddenly the second Warthog rolls over on top of him as Caboose crawls his way out of the sand."Wow... It's REALLY stuffy down there. Kinda hard to breathe too... And it's hot, kinda like up here! Maybe it's because we're in the desert- OH MY GOD LOOK AT ALL THE SAND!"

Winchester quickly rolls the jeep off Simmons," Are you alright? "

Dount perks," Caboose your back!"

"And my front," Caboose agrees. "Wait? What's on my back? Is it a spider? I HATE SPIDERS, GET IT OFF!"

Simmons is WAY out of it, "Mommy? Is it cookie time?"

Dount waves his hands," No, no, no! It was expression!"

Winchester sighs and takes off her helment," Church can you find out where we are?"

"The bubkiss middle of nowhere," Church mutters."GET IT OFF!"Church watches Cboose roll past them on the sand, "Oh yeah, and Caboose is back... Perfect... Well at least Omega is gone."

" We don't know that for sure." Winchester says, she turns to the others," I'm going to go scout."

Dount blinks," We're in the middle of no where! What's there to scout?"

Winchester points to the jeeps." Those had to get here somehow, and looking at the dash, These were destroyed about twenty-four hours ago."

" How do you know that?"

" The clock on the dash dummy. And the people ccouldn't of got far, so lets get going."

"Maybe there are footprints we can follow," Caboose suggests.

" We are in the desert Caboose, there will be no foot prints." Winchester says," And even if there were, it won't be that easy. " she turns and begins walking. "Maybe they had a map in the jeep? Or maybe they left behind a GPS! Or maybe-"

"Okay, shut up Caboose," Griff stops," You know...Thats not a bad idea, Simmons, are you out of your daze yet?"

"I can has cheeseburger..."Winchester sighs and gose back to the Pair of Warhogs and sits in the drivers seat, she rips the panel from under the striving wheel off and begins moving wires ariund.

Sarge walks up, "What are you doing?"

" M-12-lRV jeeps are equipped with GPS trackers, and those, obviously are programed where they were going." Winchester says. She fiddles with th me wires for a couple mire minutes, then gets out if the seat.

Sarge scoffs, "Idiots, if their jeep broke down in the middle of the desert why didn't they take their GPS with them?"

" Alright I've got the directions, and we won't make it on foot, now get working on this thing."

Simmons points, "Soldier! You're out of uniform! Put on some pants!"

Griff sighs, "Can someone make him snap out of it?"

Simmons turns to Griff, "What? I was talking to Donut."

Winchester looks over at him before quickly looking away from him.

Dount smiles from beside his discarded armour...and shirt...and pants." Come on guys! The sun feels great!"

"Permission to shoot Donut, Sir?"

"Permission denied Simmons, we need that Fairy to keep our team statistics in balance!"

Dount turns on his stomach and hums sighs and begins to work on the jeep, luckly, there was a small took kit in the back of it.

Dount begs," Come on! Surely one of you wants to join me! Winchester? Do you?" He pause for second then grin evily," I'm sure Simmons wouldn't mind if you did."

"Donut, as true as that may be, now is not the time!"

Griff turns to Simmons, "You do realize that you just admitted to wanting to ogle Winchester when she's right there, right?"

"Of course I do, I'm not stupid," Simmons replies. "And yeah, I guess in hindsight that was... Out there... But honesty is important in any relationship."

Griff sighs, "There is such a thing as being too honest, Simmons, like how Sarge talks about how he feels about me."

"Griff I want you to go to Vegas so you can get brutally raped, and/or murdered," Sarge says."See?"

" Aw!~ Simmons and Win sitting in a tree K-I-s-s-I-n-g."

" Silence Dount." Winchester barks.

Dount giggles," You know its true!~"

Griff pipes up, "Hey I have an idea! Why don't you go see if Caboose wants to have a staring contest?"

Dount get to his feet," Good idea!"

Winchester shakes her head and sighs.

Caboose runs over a sand dune, "Guys! Guys! Come see what I found!"

"Deja Vu," Griff mutters.

Dount pouts and puts his armor back looks up and sets down her tools.

"I found shelter! I am the greatest! ...And I found Tucker too, but I still found shelter so we're going to be okay!"

Winchester nods," Good." She picks up the jeep and follows Caboose.

Over a wall of sand dunes they can see the ocean not too far away, and off to the right is a fortress set against the cliffs with a giant windmill.

Dount gawks," This is amazing!"

"Yes, yes I am," Caboose agrees.

Sarge whoops, "Great! I bet there's clean water, and food in there! We're gonna need it after the last few thousand years!"

Simmons tilts his head, "What?"

"Come on Simmons, it's so obvious! When the bomb went off we were in a frozen wasteland. Now we're in the desert! That means the ice age is over! Clearly when the bomb went off next to Lopez with the Weather Machine activated it caused an explosion so ginormous that it destroyed the present! Sending us far, FAR into the future!"

Winchester stares at Sarge," That's absured."

"Can it you Sneak," he snaps as he starts jogging down the hill.

MEANWHILE, IN THE PAST…

Argent waves through the freshly melted snow, her equipment having saved her life. She looks around, but cannot see anyone. "Sheila, can you detect any homing beacons?"

" Negative." Comes the response.

"... That does not make much sense… Dad made those things nearly indestructible, that way if we died even in a nuclear explosion he would be able to find our bodies, and give us a proper burial."

"Would you like me to check again?"

"Okay, please," Argent says as she radios Travis.

" Scaning...No becans detected." Sheila appears next to her head as a little tank.

Argent gasps, "Oh Sheila you're adorable!"

Sheila drives circles around her head," Thank you."

"You're welcome! ...Travis says he can't find them either, weird. He's sending a ship to bring us up to the Righteous Indignation. Ready to see your new home Sheila?"

" Absolutely! "

It takes maybe a half hour for them to get in the ship, and fly up to the Righteous Indignation, but it's a trip well worth it.

Argent takes off her helmet, and takes out the AI chip that has Sheila in it. Then she plugs her into a terminal in the hangar. "Are you there Sheila?"

" Yes. Oh my! Its so roomy in here!" Sheila says happily.

Kate smiles, "I'm glad you like it! Hey, mind if I clear something up with you real fast?"

" Of course." She appears on the console."Well remember when I said I didn't see how it could work between us?"

" Yes."

"Well... That was then, and no offense, but you didn't have much of a personality then. I think Tucker's computer had something to do with it.

You could just see Sheila shiver," Some of those things that boy looks at..."

"Please spare me the details... So... Maybe we could... Try? I mean we're sort of living together now," she giggles.

" Affirmative. I will try."

Argent gasps, "Really?! YAY!" She leans in, and lightly brushes the hologram of Sheila with her lips, "Thank you Sheila!"

" No problem Kate. Now how are we going to find Avaline and the others?"

"Not a clue..."

" I'll see what I can do from here, see what you can find out with Travis."

"Thanks Sheila!" Argent runs out of the hangar... and right into someone in yellow armor. Argent falls right on her ass with a yelp.

" Hey! Watch it!"

"Sorry... Wait a minute, who the hell-?!" She jumps to her feet, pulling a Needler off her hip.

Travis runs over, "Whoa, chill out ladies! Argent welcome home! Say hello to our new part-timer."

"...Our what?"

" Part-timer!" The solider repeats, her voice is high-pitched and girly.

"...Travis, did you hire her on account of her being a chick?"

"Of course! You're a dude, and Winchester is... Winchester. A guy has to get his rocks off somehow, especially after a month adrift in space! Damn Utah, messing with my jetpack."

Argent shakes her head, "Still don't know how survived that."

"Experimental air recyclers," Travis responds.

" Yeah, I have no clue what you guys are saying..."

Argent laughs, "Well with that yellow armor I thought you were Griff for a second."

Travis snorts, "Come on, Griff is Orange, she's yellow!"

Sister perks," Griff? As in fat and lazy Griff?!"

"Oh you know him?" Argent tilts her head.

" Yeah! He's my brother!"

Argent's jaw drops, "...Aw shit..."

" What?"

"He... uh... he's missing."

" HE'S WHAT?!" She shrieks,

"We're looking for him though," Argent assures her. "He was with Winchester, my BFF, so he should be fine."

" Who the hell is that?"

"Alaska," Travis explains. "This is Tennessee."

" So she's a state? Cool!"

"No, it's their codenames," Travis says. "Mine is Georgia."

" Oh...Cool!"

"I don't think Nevada is taken if you want that one," Travis offers

" Sure, this is going to be amesome!"

"Guys! Find team! Pronto! Sheila, any theories you can offer?"

" Negitive."

" Wait! What's going on?!"

"Sarge decided to set off a Nuke practically right next to us," Argent explains. "And it took out that weather machine too."

Travis rubs his neck, "Well I have an idea... but it's kinda... out there."

" Its can't be more out than the girl with several abortions!" Sister commets.

"Yeah I guess... wait, what?" Argent looks at tries to get there attention, "Okay, well that bomb plus the weather machine must have let off a lot of energy, right? Argent, your equipment redirects kinetic energy. I'm thinking that it sent it into Winchester's armor which could have sent them off at the speed of light which-"

"Point," Argent says.

"They might have gotten blown into the future, and probably a good distance from where they were," he explains. "I'll run some calculations just to be sure though."

" If they're in the future, how are we going to get to them?" Sister asks.

"Well the ship has a Light Drive," Travis explains. "I'll need my calculations to figure out just how far they went though, otherwise if we went after them we could miss them entirely."

"Oh...Thats not good..."

"Right, no worries though, we'll get to them," he assures her.

" Okay, whatever." She shrugs.

Argent looks at her, "Okay, well since everything is on this ship is top secret so we need something secret to call you that isn't your real name... How about we just call you Sister?"

" Yeah, works for me."she nods,

"Cool! So how's about we to play some video games while Travis gets his Nerd on?"

" Sure!" Sister says eagerly.

...OFF IN THE FUTURE...

Doc sets Lopez's head on a turret, and in his head Omega laughs. "_At last, our new base is complete_!" Doc sighs," Not everything you make has to be for evil." "_Of course it does! I can't exactly conquer the universe with fluffy stuffed toys, now can I_?"

" You could I mean, no one would see it coming from all the cuteness and cuddling!"

"_Oh shut up you fool! Since they all think I'm as good as dead they won't see me coming anyways!"_

" True, my mom always said presentation is important." Doc says in a matter of factory.

_"Silence! Now we just need to look at rebuilding the weather machine, and turning it on a global scale. Lopez, how long will you need to build a new body?"_

"Four hours at the most." he replies, Doc blinks," How is her going to do that with no hands?"

"_He'll tell you how to build a body for him,"_ Omega replies. "_And I'll translate for you_."

" See? This proves we can work as team, and not always fight!"Doc says happily.

"_Shut up you fool! This isn't a team, you two are my minions! Now let us go forth, and seize our destiny!"_

" Whatever you say bubby!"

"_Silence! And get to work!"_

"Do we really have to seize destiny? Can't we just invite it to join our online circle of friends?"

"_You fool, be quiet! ...And stop sending me those invites...they're repulsive..."_

_..._

Winchester nudges Tucker with a foot," Hey, wake up."

Tucker grouns and gets in a kneeling position. " Uh...What happened?"

"Sarge decided to Nuke our asses, and now we're in Hell," Griff replies.

"A nuke!? Then shouldn't we be dead?!...Like three times over?" Tucker stands and shakes his head.

"Did you miss the part where we're in Hell?" Griff looks around, "I've played Dante's Inferno so I know where we are. We're in the burning sands of the fourth circle of Hell: The Circle of Violence!"

" The circle n of Violence? Then wheres all the Violence?" Tucker looks around.

"No we we're put here BECAUSE of the violence we did unto others," Griff explains. "...Which doesn't make much sense in my case since I didn't do jack shit. I don't deserve to have my flesh melted off by burning sand!"

Winchester sighs," Quit your bitching, and help me get this jeep going so we can get out of here."

Simmons crawls out from under it, "Looks like the Parking Break was jammed, that's why it wasn't going anywhere."

" Figures..." she huffs," Caboose, bring the other jeep over here please."

" Okay!" He runs out of the temple.

Sarge runs up, "Just got done with Recon, sadly I didn't find Omega."

" Why is that a bad thing? " Tucker asks as Caboose walks back to them with the jeep held above his head." Where...to..set...it down..." he weezes.

"For the love of God Caboose, put it down!" Simmons says, & goes for the toolkit.

Caboose drops it and pants. Winchester climbs under the jeep with a wrench. Tucker leans aginst a wall," So what are we going to do once we get this thing fixed?"

Griff says, "We have to travel to the lowest circle of Hell, the frozen circle of Traitors, and then defeat the devil by having the souls we collect along the way absolve us of our sins. It's the only way out of Hell, and into Purgatory."

" For the last time, this is not hell!" Winchester snaps

"Griff, and Caboose are here so on a level I disagree," Simmons says.

" No, hell is when your strapped to a table and stabbed with needles, then forced into cryosleep."

"Sounds like you speak from experience," Sarge notes.

"She's a Spartan, Sir," Simmons reminds him. "They're medically enhanced for better reflexes, senses... everything really."

Winchester slowly looks at him," How did you know that?"

"Uh, kinda obvious," Simmons replies. "The only time I've seen skills like yours was from a video of Spartans like Master Chief, or from Freelancers. That little comment about needles just now confirmed it."

Winchester doesn't say anything else and gose back to working on the jeep.

Griff yawns, "I'm gonna go take a nap."

" Whatever." Winchester says.

...

After four hours, a somewhat repaired jeep sits, " Try now Simmons."

Simmons turns the starter, "Please-please-please-please-please!"

The jeep sputters then starts.

It's alive," Simmons gasps. "It's alive... IT'S ALIVE!"

Griff groans, "Rocket Whore, shut the fuck up!"

" Shotgun." Winchester says quickly.

"Fuck!" Griff complains.

Sarge looks at the second Warthog, "And what about that one?"

" I used parts from that one, This one had to many parts broken for me to fix it."

"Good call... Backstabber."

Simmons sighs, "Sir, she was under orders, aren't you ever going to let that go?"

"Hell no Private! Orders or not she betrayed my trust, and that is beyond forgiveness!"

" I don't care what you think. I may be a freelancer but, I still think of you guys as my team." Winchester says

"Traitor."

Simmons's hands shake on his rifle, "With all due respect sir, if you keep badmouthing my girlfriend then I'm going to shoot you."

"Way to slip it to the man," Griff approves,

Winchester ignors Sarge," Lets just go." She says and gets out of the shotgun position and gose to the back so she can stand with Simmons on the torrent.

Sarge hops in the driver seat while Donut takes shotgun. "Have a nice run Blues!"They watch him drive off, and they're quiet for a minute. Then Griff turns to Tucker, "He totally just left us with Caboose."

" Get use to it." Tucker sighs," Guess we better start walking."

"NOW do you believe me when I say we're in Hell? Fuck, that's probably the name of this planet."

" Damn, you DO complain a lot..." Tucker begins walking out of the temple.

"Oh like you've never complained about anything before!"

" Well duh, just not as much as you."

"Oh yeah? Well what about every time someone has the damn sniper rifle you bitch that it's not you? Oh how there are never any babes in the canyon you can date, or all the work Church tried to make you do?"

"...Point taken, but I'm not complaining now."

"You're stuck in the middle of a desert with Caboose while the only vehicle just took off. I'd say you have every right to complain."

" Yeah maybe bu-" Tucker was interrupted by a strange Blarg-honk sound. " What the hell?"

Griff looks to Caboose, "Was that you dude?"

" What was me what?" Caboobe looks around,

"I heard a Blargh-Honk or something like that."

Tucker shrugs," Oh well."

As soon as he dose a shadow of...well something comes around the corner.

Griff raises his rifle, "Alright, who's there?! I'm a space marine, I'm not afraid of anything!"

The shadow get bigger before the figure comes around the cornor, it was a blue armored elite with two Needlers.

Tucker blinks and turns, then jumps at the sight of the alien."Oh shit!" Griff turns to run the other way, and runs smack into something unseen. He lands on his rear, eyeing footprints in the ground. "Fuck! DEMONS, AND GHOSTS!"

Tex shuts off her invisibility, "No you Nimrod."

"EVEN WORSE! IT'S TEX WITH A PET DEMON!" He shuts up when she grinds a foot into his balls.

Tucker laughs and points," Haha!"

"BLAAARRRRGGE!" The alien roars, that shuts Tucker up as he swings around and points his rifle at it." What the fuck is that thing?!"

"Relax Tucker, he's a friend of Argent's."

" Friend?!" Tuckers looks at the elite," How do you know that?"

Tex passes him a rolled-up note, "His name is Crunchbite, and he gave me this. It's Argent's handwriting."

Tucker blink as he opens the note," What kind of name is Crunchbite?"

" I think it is a great name!" Caboose chimes in.

"Well his name is 'Honk-honk' in his language," Tex replies. She nods to Caboose.

The note reads:

"_To Reds, and Blues of Blood Gultch,Hey guys! Travis tells me he think you guys got blasted about a month into the future so we're on our way! When Crunchbite told me he was going to be looking for his holy relic in the desert area, which Travis thinks is where you guys showed up, I wrote this out on the off-chance he crossed paths with you. Just hang on until we get there!_

_Love,Kate Argent_"

" No, fucking, way. How is that even possible?" Tucker throws the paper to the ground

Griff groans as he gets to his feet, "What is your problem with my balls?"

"Stupidity like yours doesn't deserve to procreate," Tex replies.

" What's this relic he's looking for?" Tucker asks.

Tex shrugs, "No clue, I don't speak Covenant."

" That's not helpful, and where did the reds go? They just kinda drove off."

"Oh, they're on their way to Omega's new fortress on the beach," Tex says. "Crunchbite was headed in that direction when I found him, and we saw the Warthog take off."

" Omega? I though he was dead? "

"Nope," Tex says like nothing could piss her off more. "He's like a fucking cockroach..."

" Lovely...So we wait?"

"Hell no, we attack... that's what your friends just left to do, right?"Griff gulps, "Um..."

" Shit! C'mon Crunchbite, we gotta go!" Tex starts running for the exit.

" Hey wait for us!" Tucker runs afyer her.

Griff takes off, "Come on Caboose!"

" Okay!" He runs after them," Why are we running?"

Tex shouts, "If we don't hurry then Omega will kill them before they know what hit them! One of you call them on your radio, mine is down right now."

" Relax, Win is with them, they'll be fine. " Tucker says off handily.

"Freelancers are good, but we're not invincible," Tex reminds him. "We still need intel, so do it!"

" Uh...Fine." Tucker huffs and clicks on his radio, " Yo, reds! Are you there!?"

"What do you want ya dirty Blue?!"

" Omega is still alive, he's at the windmill place thing."

"What the West Wind?! Hey Agent Backstab! Tucker says Omega's at that windmill!"

" Really? No kidding, as if the giant turrets and mines weren't a big clue." She says with NO sarcasm at all," I freaking know that already!"

Tucker snickers," Yeah, okay well Tex, me, Caboose, and Griff are on our way."

"He says he found a secret text at that temple! Maybe it knows Omega's weak spot!"

" Huh? No! I said We are on our way there now!" Tucker corrects.

"They're bringing the text," Sarge whoops. "You hear that Omega! Prepare to be demolished by ancient prophecies!"

Tucker sighs and clicks off his radio," They know now."

"Good," Tex replies. "Alright people, lock 'n load, and double time it!"

...

" What else did Tucker say?" Winchester asks, holding on to Simmons from behind on the torrent.

"That was it," Sarge says. "We just gotta hold out until they get here!"

Simmons is firing his own turret as Sarge drives wildly, "They're miles away, we'll never make it!"

Winchester throws a grenade at a torrent and watches it explode," You guys keep they're attention, while you're doing that I'll infiltrate the base."

"On it," Simmons assures her.

"Me too," Church says as he logs in new coordinates.

Winchester gives Simmons an squeeze around his waist," Be safe." She then disappears.

...

"_Oh for the love of Evil, SHOOT THEM!"_

"What's it look like I'm trying to do?" Lopez sasses.

_"I was talking to this other fool."_

"Oh..."

"_Come now Doc, one bullet in the rear end never killed anyone! ...Sadly."_

" I'm a Pacifist! What do you expect?!"

"_Just do it before I tear your mind apart! Ah to hell with it! I'll do it myself!"_

" Fine, whatever!" Doc sighs.

...

Winchester appears inside the base," Church, what part are we in?"

"The inside," he says blandly. "It's not like I have a map of this place."

" Just making sure, its a habit." Winchester cocks her rifle and runs down a hall," Alright, lets find something that looks expensive and blow in stright to hell."

"Got any bombs?"

" Nope, figured I'd improvise. "

"Improviser, it's your jam huh?"

" In some situations yes." She skids to a stop by a weird looking compute," Mmmm...This looks important. "

"Please tell me you're not going to pull a Caboose, and randomly push buttons..."

" No of course not." She pries open a panel and grabs a handful of wires and yanks.

"Ah... I guess that works too."

She pulls out a fragment grenade and thows it inside and takes off running as it explodes." Alright next?" She turns down anouther hall with her sniper rifle rasied

"We take out the turrets, I saw a good sniping tower on the left side."

Winchester nods," Okay. ..for that we need the main computer. " she turns down anouther hall" And I'm guessing it would be on the top floor."

"Already got the coordinates, three seconds to jump."

" Affirmative. "

She teleports again, this time to the top of the indicated pillar of stone. She looks around and spots the computer to her right, she walks over and beings typing."Okay, what are we looking for?"

" Shutting down the torrents, and disabling all defenses. "Smart plan! You know, if you don't mind, I think I'll stay in your head."

" Thanks...I think?"

"Sorry if that was creepy, but since you're a Freelancer you're gonna eventually leave these idiots, right? I'm on my knees here, please take me with you..."

" I'll see what I can do." Winchester says," Alright now that the defenses are down, as well as the torrents, lets give Omega a gift shall we?" She puts her rifle on her back. She then takes something off her hip and flings out her hand, a long blade of blue/purple energy extends for the handle.

"Whoa, looks sharp! Where'd you get that?!"

" I picked up a couple of them on my missions, I've grow quite fond of them." She turn and heads out of the room.

"Boss," church approves quietly so they can sneak.

Winchester silently creeps down the halls, then turns a corner. She does so just in time to see Lopez blasted off a turret by a sniper rifle."Woo, headshot," Tex whoops from the outer walls.

Winchester looks around," Where did Omega go?"

"I don't know-HOLY SHIT WHAT IS THAT THING?!" Church points at Crunchbite.

Winchester whirls around with her rifle raised and narrows her eyes, her finger begins to pull on the trigger...

Tex bounces a bullet off of the ground between Winchester's legs, "Hey chill out, or the next round is unloading in your ass."

" BOW CHICKA BOW WOW!" Tucker yells from out side.

Winchester snaps her head up and lowers her rifle," What the fuck is a elite doing here?!"

Griff runs up, "It's okay, he's with us. Argent had him deliver a message from the past.

Tucker runs up ," Think you could of turned off the torrents sooner?! But hey on the other if you need to turn something on I'm your man! Bow chicka bow wow!"

Winchester grits her teeth and ignores him.

Tex looks around, "Where the fuck is Omega?"

" That's the problem." Winchester says," Church, couldn't find him." She swishes her swords around a little. The blue armored elite looks at Winchester then at the sword.

Griff tilts his head, "Wait a sec, isn't this the same alien that Argent always said was looking for the sword with a Power core that never dies?"

" Well this isn't it. Now back on task." Winchester says and turns around," Speard out and find Omega." Sarge looks around, "I think Tucker's already on it, that boy is a better soldier and I thought, following words before they're even given! Good job… For a blue."

Winchester rolls her eyes," Sure, whatever, where's Simmons?"

"Trying to find Lopez," Sarge replies.

Winchester nods and walks down a hall way," Let me now if anyone find something."

Church vanishes, and then appears, "Well apparently we ghosts can go into computer interfaces. No sign of them."

Caboose perks, "I know where we can find him... He lived in my head for a while, maybe he left an address!"

"Sounds like he took the furniture when he left," Sarge quips. "And the carpet... And the drapes... And I wouldn't expect to get that deposit back if you know what I mean."

Crunchbite roars and heads outside.

...

Tuckers groans and sits up from where he fell in a hole.

Sarge looks at Tucker, "Anyone got a hammer? I wanna play Whack-a-Blue!"

" Argent would...But she's not here." Griff sighs.

Tucker climbs to his hands, and knees, "Whatever dude... What'd I miss?"

" Not much, torrents are down, Lopez is missing, so is Omega, you fell in a hole." Griff shrugs, while playing with hi

"I can think of a few holes I'd rather be in, BOW CHICKA BOW WOW!"

Griff snorts," To bad that all the women here are complete bitches."

Tucker glances behind him at Tex, and Winchester. "...No comment dude."

Griff sighs," They're right behind me aren't they?"

"Yeah... They are... Nice knowing you dude!"

Tex grabs Griff by the shoulder, and drags him off as Tucker eyes Winchester's Energy Sword. "Cool, you found one too?"

" No, I've had it, I actually have two." Winchester says.

"Awesome, I found one down there, check it!" He puts away his battle rifle, and draws his sword with flare, "I feel like a fucking Jedi with this thing."

The elite snaps its head towards Tucker and runs at him with a roar, it bash him repeatedly with a melee.

"OW! FU-OW!"

Church laughs as Tucker repeatedly cries out in pain. "Hey Tucker, this is a good chance to see how they fight! Just lie still, for Science!"

"UP-OW-YOURS-OW!"

Winchester snickers" Man either he really doesn't like you, or he really wants that sword."

"Maybe both," Church snickers.

" Most likely." Winchester turns around," Have fun with your friend! But not to much fun. Bow chicka bow wow." She smirks.

"BITC- OW! WHAT'D I EVER DO TO YOU?! OWWWW!"

Winchester walks down the hall, Tuckers screams and curses still clear," I half to say that made by day two times better."

"Oh you too? Oh well, once he hands that sword over things will go back to normal."

" Not like they were normal in the first place."

"Good point."

Winchester climbs to the top of the tower and switches back to her sniper rifle.

Church looks around, "...Maybe we scared him off?"

" Omega is not one to run from a fight."

"Well then why did he run?"

" I'm not sure." She looks though the scope on her rifle.

Church looks too through her visor, "...There's Tucker, still getting pounded...and Griff, long since pounded…"

" There's Simmons, Dount, Sarge...Where's Tex?" She turns a little to the right.

"probably invisible doing a on the ground search, if she doesn't want to be found and you're not going to see her."

" Very well. " she turns backs around only to come visor-to-visor with Caboose.

" Hello!"

"JESUS! GODDAMNIT CABOOSE!" Church appears a good eight feet away.

Winchester un-tenses and sighs,

" Can I help you?"

" Yeah...No...yes...no."

"What... Do... You... Want," Church says slowly.

Caboose reaches out and touches Winchester in the chest," Tag." He bolts away from them.

"Uh... Did he just feel you up?"

Winchester blinks," uh..."

"I wonder who talked him into THAT one," Church muses. "Can't be Tucker..."

Winchester shrugs," Or it was just Caboose being Caboose. Instead of chasing him can I just shot him?"

"Sorry, I'm saving him in case we need to eat someone."

Winchester blinks," I can't...I don't...Never mind..." she jumps off the side on the tower and slides along the concrete slope on the side.

"Are you going for badass points here?"

" No, just a quicker way down is all." She volts off at the last second and rolls to break her fall.

"Hey, how long has it been since Crunchbite started wailing on Tucker?"

" About seven minutes." Winchester stands and takes her rifle off her back.

"Alright, just checking to see how long the footage on that hidden camera I asked Caboose to set up would be. Let's leave him... How does a half hour sound?"

" Fine by me." She walks up to Sarge and Simmons," Have you guys discovered anything?"

"Only the joy of watching a blue getting beat to death by a giant alien," Sarge says with a sigh. "I feel like I'm in high school asking the first girlfriend out to prom again." He strokes his shotgun fondly.

Winchester shakes her head," I'll take that as a no?"

Simmons nods, "yeah that's a no."

" Great...Have you found Lopez yet?"

"No, but I found some tracks under the turret Tex shot him off of."

Sarge looks to Simmons, "How the hell was he shooting that thing if he's just a head?"

"He's very determined Sir."

Sarge stares at him, "...That sounds like a crock of shit, even to me."

Simmons shrugs, "My other theory is that what's left of the weather machine has given Lopez short-rage telekinetic powers."

"Then why the hell hasn't he built himself a new body?"

"Sir, in the three years we've been assigned to Blood Gulch how much of our lives has actually made sense?"

"Touché."

" Damn, Omega must of taken him when he escaped. " Winchester grits her teeth and sighs.

Church pats her head with a tiny hand, "Oh don't worry, you said he doesn't run from fights so he'll be back. Meanwhile we have some awesome shelter in the middle of the desert!"

" Yeah..." She takes off her helmet and wipes her forehead.

Tex appears, "Well I solved one dilemma, I made a translator for Crunchbite."

Church smirks, "Oh I dunno, I like his current method of communicating..."

"What are you-? Oh..." She spots Tucker getting beat up. "...Okay, yeah, me too."

Winchester puts her rifle on her back," Where did Caboose go?"

" Who cares?" Griff says.

Tex clears her throat, "Oh, he's helping me carry the translator."

Simmons turns to her, "Huh?"She meets his gaze for a minute, and then looks down, "... I can't lift it."

" Oh, what was that?!" Griff snaps his head to her.

"It's too heavy alright?! I don't have to upper body strength."

"Whoo! There's a first! She fin-" Griff begins but, quickly goes silent with a warning shot That grazes between his legs from Winchester.

Tex nods at Winchester, "Thanks. Now where is Caboose with that bomb...?"

Caboose comes around the corner with the bomb in hand," Here..."

Sarge takes one look at it, "You couldn't carry THAT?" He walks over to take it, "Here, why don't you let m- BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL!" As soon as he takes it from Caboose he is dragged to the ground by its weight.

Caboose sighs in relive," Yeah...Its really heavy..."Winchester walks over and picks it up from Sarge." Yeah, it is a little heavy."

Simmons stares at it, "So... A bomb... Is our translator?"

"One hell of a way to say hello," Church comments. "I guess it makes sense, so far this thing's language is comprised of violence. That probably makes Tex fluent huh?"

"Up yours you ass." Tex snaps.

Caboose walks up to them," Yeah, I don't think making the bomb mad is a good idea. Because if he gets mad we might be dead, because someone made the bomb mad...I do not want to be dead."

"Caboose... It's a bomb," Church says slowly.

" That can talk." He finishes and looks down at it," Isn't that right Andy?"

"Yes Caboose," Church says agreeably. "The bomb can talk because Tex put a translator in it."

" I know, But you still do not want to make him mad."

Church sighs, "Caboose… It's a bomb… It's not alive, and it doesn't have feelings."

" Ah, want do you know ya diry Shinso?" A voice says. Griff slowly looks down," Did it...Did it just talk?"

Tex nods, "well yeah of course, he couldn't translate if he couldn't talk."

" I know...But there's a difference between translation and actually talking." Griff says." Since were talking about differences, I see non between you and stupidity!" Andy spits.

Griff looks up," This thing is a Asshole!"

" No, no, he has his facts pretty straight." Winchester says with a light scoff.

Church laughs, "Yeah, it looks like Tex built a smart bomb."

" Alright, anyway. What's the plan?" Griff asks.

Church glances over at Tucker, and watches the alien beat tucker.

"Ow...ow...ow...ow...ow..." Tucker monotones his cries of pain, now sounding more bored than anything.

Winchester turns her head towards him," Oh...I forgot about him..." she walks over and kicks the alien away. He blargs in protest and stands while staring at the sword.

Tucker gets to his feet slowly, "Oooohh I'm gonna die..."

" You'll be fine." Winchester says flatly and turns back around,

"Easy for you to say, you didn't spend the last... However long it was... Getting pulverized by an alien."

"It was only Thirty minutes. " She walks back to the others and crosses her arms.

"Just one minute is too much," he whines as he moves to pick up the sword, but pauses when he glances at Crunchbite.

Crunchbite growls and turn away from him," Honk honk!"

Tex turns to Andy, "You're up."

" Alright fine...The alien said that the sword is the great relic he's been looking for."Andy says.

"Well no shit," Sarge says. "We knew that already. Can't he understand what we say?"

" Well he understands your a jackass!"

" Blarg honk!"

" Yeah, you can say that again. Anyway, he says that who ever find the sword is part of a legendary prophecy."

Tex mutters, "Why is my bullshit meter acting up?"

" Well that's what he said, he also said that the person has to go though challenges to prove he's worthy. And that would be you teal one."

"Who's the teal one," Church asks.

"I think he means Tucker," Simmons replies.

Tucker protests, "I'm not Teal!"

Donut nods, "Yeah, he's totally Aqua!"

" Ah, whatever." Andy say broadly.

" Cheer up Andy!" Caboose says happily," Think of a happy place!"

" My happy place is firey explosion."

"Less happy place Caboose," Church says quickly. "Less happy place!"

"Calm Andy yo-"

" I am calm!" Andy begins to rant.

" Its okay! Lets count back wards from ten. Ten, nine, eight, se-"

"No!" Everyone yells.

Church chuckles nervously, "Okay, why don't we ALL calm down, we don't want to get angry, none of us do, right?"

" And by 'We' you mean me right?' Andy snarks.

"What?! No! I uh... I mean Tex!"

She jerks, "What?!"

Church continues, "Yeah she's a royal bitch like she's on her period 24/7."

" ...I think your bluffing... " Andy says unsurely

Tex growls at Church, "What are you doing?"

"Hey," he whispers back. "You might be okay with getting blown to Kingdom Come, but I'm not!"

She sighs, "Yes... That's right... I'm a cranky, crabby bitch..."

" I still don't know..."

"Now it's true," Tex continues, getting into her role."Yeah," Tucker says. "Back at the base we call her Bitch-Pants McCrabby!"

" Not me, I call her Misses Mcrabby!" Caboose pimps in.

" Ah, she sounds like a real hand full." Andy blinks a couple of times.

"Yeah, she is," Church laughs, enjoying this maybe a bit too much.

" And be careful, she'll even kick you in the balls for no reason. " Griff grumbles.

" Huh...She dose seem like a bitch..."

"Yes," Tex says through her teeth. "Especially when I'm angry... I tend to kill people on my own team..."

" Yikes, hate to be you guys."

Griff chuckle nervously, " I really need to lean to keep my mouth shut..."

" I could shut you up by blowing up." Andy says cheerfully.

Tex turns to Andy, "Sorry, but blowing up on these idiots is my job. So Crunchbite, what is this 'Quest' all about?"

" Blsaarrgggee honk blarge!"

" He said that the teal one must go though the burning plans and the freezing plans." Andy says.

" I bet there's some wet plans in between!" Caboose says.

"Caboose, for the love of God, shut the fuck up."

" And he also said that if you won't go, he'll kill everyone here and take the sword."

Tex says brightly, "I think a quest sounds fun! Come on tucker!"

Tucker looks to Crunchbite, "Will there be babes?"

" Honk!" the elite says.

"He said yeah." Andy says while blinking, " I was hoping you'd say no...Because, well, I kinda like that killing everyone option..."

"I'm in," Tucker says, picking up the sword. "Lead the way Alien Dude! I got me some fine ladies just waiting for me to show off my sword. BOW CHICKA BOW WOW!"

" I'm a lady, and somehow I don't feel any luckyer." Winchester says blandly.

"Oh please, what kind lady are you? If your a lady Winchester, no offense, then I'm Clint Eastwood."

Winchester tilts her head," Huh?"

" How could you not get that reference?!" Griff says in disbelief.

"Yeah Griff's right! Even Caboose has seen Bruce Almighty! Oh the things I would do if I were God..."

" Well I'm not accustomed to the same types of entertainment you are." Winchester says flatly.

Church turns to caboose, and says, "You're going with him."

" Okay," Caboose says happily. The alien picks up Andy," Alright then lets get a move on. If you have to go to the bathroom do it now, cause I'm not stopping!"

Tucker stares at church, "dude, what the fuck is wrong with you?!"

"Me? I saw a chance to get rid of caboose and took it, there's nothing wrong with me!"

" I thought you were saving him from if we ever needed to resort to cannibalism?" Winchester stares at them," That's...it...I...Never mind...If you need me Ill be taking a siesta." He turns and walks away.

Church shrugs, "I'm a ghost, it's not like I'll ever have to eat him. Besides, after seeing how strong he is I would think that much muscle makes the meat tough."

"Charge..."

"Son of a Body Snatcher!" Sarge points to where a small army of Lopezes stroll up towards the windmill.

"I got it," Tex says as she messes with a turn twards them," Why the hell are they moving so slow?" She rasies her rifle and shoots one thou the visor.

"Ow..."

Tex presses a button, and a portal door appears by the army. Red, and Blue soldiers whoop, and cheer as they run into sight.

"Woo-HOO!"

"YEAH!"

"NEW LEVEL!"

Simmons hides behind Tex, "Oh Fuck!"

Tex gives sharp whistle, "Hey! These brown guys work for the purple demon that took your flags!"

" They took the flag and must be destroyed! CHARGE!" The religious nut charge at the small army. Pretty soon there's bullets and plasma flying though the air.

Tex turns to Winchester, "Another present from Argent, She rigged the Battle Creek portal with a remote, and... You know what, whatever. These guys gotta work for Omega which means he's nearby." Tex turns invisible.

Winchester nods and slowly disappears as well." Good, then lets get the son of a bitch."

"Later dudes! C'mon Crunchbite, let's get those chicks!"

Griff looks to Caboose, "Hey I have an idea! Since you're on Red Army now why don't I go with Tucker, and you take care of your teammates?"

" But Church said to go with them, and he is my best friend, and friends listen to each other." Caboose turns and begins walking with the elite.

Griff looks over his shoulder at his former teammates, "But Caboose, hey need your HELP!"

Caboose stops," Well, yes I guess that is also a good reason."Church appears," No, no, no. Caboose, go with Tucker."

" Okay!" He turns back around and begins walking again.

"Goddamnit," Griff sighs.

Sarge turns to the remaining men, "Alright men, and Griff, the Freelancers have the situation well in hand! That means it's up to is to-"

"Sarge, do you hear that?"

"Simmons, don't interrupt me while I'm talking!"

"But Sarge, the Warthog's radio!"

"Huh?" Sarge turns, and they head for the Warthog. Over the radio they can hear a voice saying,

"Distress! Distress! Oh there's so much distress!"

"Hot buttery lug-nuts," Sarge exclaims. "It's a Red distress signal!"

" I wouldn't call it a distress signal...That's all it says is ' Distress.' " Church says.

"Pixie Boy-"

Donut perks, "Yes sir?"

"I meant he one that's only five inches high," Sarge drones before turning to Church. "Shouldn't you be with Simmons's girlfriend right now?"

"Kinda glad Tucker isn't here right now," Griff notes." I'm multitasking. Duh" Chuch says," And I'm seven inches talk, get it right."

"Whoop-dee-fucking-doo," Griff mutters.

Sarge turns to the Reds, and Griff, "Can it meat sack!"

"I don't take orders from you, I'm a Blue now!"Sarge ignores him, "Now men, and Griff, we need to locate that signal as soon as possible!"

" I could help...But...you guys are all kinda assholes, except Dount, I like him."

" Really?!" Dount says happily.

"Given how his EX GIRLFRIEND just left to go fuck some shit up I'm pretty sure he doesn't mean THAT way," Simmons comments.

" Well I-" Dount begins but, is interrupted by Church before he can say anything else." Yeah, alright. Do you want my help or not?"

"Yes Please," Simmons replies.

Church disappears inside the jeep then reappears," Okie dokie, the signal is coming from that way." he points to his left.

"Thanks Fairy Boy!" Sarge hops in the driver seat."Shotgun," Simmons shouts.

" Fuck!" Griff curses.

" Shotguns lap!" Dount says cheerfully.

Simmons pulls a pistol on Donut, "Hell no, I have a girlfriend."

" Alright, alright! Sheeze! There's no where else to sit on this thing!"

Sarge nods, "Good point, I guess that means you'll have to follow on foot! If any of those robots, or Nimrods try to follow just shoot them."

"Sure! Its a good thing I took track in high school!"

Simmons tilts his head, "I thought that was Doc that took track?"

" We both did."

"Well good luck Donut!" Sarge drives off.

" Okay!" Dount looks around and head towards the gun fire of Tex and Winchester.

Omega is shouting something in Spanish, and then turns to Lopez, "_Lopez, are you sure that means 'evil'_?"

"Yes."

Tex shoots him in the shoulder. "_Oh by the we seventh circle of Hell, move your feet you imbecile! Or do you want to be shot?!"_

" I am but you keep going the opposite way!" Doc exclaims.

Dount sneaks around a corner and spots a ghost. " Cool!" He hops on and moves forward," Wait how do I forward- never mind!"

"_What the-?! AW DAMN! I had two more payments on that thing!"_

" That's what you get from not getting the double warranty. "

"_Oh shut up! That's just a scam, just like insurance!"_

" Its also what you get for living in a bad neighborhood."

: "_Of course we live in a bad neighborhood, we're evildoers! We're what makes the neighborhood bad!_"

" You know if you were nicer, you'd more allies."

"Oh _shut-GAH FUCK!_!"That last bit comes from a shot in the ass while his back was

Winchester smirks," Nice shot Tex." She levels her rifle at his head.

"_Oh to Hell with this! Grab Lopez, and run you fool!_/Doc turns to run but comes face-to-face with Winchester, " Your against two high ranking freelancers, you think you can win?" She switchs to her energy sword with a flare.

_"Oh shit_..."

Winchester bashes him a crosses the face and pins him to the ground with a foot," OW! My face!" Doc complains," Why did you have to do it so hard?"

" Silence." Winchester hisses.

"_That's my line, and what do you want? I can be rather generous with my allies..."_

" I want you gone." She puts the swords up to his neck to where it barely touching him," Tex, would you like to do the honors?"

"Oh yes," Tex purrs.

"_Oh but you're not going to do that,_ "Omega cackles. /_"Neither of you are! Because you're soldiers, and you will do what needs to be done to win the war. As we speak a plan is already underway, MWAHAHAHAH!"_

" What are you talking about?..." Winchester narrows her eyes, putting more weight on her foot that was on his chest.

"_OH! Well you certainly can't have me tell you if this buffoon can't breathe so kindly remove your foot."_

_.._.

Tucker looks around at the desert as black jagged rocks sprout from the sand. "Dude, we've been walking for ages, where are the chicks already?"

" Blarge blarge honk!" The elite stops and turns.

" He said that they come after the quest is done. Now these are the burning planes, and the great monster that guards it is down there in the crater. "Whoa hold on dude, monster?" Tucker swallows as he checks to make sure his plasma rifle is loaded... He THINKS it is...

" Alright here's the plan we'll swoop in and distract it while you run in and kill it with your sword."Andy says. "Really? THAT'S the plan? Can I, like, use my gun so I don't have to get in eating-range of the monster?"

" Ah quit you winning ya big baby." Andy says," Just use your awesome prophecy powers."

"Dude my only powers are NOT going to work on this thing. Some babe at a Nightclub yeah, but not some ugly monster."

" Quite being chicken."Andy says" Blarge honk?"

"What's he saying?"

" Oh. He asked what a chicken was, I told him it was this nasty little bird that humans eat, and that they also eat the white things that shot out of its butt."

"Not me man, I hate eggs."

" Yeah, yeah, yeah , Whatever. Do you want to get this done so we can all go home already? I'm already sick of your dumbass."

"You go like ON three, or three then go?"

" On three, One...Two...THREE!" The alien jumps inside the crater.

Tucker leaps into the crater as well, rifle in one hand, and sword drawn in the other with a battle cry.

" Huh?! Where's the big monster thing?!" Andy exclaims.

Tucker looks around, and spots a skull in the sand. "Huh?!"The alien walks up, "What the-?! You killed it already?!" Andy exclaims.

"It's my first time here dude, and THAT'S your monster? That's a cow skull man, I kill about ten of those every time I have lunch."

" Ah, whatever...Next we have to go though the swap plans."

"Swamp? Woah-woah-woah, you never said anything about a swamp!"May 13" Caboose was right when he said there was some wet plans in-between."

"Dude, swamps are some bad mojo. Like they got the mosquitoes, those crazy-ass Amazon b*** that cut off one of their b***, alligators, and did Mention the crazy-a** Amazon b*** that cut off their right b***?"

" So what? Your wearing armor! !"

"'Hell hath no fury like a crazy-ass man-hater,'" Tucker replies. "I wanna see this prophecy, read the fine print."

" Aw suck it up!" Andy snaps, " Now lets get moving!"

"Whatever dude," Tucker sighs. "Hey just how many babes are waiting for me at the end of this thing? ...And not that I care, but where is Caboose?"


End file.
